A strange new world

Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!
1

Hello!
I’m currently a student at an all women’s college in the midwest, and while I love it academically, I HATE it socially. Not that I don’t love my friends, but four years of barely any interaction with single men has made me very rusty.

I’m finally 21, and I’m able to go out to bars and clubs, but this hasn’t been very productive. I make a lot of eye contact, but VERY rarely do I ever get guys to come up to me, and they’re usually not the ones I want to dance with or talk to.

My thinking is that this is due to a combination of lack of interaction with available men, so I really don’t know how to flirt or talk, and I don’t wear revealing clothing or dance suggestively, nor do I want to.

I ordered travel sizes of Instant Shine and Instant Openness from Androtics Direct (for testing) – and a bottle of that Androstenone Concentrate from another place, but now I’m wondering if that one was such a good idea.

What I’m hoping for is the pheromones to make me more approachable to men. I don’t want to be a sex object, and I certainly don’t want to make other women feel threatened by me – I tend to be a friendly face to women at bars and clubs and someone they can connect with. I want to feel attractive, without becoming a piece of meat.

2

Welcome sara,

One idea would be to go and talk to men the same way you talk to women or girlfriends .. Do not feel intimidated, nor throw yourself at them.

Just talk, have fun, be casual and leave whenever you like.

This attitde would work well, then of course you can add spicy pheromones for extra frequent flyer points.

3

Welcome to the forum. I think that you should want to be a sex object, just on your terms, heck I want to be a sex object.:smiley:

4

Hah! Well, I do have to admit I wouldn’t mind very much if I was looked at that way. I guess it’s just taking one step at a time. I have to actually be comfortable around guys in general before I feel prepared to handle anything like that.

It’s the “look but don’t touch” phase I’m in right now, I suppose.

5

Hi Mak :slight_smile:

That is a good idea – but I tried actually initiating conversation once, with dismal results. I’m just no good with small talk. I think trying Instant Shine and Openness is more to get me to open up than anything else.

6

With many attempts, you’ll always get failed ones. Sean Connery had failed initiations, but in light hearted approach we keep doing it, and usually end up in good company.

Intentions are for fun, casual social interactions. You mention being taken as friendly ?, if so, that is all you need.

7

I’m finally 21, and I’m able to go out to bars and clubs, but this hasn’t been very productive. I make a lot of eye contact, but VERY rarely do I ever get guys to come up to me, and they’re usually not the ones I want to dance with or talk to.

Hi Sara!:cool:
I won’t worry too much if I were you! Just be yourself..you’re young..life is full of ‘surprises’, it’s a journey and there’re no short cuts in it. You have to ‘climb’ it like a ladder, one step at a time. I sense you’re sweet and a nice girl. About pheromones, I can’t say much..it’s for you to find out.

BTW, welcome. May God bless you always.

“Come, let’s know each other
Let’s make things easy
Let’s love, Let’s be loved
This world will remain to no one”

  • Yunus Emre, Turkish poet

Thanks,
Mohammad :slight_smile:

8

Thank you, Mohammad :o

9

Bars and Clubs are not always the best places to look, especially the loud ones. You are just competing with the noise and a bunch of other guys and randomly throwing yourself out there. Its best to go where there is less competition in the sense that you do not have every guy out there putting the girls walls up with their overbearing sexual intentions. You could always do the grocery store thing, but that is way too common and boring. Look more for events, like take a light, fun college class. It gives you enough time to have the person settle down so you can work your own magic.

10

Finally I’m at a computer!

I got my products in – and they are FANTASTIC. I put on Instant Shine and Openness and got a lot of compliments from family and friends I hadn’t seen in a while – “You look fabulous!” that kind of thing. And conversation flowed pretty well.

I haven’t tried on Instant Sexiness, though I figure I will get a chance pretty soon.

So, yay! I’m really excited. And it’s not that I feel I need them or anything. I find myself wearing them simply when I need a little boost. I spray on Insant Shine even when I’m by myself and just feel a little lighter.

11

Rob is very right, and the women I meet there I can almost never take seriously as most of them have very little substance and are pretty unhealthy-with exceptions of course and I’m sure you are one. If you want to meet good guys I would suggest going to places with activitys…good examples would be karaoke bars, any place focused on dancing-dance classes (halls,events etc), casino/resorts (for fun not heavy gambling) are all decent recreational ones. Some of the best guys I know are into climbing.

In general I think you will be dissapointed by most guys from bars and clubs…
as for attention I remember watching David DeAngelo’s course, and he mentioned some crazy statistic that around 60% or 80% was it? someone help me out here? some pretty darn high percent of guys never talk to women the entire time they are there. Personally I only talk to girls after connecting eyesight twice (I’m pretty picky) then I go talk to them. First time I keep them in my mind if I catch them returning a look then I am on my way over lol. Although I’m pretty spoiled in that area I get a lot of attention, entirely with or without pheremones.
Most guys though when you see one to your liking if you aren’t afraid to look them right in the eyes when they are loking in your direction, they will more than likely come say hi if they have any balls at all. Just don’t keep doing it cause that gets weird. :wink: I don’t like small talk either, I hate it, but bars and clubs are full of it. I’m a big fan of all out dance clubs and coffee shops :slight_smile:

Don’t know if any of that was any help I just start talking/writing as the little gears in my head turn.
Aside from that, welcome to the forums, I love the people here. good luck :slight_smile:

p.s. girls that dance suggestively turn me off, I don’t know why, a girl grinding on me makes me want to leave. I like girls that don’t give up anything for me, I like a challenge. If you don’t want to then just dont :slight_smile:

12

Each to their own, horses for courses. “The Man” LOOOVES me piling attention like that onto him, and it always leads to a very fun night later on.

