Ok, I’m not sure how many of you read but introduction. But to those that did thank you very much for your help and understanding of my certain situation, especially Tisha thanks for the great advice!
For those of you that didn’t, here’s a re-introduction. I’m 28 yrs old from Eastern Ontario, Canada. And yes, I’m transgendered, specifically a male to female (referred from now on as M2F). Now what exactly does that mean, you ask?! Well it means that I was born with all of the genetic marks to make my body male in its appearance and functionality. But I was also born with a female mind set. The Psychiatric Societies of the world view this more as a sociological disorder cause by our ingrained idea between men and women. Okay, thanks for the technical meaning webster, but what are you trying to say! You may say. Well, in the simplest of ways, I was born male but was supposed to be female. And no I’m not gay. Even though I prefer the company of a male mate, but that’s complicated because being TG has nothing to do with sexual preference. And if you want to know more on that, than please IM me and I’ll gladly discuss it with you!
Okay first and foremost. Terminology!
Transgendered = TG
Transsexual or Transgendered person = TS
Male to female = M2F
Gender Identity Disorder = GID (the actual name of being TG)
Being Dressed or Dressed = appearing Female
Being Drab or Drab = appearing male
being Read = being inturpretted as male while Female and vice versa
Gg = genetic girl/Female
Gm = genetic male
And as more terminology comes up I’ll add to this list!
Now more about me, and less about my afflictions! Like I said I’m 28 yrs old and it has brought me to a point that I need to be accepted more strickly as a women. But there are a few complications that I’ve run into when dealing with this issue. Mainly people around viewing me as just a effemmanite guy in a dress rather than just a really tall women (yes I stand almost 6’2" in bare feet, I know). But this view of me doesn’t change no matter how dressed I am. And no matter what type of people are around me, whether it be men, women or co-ed. Mind you each group deal with it in their own ways. Men tend to be more aggressive in expressing their disagreement, using name calling and even physical violence. Which women tend to just shun a TS and keep their verbal assault to those around while making certain the TS knows but doesn’t hear, and to some extremes violence. While a Co-ed group mainly stays to the verbal assault, a group of people can easily turn into a mob. These re-actions happen on a ranged scale depending on how much the other person has read the TS. And the scale goes from like I said violence to just knowing something is off about the person without putting a finger on it. And it’s this feeling of being read even in the slightest that can put a TS on the defensive and have them fleeing for the nearest exit as soon as we can. But remember we’re people too and we need to some of the same every day things gg’s and gm’s have to do as well.
Okay, I guess I didn’t do a great job at getting away from the technical mumbo-jumbo after all!
Okay, now that we have a little more in-depth idea on the history of what I am. I’ll try to focus this entry more on who I am. And how these relate to how I want the use of pheromones to help.
I appearance is still rather masculine, I stand at a towering height of 6’ 2" and usually weigh in at just shy of 190 lbs. I have an average build usually wearing a size 11 or 12, depending on the make and cut of the outfit. I have had to keep my masculine appearance due to the fact that I have not as of yet found the confidence to work while dressed. Plus the fact that so far in life I’ve taken jobs that keep me directly in the publics eye. Being a bartender and server. While at home I spend almost all my time dressed.
I just thought I should mention that I have tried using pheromones in the past. But they were nothing as in depth as what this site has to offer. The label just read, “female pheromones”. I didn’t notice too much of a difference while wearing them. Although the women around me tended to be friendlier and more open then men did. And I didn’t notice too much of a difference in the way that my friends treated or interacted with me. Though I wasn’t really looking for hits.
For the people around me that know that I’m TG. Wells it’s not many. simply because I"m not sure how they as individuals would re-act to the information. Of the few people that do know that I’m TG. Most seem to be quite unaffected by the information. But mind you most of those friends really haven’t seen me dressed. The one person that does see me dressed the most often and is absolutely supportive of me, is my girlfriend. And yes I have a gf. Like I said in the last post. The whole sexual orientation thing is complicated for a TS. For me I’m bi, which means I like being with the person I’m currently with. Whether they be male or female. Though in the grand scheme of things I do prefer men over women. Men give me a certain something I find I don’t get with my female partners D But mind you the bond that my gf and I share is unspeakably great. And I’d never want to give it up.
