Before I forget when X1 brought me my first beer, a Woodchuck Pear Cider, it was filled to the brim as there is usually no foam heads on cider beer and I am certain she deliberately spilled half of it on me. It was dripping down my arm onto my leg. She smiled and walked away.
I immediately called her back and showed her the mess. She smiled, stood there in all her radiance. The street lights that shown through the open windows basking her in an eery yellow hue, mixed in with the green and red lights reflecting from the stage. She looked as if she was on fire, flames licking her very outline, scorching everything around her, I could hear the cries and pleading for mercy. There would be none though as this she-devil reached behind her, surely looking to pull out a sawed off shotgun and finish off the dying, that were savagely burnt around her in the ghoulish nightmare that was unfolding. I tried to get up and run, I tried to pull myself away from the female Pick Up Artist, this hot babe who gave death a makeover before I was caught in her clinched fists and destroyed where I sat.
I tried but I was helpless to her charms and resigned that I would sit there and die. Suddenly the band started playing their ear splitting noise corrupting our moment, corrupting the hell I knew was to come. It was not a shotgun she held. She slowly and seductively pulled a towel from the back of her red and black plaid tiny school girl skirt that left just enough to the imagination. I was transfixed as the white towel with blue striped edges was slowly pulled around her hips. She bit her lower lip and slowly dropped to a knee. She took the towel and gently wiped the beer that was dripping down my arm onto my leg never loosing eye contact, never changing the expression of a helpless little girl seeking validation all the while with cold stealith eyes staring back, the guardian to the keeper of the gates of hell.
As she wiped the beer first on my arm and then on my leg, going further than any beer would have reasonably traveled up my shorts leg. Especially since it would have had to gone up and I guess it did to some extent.
It was the first time I noticed how rough and harsh that towel really was. It was hard and felt like sandpaper. She got to her feet and did a spin so her skirt flew up in the air. It was so quick and she is truly the devil as not a thing was exposed.
This was before any of the other stuff in my last post happened and you could see just how evil she really is. There is nothing more devilish than a woman who not only is a total babe and knows it, but also studies and uses the very Pick Up Methods designed to help guys even work up the courage to talk with a women like her.
So Now onto Saturday:
My brothers wife Father died this Friday and so the story goes. My brother and his wife live about ten miles out into the county. It’s rural TN and isn’t actually a town. Jody, my brothers wife has an incredible Knack for landscaping and interiors. They have this amazing tropical 5 acre garden with a big old pool and deck. On Thursdays and when times like this call I am there to watch the pool. They also have two pugs who are family, my niece and Nephew. They are the coolest little dogs and require full time love. I mean you have to be there for them or they will get really depressed.
This is them: The boy Leo is sitting and Mattie, poor thing can’t even lift her head. They have it so rough 
So I go over there this weekend and X1 is scheduled to come by to lay out by the pool and swim. My leg is still OK at this stage. She shows up and I ask her if she needs to change. She is like Oh I forgot my bikini. OK now I’m thinking what chick drives an hour out into the country to go swimming and forgets their suit? It’s obvious a suggestion that things are going to happen. I tell her its OK and I am sure I could find a pair of shorts and t for her.
BTW I sprayed about 5-8 sprays of MX275 since it is 109 and very freaking hot.
We talk and banter and then she says she is going to go swimming and if its OK with me she’ll just go in her underwear. I tell her as long as she is clean and ask her when she last showered. More banter and then she starts to pull her shirt off and there is no bra on. Oh Heavens to Mergitrodes this babe has an incredible body and then I hear:
“Well Howdy neighbor” Neighbor? I don’t have any freaking neighbors, where in the middle of the freaking country, there’s acres and acres on either side of us and wouldn’t you believe his only freaking neighbor chooses that moment to come over for the trailer he had loaned my brother to haul the Harley on. Of all times in the world, and he had three red-neck country looking dudes with him. They didn’t get a chance to see anything as I hardly had a moment of eye contact with those tanned wonders of joyous love and all things good in the world and they were covered. Neighbor (believe it or not named Bubba) was selling the trailer and was there to show it to these guys. They were oblivious to what they had walked into.
They wouldn’t talk and one of them said it’s awfully hot out here. I said something like it would have been much hotter if you guys weren’t around. I guess they got the point as they kind of tilted their hats and yondered off. They were probably looking though holes in the fence 
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Then of course there’s the bathroom break and then everyone from the night before calls me. Then mark-in-dallas calls, then before you know it she has only half an hour before she has to drive the hour drive back to Memphis to get ready for work.
The day wasn’t a complete loss but shessh could it have gotten any worse? Whats that, it could have? You damn tootin it could have and it did? She wanted to adopt Mattie and wouldn’t put that pug down. All of a sudden my sciatic nerve kicked in while in the pool and I no longer could walk. Poor X1 she must have thought I was nuts. We had some fun and I’ll leave it up to you to figure out what happened.