Update:
You know, when I first read renny’s post (quoted above), my initial reaction was something along the lines of, “He!! no, I’m mad, BF isn’t treating me the way I want to be treated, and I’m gonna hash this out…”
But once I took a cool-off walk around the block, I saw the wisdom in this post. It would have been missing the point of V-day if I’d chosen to pick a fight about this. And if I had picked a fight, that just would have reinforced BF’s dislike of V-day. So I decided to give renny’s advice a shot.
When BF came to pick me up, he was carrying flowers. I gave him a nice hug and kiss, thanked him sincerely for the flowers, and explained that I wasn’t mad anymore and we could have a nice time tonight. Then we wound up having a long talk about the meanings of things and how our reactions to V-day varied greatly due to our understanding of what the day signified. For him, he just took the holiday at face value with the plastic hearts and whatnot… so he hates it. But once I explained how I felt about it (a day to put everything aside and just focus on each other, a day to give special “personalized” gifts that only you and your lover would understand), he warmed up a little more to it. As a future compromise, I offered to let him pick any other day of the year when we would do something like this since I don’t really care about the calendar date-- I just want a chance to celebrate us. He seemed somewhat open to that idea, but didn’t really grab onto it like I hoped he would. So the issue of significance/celebration of the holiday is still unresolved, but at least we’re ok with each other again.
Anyway, we went out to eat, and I had to concede that he had a point about the crowds. We had to wait forever for a table, even though we had reservations. Parking was impossible, prices were high, and lots of people were wearing some really tacky stuff. But the sushi and cocktails were tasty, we got a cute little “lovers table” (where they seat you side-by-side) and I could see that he was really enjoying himself by the time the evening was over.
Finally we went back to my place and I gave him a… erm… “very special” V-day present that isn’t necessarily my favorite thing on the menu but that I know he absolutely loves.
So that’s that. We seem to have survived the crisis intact. I was still a little edgy yesterday and today and found excuses to call him both days because I really just wanted reassurance.
There are 2 issues that remain, though:
(1) I would like to work out some V-day compromise that can make us both happy. I’m perfectly fine with moving it to another day of the year that he can choose, but he didn’t seem to go for it. Anyone have any other ideas?
(2) One of the reasons I was really looking forward to V-day is that I’m kinda on the mushy side and really like flowers, letters, little creative presents, and just lots of little romantic gestures. My man does a lot of considerate stuff for me (teaching me to cook, is building my new bed, comes over to my place almost all the time b/c I think his place is too cold), but I’d really like some more little romantic gsetures. Some of the guys here have posted that men hate V-day because they want the romantic gestures to be their own ideas. That would be fine… if the gestures were forthcoming at other times! But my man is apparently just not a flower-bringing, poetry-writing, window-serenading kinda guy. Is there any way to let him know how happy that stuff makes me without seeming to demand it?
What’s important to me is that he also gets what he wants. How you can get the twain to meet is the thing you need to work out. The important thing is being able to freely discuss how you both feel about it and you’ve done that.
It may be just me but I don’t need the “day”. I’d rather he bring me flowers outta the blue or run the vacuum because I’m tired. Or when I mention I can’t get to the cleaners to pick up my clothes because they close before I get off work and he goes out of his way to get them for me. I think the pastry he brings me from the bakery Sunday morning is a gift. That might not float another woman’s boat but I think it’s a sweet, thoughtful gesture that pleases me to no end. That to me is Valentines Day. These small gestures fill my heart because I know he’s simply thinking of me. Being able to find the love in the everyday things he does for me, I think that’s what makes the difference for me. In fact, it’s what makes my world go 'round. 
