Soooooo.
My kid - 12 female has her BFF over. They have been friends since 1st grade. He is male, tall & good looking. They are in the basement playing Sims. She just told him to keep his ERECTION away from her.
I did not know what an ERECTION was when I was in college. I thought it was a building… WTF??? Do 12 yr old boys have those? My twins are almost 11, will they get them soon? What the fuck? Help!!!
OMG. Yes, some guys get hard/ have their testies drop even younger than that. Kids these days… if you knew what i was up to when i was your daughters age… but it is natural.
A LOT younger 
We’re living in a world where sex is everywhere. I didn’t even know what the F word was when I was 11 and now…it’s so difficult to keep our kids untainted nowadays.
Crap, in high school I though I would get pregnant from french kissing. I even called one of those anonymous help lines one night to ask them if I might be pregnant from kissing my boyfriend. The people on the other end of the phone were probably hysterical.
Phernoob:
Your boys are now officially noticing girls. Yes, they can get erections along with “those feelings”. And trust me they are already hearing a lot from their friends at school, even if it is a good private school. And the girls seem to pick up on the details a little quicker than the the guys. You were an unusual case. But there is a lot of mis-information out there too. You experienced that first hand.
A large part of how they deal with it will be up to you. Long gone are the days of thinking you can get pregnant from french-kissing. The bigger problem today is not really a lack of information though as we just said there is some misinformation mixed in there. The biggest problem is the fact that kids make poor decisions in part due to that part of their brain that processes risk does not fully develop until their early 20s combined with that feeling of “It will never happen to me” or “I am invincible” or “I know it all”.
So what does it mean? It is certainly time for you and your husband to have a running dialogue with the kids about such matters. And dad really needs to be involved with the dialogue with the boys. As long as they have a good relationship with dad it will mean a lot more coming from him. Obviously your daughter already has a good idea of what is what and you can bet the boys are getting a lot of info too.
And notice I did not say “the talk”. It cannot be just one talk. My recommendation would be to raise the subject, find out where they are and what they know, correct any misinformation fast, and shoot straight with them. Kids often understand the biological basics, they are certainly feeling the emotions, but you need to also pull in your familiy’s religious/spiritual/philosophical framework and tie them all in together so they have a complete picture. Then repeat often. The emotions they are feeling are normal but very strong . They are strong for adults and even more so for kids who are just starting to fully experience them plus they lack the filters that we as adults have built in order to process and deal with them. I have told my kids all this plus the part about their brain and risk processing I mentioned above.
Use things they see in real life or on TV to spur a discussion about what is appropriate and what is not. Why it looks neat on TV or the movies or sounds great in a song but what the real life consequences are. Remember - they are a captive audience in the car when you are driving them somewhere.
There will have to be open channels of communication with constant honest discussion to get through the next 10 years or so.
Sorry - I do not mean to preach or tell you how to run your family, but you said “WTF? Help!” so I threw my two cents worth in.
Boys get it at the age younger than 12 y/o
Are you sure she meant erection erection as in hard on, chubby, willy woody ect ect 
Cause my kids have Sims and when they refer to erection they mean when someone is erecting (building) something in the video game. I am sure they know what it means and use the term loosely as a joke.
I would not worry unless you over hear her saying “bring that erection over here” LOL
Kids that age find any words with sexual connotations to be very entertaining.
I remember whenever I said “Hand me that bag of nuts” or something to that effect in front of my son he would fall over laughing. 
Its all just part of learning about sexuality.
I am very open with my kids about sex, I am open with them about everything pretty much. My mom wasnt when I was young but she wont stop talking about it now that she is in her 80"s LOL She is trying to get back at me I am sure because she claims I have been seducing men since I was 5 
I talk to the boys about it and get the normal MAAAaaaaaaa I know all this stuff. They do learn all the basics in health class starting in 6th grade. Hell in high school now they even bring banana’s in to learn how to roll condoms.
I make sure they know the health and emotional risks and have said to my oldest " Oh I know you know about sex but do you know how to do it right" He may have been embarrassed but his future wife will thank me 
Tisha
I have the same attitude that you have. Open discussion early makes them less embarrassed, allows them to make better partner choices in the future as it demistifies the opposite gender, and opens the channels in the future for them to come and talk about problems with mom and dad.
And yes, they were talking about the real thing as they were on the phone with my daughters female friend who this boy likes.
Hmm I hope he wasnt trying to impress her. When I was 12 penis size was creepy, not cool. It was all about the size of the boy’s burps… The bigger the belch, the cooler the dude. Now the reverse is true!
I agree with you.
I feel fortunate to have a mixed gender sibling household so that they can see the other’s point of view.
My husband went to Catholic school K-12. Ironically, their sex education was far better than the one I received at public school. He said the priests were very open and honest. Now, I’m not sure if that was because it was an all-boys school and there were no girls listening.
I am very open and honest with them. I have the same attitude you have mentioned above. However. We live in an area where 75% of the parents do not agree. I have to walk that line between giving them age-apprporiate information, and not having them ostracized by their more conservative classmates.
Something I say to my kids (12 1/2 and 10 1/2), “hey, dont tell so & so that you watched a PG movie - they wont ever invite you over” LOL.
Also, I come from a hard-drinkin’ lecherous, libidinous family. There are plenty of colorful albeit negative examples to draw on for my kids. Teen pregnancies, affairs, prostitution, oh my! “Hey kids, you dont wanna end up like uncle john or cousin ellie may do you?” Yeee haw!
It sounds terrible and I don’t point it out from the “holier than thou” angle but when there is a social disaster - anything from drinking to drugs to DUI to automobile fatality to teen pregnancy - I point it out to the kids and we dissect what went wrong and what may have lead to it so they know.
Absolutely. Life is not a cartoon where someone has an anvil dropped on their head from a great height, then gets up and walks away.
Kids really need to understand concequences for their actions. Unfortunately, my family lives in an extremely affluent area where kids are spoiled and sheltered. I think many parents just dont give a damn unless they are at the golf course or the tennis club.
The behavior and language of these supposedly upper-middle class kids is appalling.
The other thing I wanted to point out which I think is a huge mistake that my parents generation did.. Was to bring up their kids as though they and adults are infallible. Regardless of their behavior, they could demand respect. So grandad beat the living shit out of my mom and her family, he was still given respect.
I hope those days are gone, and kids can see parents also make mistakes, and that’s why we can help kids navigate through this tricky landscape of society today.
Wow ! 
Yep. Although from working with kids the language and behavior thing can be across the board.
One thing I have done that i think really helps is tell the kids when I am wrong and apologize to them if it is appropriate … then they know they are respected and appreciated too.
You think you’ve seen it all? I go to school with these kids! My workplace is also open sexually XD.
Thank god my workplace is not open sexually - its just me and the boss (who looks like the Travelocity Gnome)… No beef jerky for him
My workplace is like a brothel LOL Hey its either that or kill each other and the government frowns on that. (snort)
Gives a whole new meaning to “going postal”.
Wow - I would love to go to that christmas office party!
Quote:
Originally Posted by tisha23 view post
My workplace is like a brothel
Hmmm, as a guest or working girl?
Sorry phernoob, I couldn’t resist!