And that brings me to where I would like pheromones to help. For this chapter at least! I want to see if the pheros can help me be more confident in exposing my female side outside the security of my protective blankets. By slowly changing the undertones of my natural signature scent to one that would suggest wearing a skirt and heels to be more acceptable than jeans and a T-shirt. Plus I would love if I could bring the bond between myself and my gf closer, and not just in the bedroom. But in general, where we can literally tell each other anything and not worry! Which is, by the way, pretty much where we are anyways.
I’ve placed my first order and have even received it, already. I went with 3 items, Come talk to Me, Instant Shine and Instant Sexiness/a. I was very excited about getting the order. Seeing as how quickly it did come. Even going through Canadian Customs, which sometimes takes forever! I’m going to use a method of testing that I saw in another post called “my stupid newbie tricks” posted by Renny. But the method came from our own beloved Tisha! Here’s what she had to offer:
So I decided that since I work mostly en drab, I’d start off rather simple. And since I do work in a resturant with some minor problems in socializing. I decided to use CTTM as my first phero.
So the fun now…
Day 1,
Application Dose:
1 Spray to chest ( I know tisha said hair first, but it was just a guide line)
Noticed Effects:
I noticed almost immediately after applying the CTTM that my mood seemed to lighten. I was more willing to begin conservations with people and keep those conversation subjects light hearted. Like when I bumped into a co-work on the way to work she and I talked the entire way their about our dogs.
While at work, I was just working the bar for a private party with 3 servers tending to the tables. Rather than the usual behaviour of standing just out of conversation range the servers kept close to the service bar area, while we had time to relax. And as I joined in paid attention to what I was saying and even commented or asked questions to me.
After the short day at work, I walked home with the same girl I walked to work with, we continued talking about our dogs. But I mentioned early on that I needed to do some work on my car. By the time we reached my front door. She suddenly remembered my comment and told me her BF is a mechanic and she’d ask him if he could give me a hand with the car. We exchanged numbers and went our seperate ways. Once inside I sat down and got the usual licking til I’ve drowned greeting from my dog. My GF/roommate started talking to me about the mmo that she loves and about non important information about it. During which time my dog, btw she’s a boxer named Catti-Brie (Brie for short) wanted to play with me and only me. But she pulled every toy out like they were new and wanted me to play with her. This is unusual because she knows I like to sit and relax when I first get in and then we usually go for a walk. So she’ll just lie down until I get up and get her leash.
Later on I get a call from my coworker and her BF about the car. He cant make it over. So we arrange a time that would work for us both. but still I want to talk endlessly about things I need for the car. Without weirding him out though. After that I came in and wrote this, YAY!
Okay, to summarize; CTTM 1 spray dose to chest. I found I was more talkative and people around me were also, but more willing to let me talk.
Very commendable! Have some rep points. Well, you know you can treat yourself to a phero-baptism if something comes up - I think it mentions that in the thread. But well done for taking the disciplined route. Looks like you’re one of the people who “hit it off” with the pheros right away, and see immediate results. This does happen for some, too.
Thx ntk for the reps! I wasn’t sure that the results of Day 1 were form the phero’s or just maybe a psyco-systamic reason to wearing them. But days 2 and 3 (which the posts for are coming) are starting to point me towards a combination of the two.
I really didn’t notice too much of a difference in how people interacted with. But I had the day off of work and really didn’t do much of anything. Aside from having a friend over to help me with some work on my car, I really didn’t have too much contact with anyone. During the actual day part of the day. I did notice that I was able to chat more readily with the friends that came over, but nothing more than idle chit chat. The person I had the most contact with was my gf. And yeah she was a little more chatty than usual. Explaining what she was doing and how she was going about it. Though I can note that she did seem more/easily distracted. As for any self effects, once again I really didn’t notice too much of a difference.