Some men like women who are not in their face, and are all sweet and submissive, some men abhor sweet, and love some up-front confidence and sass.

There is NO right and no wrong. Here in Scotland, bars and clubs are the prime pulling spots, and are VERY good places to meet new people, and develop relationships.

Like I said, horses for courses. Cultures, countries, time of year - whatever. It all makes a difference.

Many of us here don’t hold with so-called “Seduction Technique” gumff, a good few of us think it’s the best thing since sliced bread.

Everybody is different.

That’s the way of the world. If it were NOT so, what a bloody boring place it would be… ^_~

Ail :slight_smile:

13

Welcome to the forum Sara,
Bottom line - why a dance club?

I agree with both of these guys. I’m no player, but I have no prblem meeting women. (The town I’m now living in is a GLARING exception. more on that in a minute…) Find a place that is focused on a fun activity, not on impressing people or strutting your stuff. Seriously, think about what goes on in a dance club - it’s all about visual presentation and that’s obviously not your thing.

But what Ail says is all very true - for Scotland. When I originally moved here, I was told by both another transplant and a native, that if I did not drink, dance, AND “play the game”, then I would have a difficult time meeting anyone at all. I didn’t believe them, but now I do.
I haven’t done that kind of thing since my first year of college, and I soon tired of it even THEN. To be blunt, this towns nightlife revolves around a “meat market mentaility” and if that’s not your “scene” then the only other option is to travel out of town for your social life. The only people who go to bars and pubs here are bikers, and I can’t afford to buy my way into that “social club”. I hope you don’t have to do anything like that, but wonder why clubbing is your focus. There are (usually!) many other places and ways to meet people. I’m already planning on moving to a much more metropolitan, nearby city when my lease is up.

I’ve already admitted to you that I don’t know much about Scotland, Ail. I’ve read that in the UK there is a pervasive “pub culture” and I’m wonderiing if that’s what it’s like in Scotland. In England and Ireland I’ve read that people go to the neighborhood bar almost daily. That’s where they meet their friends and neighbors, they hang out, talk, meet new people, conduct business, and make dates or plans to do other things together. generally the pub is the center of everyones social life and it is a healthy social life. Sure, there is the potential to lean on alcohol as a crutch in those situations, but to me, this is more preferable than having to scream and shout over loud music after primping and dressing in a way you normally wouldn’t. The only time I’ve experienced anything like nightly pubbing myself was in the military, and I loved it because the beer/alcohol was not the focus of our “pubbing”. Sure, we drank, sometimes we danced, but mostly the bars were places to meet people, play pool and darts, hang out and generally socialize. Yes, females went to these strip club / bars - in that town, it was the best place for them to meet men.

But people here gravitate towards clubs. I could go on and on, but suffice it to say that I agree with Rob and Sleek – here in the USA, I just can’t fathom meeting anyone with any depth, and getting to know them, in a fricking dance club.

14

hi saraunne.
i am not dating presently, and i wear instant sexiness all the time. i can see where someone would wait till there was someone to wear it for, but in all honesty, i wear it for me. the way i feel while wearing it makes me feel like its all good, and anything more is frosting on the cake of my day. if i can be helpful, please let me know! :wink:

15

Ail – SO true. It does all make a difference.

Lor – that was helpful. :slight_smile: I tried it – and YEAH.

Hey Gabe, Sleekll, and Rob–
You’re right, and I agree with you – but the answer to why I always go to a dance club or a bar:

There is no where else, for me anyway. I have no car, nothing is in driving distance – you have to believe me, I’m in the middle of nowhere – and I am at the mercy of my friends. So when we do go out, it’s either to a bar or to go dancing (which I will do any day, anyway, just for myself), or the grocery store some weekend or another. There are no other places for me to go, unfortunately. If there was anything walking distance from the college, I really would.

As for presentation not being my thing, I’m not saying it isn’t – just not the very revealing type. I’ve actually gotten a lot more attention by just wearing a t-shirt and jeans than the other girls who are practically naked. It’s the not the attention that’s the problem. It’s getting certain guys actually over to me. And it’s not that I’m necessarily looking for stimulating conversation, or a boyfriend or anything like that.

Once I graduate and go to some place more populated, I’m sure location won’t be an issue. But right now, there aren’t other options.

I wish I was exagerrating.

16

Well, different cultures/places, different perception. In my country, people who frequently go to bars/nightclubs potray a negative image on themselves especially women. Sometimes when my friends call me on my cellphone and I tell them I’m in a pub, most of them usually will say “what the hell you’re doing there!” I used to pay a casual visit to some of the waitresses or runaways who took refuge in my home during their “trouble times” to see how there’re doing. As I wrote in one of my post, we can’t change people or expect them to follow our way of life but we can help to guide them thru (on certain things).

To all the young girls out there, it’s OK to have fun, as long as you know the limits and how to take care of yourselves..

“The strongest possible piece of advice I would give to any young woman is: Don’t screw around and don’t smoke” - Edwina Currie (The Observer, 3rd April, 1988)

Mohammad :slight_smile: