"Venting" my Adventures

[diane999]

@Steve

Of course its problematic, and yet how many men on here sign up here for that very reason? Knowing the numbers and calls I get I can safely guess 2/3rds. Shyness is relative to most guys being intimidated by a woman’s looks. I would bet that 2/3 of the 2/3 would not be shy amongst guys in their class, per say.

While Rone and several other putatives would be a great choice, I am inclined to research other molecules and their potential to increase ones own value. In reality the person would not be devaluing anyone since a persons value can not be based on looks.

Rone is a great molecule in allowing the individual to experience confidence. However confidence does not always overcome shyness. I have a very good friend who is a microwave engineer: brilliant and incredibly confident with himself, his friends, his career, but is way to shy to speak with ladies. Regardless of his confidence levels he just believes he does not have a chance with the beauty across the room based on the value he has assigned to her on looks alone.

This is a touchy subject, but I’m going to give my perspective on it based on my own beliefs and experience. I don’t want you or anyone else to get offended.

As conscious, thinking beings who have a need to make all incoming stimulus rational and meaningful, we label things. Labeling things boxes them in and blinds us to other, perhaps also useful, meaning. We frame things for our own sanity and comfort and sense of well-being. To label is to halt growth that is painful, by making something that is truly unknown, known. And we do place value of one sort or another based on the frames we assign someone (or ourselves) to.

From what you have said above, your friend uses “too beautiful” as a label for this reason, to give meaning to his body’s sensations of being inadequate with her and to lessen his anxiety around it. He doesn’t see that to frame her as “too beautiful” is to label himself as “not beautiful enough to be with her.” We always frame ourselves in relation to the other frames we create.

He can wear all the approach pheromones in the tool box and still end up rejecting every woman who approaches who falls into his comfort frame of “too beautiful” because he is “too shy” - another self-imposed frame.

@Steve

I used the words devalue and disrespect carefully as they were words you chose for your husbands reactions to you. Hence why I was very careful to write that it was not to devalue or disrespect a persons natural given value, but only the value placed on another based solely on looks alone.

I understand and I wasn’t offended.

@Steve

Certainly basing a persons looks as a scale of value is biased and inherently skewed to begin with. Should I really care about Miss California’s response to the gay marriage question based on the very real fact she is beautiful, or rather care that it was a genuine response given by a genuine person regardless of anything else?

Now I based my questions, as an inquisitive researcher, based on your report of your husbands response to TAH. In the spirit of research I am wondering if TAH would have a similar effect, yet working from a different perspective? I asked you because I respect your research and thought you might have some insight. Thanks for your input

Thank you, Steve. I wish I could be more helpful. But pheromones only enhance what is there. Pheromones can be used as an adjunct, but real work to change the frames still has to take place to change the underlying beliefs and methods of operation.

If your friend wanted to change his self frame and the way he frames women who are “too beautiful” but experiences too much anxiety when he tries, I would suggest:

Androsterone
P91
TAF

The reason I chose these is that Androsterone gives you confidence and a sense of self value that is not dependent on what others think. P91 acts to take yourself out of yourself, becoming thoughtful and wanting to love others for who they are. P91 is appreciative. TAF has ego-balm characteristics and ability to reset null-frames and make things new. TAF also has social anxiety-blocking properties.

This combination could work for him to lower the anxiety he experiences while he works on getting out of his self imposed frames of “not beautiful enough” and “too shy.” But he still has to do something and not just sit still and dig the vibe.

Diane