Into the evening I showered and wanted to dress a little bit. I did need to go to a friends place to pick up some stuff. And I wanted to go and get some coffee for me and the gf from Timmy’s. So I reapplied the 2 sprays of CTTM and applied 1 spray of IS/a. So I had to stop at the corner store to pick something up first, and got a lotto ticket. Normally they ID me but that’s not a problem, seeing as though I’m 28. But this time they didn’t card me and the clerck even seemed uneasy, but I mainly just though it was because I didn’t go all out in my dressed appearance. So I just ran through the drive-thru at the Timmy’s and headed for my friends. This was the first time for me being dressed around this friend, but I did tell her about myself. So by the time I got to her place, I was a little anxious by still doing okay. Once there, I took off my jacket and she almost automatically told me I looked really nice and asked if I was going to be going out for the night. I wasn’t but thanked her for the compliment. We sat down and chatted about stuff for a bit, mainly just catching up, but unlike usual idle chit-chat. She seemed to be more interested in what I was saying. Our conversation ranged from a few things, work, how our respective SO’s were doing, you know catching up. But she did bring up a couple of subjects out of the blue. One that will remain between friends. But the other, as we were getting ready to take our dogs out. She suddenly pulls out a shirt from the merchandise boutique, for the resturant I work at. To show me some flaws that were starting to occur. And then we started talking about sewing, almost forgetting about the dogs for a second. Brie can be a little pushy when she wants to, LOL!
Summary: 2 Sprays of CTTM; 1 to chest, 1 to hair. Didn’t notice too much. Not really ideal conditions for a lot of results. Later in evening some results for adding 1 spray of IS/a. People seemed more interested in our conversations! IS/a added a sense of feminity to others perceptions of me.
1 Spray to Chest
1 Spray to Hair
1 Spray slit between wrist
Noticed Effects:
Okay, so today I was back on the job. I was working regular tables out on the floor. I got to work and almost immediately started up a conversation about nothing with my manager, as I helped the opener set the resturant for the day. During the opening duties, I noticed I kept things upbeat and light. Still just chatting away. Even with co-works I don’t normally chat to. One of the girls I kept joking around with walked over and pretended to punch me in the stomach. The first time she did it, the fake punch was suddenly accompanied by her saying “shot to the ovaries”. Mind you I haven’t told anyone at work that I’m TS. So I was a little taken aback from the comment, though mixed with feelings of joy about the mistake. Still managed to keep a cool exterior. Even joking about it with her. So that became a bit of a running joke between us.
As of now, nothing else is really to be noted. But the day isn’t done and I might be getting together to either go and watch the UFC fight with a group of friends or to another friends place to watch the Ottawa-Toronto game.
Summary,
Thus far. 3 sprays of CTTM, 1 to chest, 1 to hair and 1 split between wrists. Personally I was much more giddy and upbeat. Nothing could phase me. Others seemed to be giddy as well and more receptive to chat. But the day is not done!!!
Okay, yeah I know I haven’t really posted in a few days. I sorry, but a lot has gone on. So just going to summarize days 4, 5, and 6.
Day 4 of CTTM; 4 sprays (Chest, neck, hair and wrists). Didn’t notice too much of a difference between day 3. I was still fairly chatty with both the costumers and with co-workers. Nothing of real importance stands out.
Day 5 of CTTM; repeat day 2 with reapplying half way through the day. Work went relatively smoothly, wasn’t really as chatty or flamboyant as I was on day 3. After re-applying found that people were more open to purchase higher amounts of things and even going with the better quality items later on into the evening.
Day 6 of CTTM; repeat day 3 with re-applying a half dose, half way through the day. Honestly don’t really remember any of note, both in myself or in others. Not really paying attention, either though. In the evening had to go get new tires for the car. Bit of a long wait, and noticed that people slowly “warmed” up to me and started to chat. they were chatting about different things their lives and stuff like that with me. But seemed more like chats to fill the gaps while waiting to get our cars worked on.
