Heh, that’s the approach I would take as maitre d’ …
I once had an older (almost matronly) lady serve my table at an upper-middle-end dining room. She exuded naturally, for a woman, what A314 delivers for men, heh!
She was incredible! The view was of the Chicago River, but you would have thought the table was on the French Riviera, or perhaps an exclusive spot in Zurich.
She had nuanced moves – and an intense other-directed spirit about her – and a “hospitality grammar” in everything she said. On the other hand, she had the ability to make herself invisible while moving your elbow to swab the crumbs from the tablecloth and yet not disturb you in mid-sentence.
She monitored our behavior at nearly every moment that we could have wanted her service, but never intruded herself. She could “see” from our body language and facial expressions when we actually had a question or request or need and only then materialized. She was brilliant at anticipation and had an acute sense of timing.
She was generous, not haughty – in the way an actor can be generous, giving another actor room to play off of a line. Her “hospitality vocabulary” framed the dynamics of our experience in ways that encouraged us to fully enjoy the masterpiece of table service she was delivering. In short, her behavior helped us become better customers.
I learned more about how to deliver, and enjoy, great restaurant service from her in ninety minutes than from reading for many, many hours (421 hours, 37 minutes, 16.4 seconds if thomaslavoie is reading this note) and listening to dozens of “experts” in the field of one-to-one customer connection. And she never made me feel as if I was being given remedial lessons …
Would you say there is a “submissive” pheromone that corresponds to -none? Because that, too, is part of the experience: completely willing yourself into the service of another, and making their wants and needs and comfort and enjoyment more important, more of a focus, than your own.
She was able to do that so well that she knew she deserved great respect for her skill … and her bearing and demeanor I can only describe as “dignity and grace.”
I’ve been to a lot of “top end” restaurants since, and only twice has an experience come close to the standard she represents for me.
… What’s the opposite of a rant? … A rapture? Okay … end rapture, LOL. Thanks for bearing with me.