So Day 7, I know I said I’d use this day to reflect on the week of CTTM. But at work we had a Special event going on. A gala for the Breast Cancer Foundation. So what the hell, let’s go all out. So I started out applying a full four spray dose of everything (CTTM, Instant Shine and IS/a). For the gala all the staff had to deck themselves out in the Foundations Colours, Pink. So I donned a pink gloves, a pink lanyard and a pink turtle neck sweater. OMG I thought I was going to boil, but thankfully I was working the upstairs bar and it’s usually ends up being a little colder then normal. So once I got everything set up and going I found out that we were just there to play overflow for the gala and going to be taking in walk-in guests. Oh well! But at least I was pink and probably the most dressed, I’ve ever been at work. A lot of the people, both guests and co-workers alike, thought everything as a big joke for the gala. Which it’s was, throwing out comments like “that’s a great colour on you.” And I even had one of the girls asking me were I got the sweater cause she’s been looking for a pink sweater like that one. But once again, I found the guests to be open to anything. Buying the add-ons and even even staying for more drinks then they intend on. I also noticed that my coworkers were a little more touchy with me. Playing with my pins mainly, and yes we have to wear flare at work (just like office space LOL).
So as I said, I’ve had a lot going on in the past couple of days. On thursday, we had a fire in the apartment building I live. And in the process of getting out of the place my gf suffered mild smoke inhalation and I got a sprained ankle while trying to kick down a board that was blocking the fire escape. Don’t ask long story! But all in all everyone’s okay. And no one was seriously injured. So I had a couple of days rest with my ankle "rice"d to contemplate the findings of week 1, CTTM.
To start I absolutely love this product. CTTM made me feel open to chat and little flamboyant. Even though sometimes I found it hard to stay focused and not just on the topics of conversation but just in general. This one is definitely going to be re-ordered next time.
ttfn
Alystin
P.S.
Silly me, I forgot to post my results. And those results are (drum roll plz lol) 3 sprays of the CTTM seemed to work the best. whether or not I re-apply. I found it balanced the flamboyance and the chit-chattiness with the being easily distracted nicely. As well it kept me upbeat and light mooded.
Okay, so I know it’s been awhile since I last posted. But I’ve been rather busy as of late. After the fire in the building, I’ve been cleaning up.
As for the phero use, I’ve been trying out the Instant Shine, mainly. And to be frankly honest. I really haven’t notice too much effect. Both from myself and from others. Though I have been finding it easier to go out dressed. But mind you these outings are mostly to the dog park, with Brie. And yes, they’re mostly done at night. But mind you, Brie loves the midnight run around the park. Plus it helps her get some steam off before calling it a night. Although tonight’s trip had it’s problems. Brie tossed her collar and I haven’t been able to find it and I’m afraid she did it at the park. I guess I’ll just have to go back in the morning when the sun is out to find it.
On to other things. I’ve been having a huge problem finding any results from the phero use, while dressed. Most of the time I’m not really close to anyone to see if I’m getting any hits, or if they’re helping me relay the notion that I am a women. For example, last night after coming home from the park with Brie. I notice that one of my neighbours that likes to pace around the parking lot while having a smoke, was out. I kinda want to see how things were working, when I’m dressed. But before I could even get close to him, he turned and walked away. Even going as far as to walk down the street. I’m sorry but I tried walking around to the front entrance of the building, just to let the opportunity open to actually meet him and talk to him. Even en drab we tend to just say hi to each other and go on our own ways. So I was kinda hoping that I could run into him and get a chance to meet him and properly introduce myself, in the way that I would prefer him to see me and interact with me. As a women. But like I said, he just “ran” down the street. But on the other hand, I’ve gotten together with that girl friend of mine, that I revealed myself as TG, a couple of times now. And to be honest I’ve noticed that she seems to be accepting me more as female than I expected. But I’m not sure if it’s the pheros or just the knowledge that I am TS that’s allowing her to view me more as a women.
So lately I’ve been starting to mix the pheros I’ve got to see what type of affect comes out. I’ve been using; 2 spray of shine, 3 sprays of CTTM, and either 2 or 4 sprays of IS/a (depending on whether I’m working or at home). And I’ve really taken note of the following self effects from this mixture: I’ve noticed that I tend be a lot more outgoing and chattier. As well as I’ve been feeling a little bit more confident, upbeat, I feel softer almost kittenish and just a little happier about things. So I’ve been honestly thinking about moving up towards some of the more advance products to see if they will help portray that femineness into peoples’ mind’s eye view of me. And have even thought about copulins, to really drive that nail home. Maybe even get a few digits out of it too LOL.
So yesterday, I went to see if I could find the collar that Brie tossed the other day at the park. Which I didn’t find But while at the park other people started showing up. And yes I know, they have every right to use the park as well. But since I was fully dressed, I panicked a little and kept mostly to myself. I was scared that someone would read me and take offense. But thankfully everyone just stayed to themselves. Though the little darling of a girl, that was with one of the ladies. Was absolutely adorable and running around chasing after all the dogs, kept running up to me looking at me and flashing a huge smile. When it was time for her to leave, even her mother said goodbye to me, but respected that I was comfortable talking out loud too much. But I also found that I wasn’t getting the long sideways looks from people I normally get when out dressed in public.
So once I was done at the park, I had to go to the supermarket to pick up dinner for the gf and myself. But I decided that it would be best to not have my long hair while in the store. So while waiting to get one of the roasted chicken meals packed up, I noticed a guy behind me trying to see in the display case. But he kept inching closer almost to the point that he was standing on top of me. I simply excused myself and stepped back away from the case. But so did he. God I can’t wait til I break through and am able to start chatting people up. But no amount of pheros are going to help me with that, it’s something I’ll have to get over myself.
After that it was a quick stop at the drive-thru for coffees and then home.
Okay, so I’m not certain if this note-worthy or not. But it’s something I’ve started to notice. I’ve been out of IS for a few days now, and I don’t have the cash to place my next order yet. So I’ve just been dealing with it. But I’m beginning to notice that I’ve been getting a little depressed. Life just doesn’t seem to be as bright and boisterous, as it was a week or so ago. But there are other areas that I’m just not happy with; it could be due to the winter blues (but it’s a little too early in the season for that); or I’ve been on the search for a new job, one that might be a little more geared to that of a new women entering the work force. Another thing I’ve noticed is that even with the Ishine I seem to be less confident. Especially about my appearance. Or even willing to leave the apartment while dressed. But mind you I’ve been forcing myself to. Plus I’ve noticed that I seem to need to use the washroom a little more often.
Does anyone know if these could be side effects of having to go cold turkey with the phero’s? I’m almost certain that there’s underlying issues here, but that’s kinda obvious, at least for me to see and this isn’t really the place for them.
D But mind you the bond that my gf and I share is unspeakably great. And I’d never want to give it up.
. Mind you I haven’t told anyone at work that I’m TS. So I was a little taken aback from the comment, though mixed with feelings of joy about the mistake. Still managed to keep a cool exterior. Even joking about it with her. So that became a bit of a running joke between us.
and probably the most dressed, I’ve ever been at work. A lot of the people, both guests and co-workers alike, thought everything as a big joke for the gala. Which it’s was, throwing out comments like “that’s a great colour on you.” And I even had one of the girls asking me were I got the sweater cause she’s been looking for a pink sweater like that one. But once again, I found the guests to be open to anything. Buying the add-ons and even even staying for more drinks then they intend on. I also noticed that my coworkers were a little more touchy with me. Playing with my pins mainly, and yes we have to wear flare at work (just like office space LOL).
LOL.
But while at the park other people started showing up. And yes I know, they have every right to use the park as well. But since I was fully dressed, I panicked a little and kept mostly to myself. I was scared that someone would read me and take offense. But thankfully everyone just stayed to themselves. Though the little darling of a girl, that was with one of the ladies. Was absolutely adorable and running around chasing after all the dogs, kept running up to me looking at me and flashing a huge smile. When it was time for her to leave, even her mother said goodbye to me, but respected that I was comfortable talking out loud too much. But I also found that I wasn’t getting the long sideways looks from people I normally get when out dressed in public.