I am writing this completely honestly with no bullshit, and I would like a response that possesses the same qualities.
So there is a girl that I like and have been for a while now. We were in essentially a pseudo-relationship that lasted for a short period of time at one point but at the time I did not feel ready to build a commitment. Several months later, I began to deeply regret what happened, I realized I wanted her back. Since then I have been making any sort of attempts to “break the ice” with our isolation with each other by making subtle attempts at communication. I have a very low level of confidence in myself and absolutely detest being the center of attention (I have not yet been able to bring myself to talk to her verbally, only through the internet). As time goes on I occasionally think to myself, “You know, I am just going to go up and talk to her”, but shortly after I shoot myself down as I could think it would create just an extremely awkward situation. As of right now, I believe she is in another relationship with someone else, but as I have heard, “he is a complete ass to her”, so it might not be going anywhere.
My question then is, will the application of Pheromones get me anywhere closer to where I want to be? I have extensively read through these forums, including What Pheromones Can and Can’t Do and realize that at the end of the day, it all comes down to my actions. I am not looking to spray some chemical on me that will make her want to instantly have sex with me, but I just want some interaction. I am beginning to wonder if I should just give up and realize I am just not the type of person who can get whoever I want.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated,
P. McKnight
Hey pmcknight3 welcome to the board by the way. I see you already understand the can and cant dos. Pheromones will help you in this situation but as you said its only a jump start. Like Nos to an engine. Now I would recommend Instant Shine and Ammo, but I would also recommend you check out some books with advice on how to deal with these situations.
" I am beginning to wonder if I should just give up and realize I am just not the type of person who can get whoever I want"
These thoughts are completely negative and you should start thinking positive. You said you were in a short relationship with her, thats a good start, cuz you know that she liked you before, what makes you think she still doesnt?? Dd you ask her if she was single? or talked about her relationship with that guy?
Give me a lil more detail on what goes on when you hang out with this girl and how she reacts around you…
I can respect someone who wants just the honest truth, with no BS on the side.
The answer is no.
The reason is because you can’t even talk to her face to face yet. Pheromones won’t help you in that regard. Maybe if you’re on the fence about talking to her, they might push you towards talking to her, but if you’re at a point where you have difficulty talking to her phero-free, I would address that first, before trying out pheromones.
You’re absolutely right, in the end it does come down to your actions, and while pheromones CAN help you, they will not MAKE you, as you know. I would try talking to her in person, meeting up with her and doing things, and see how that goes. If you can’t talk to her face to face, you probably can’t have a relationship with her.
That last comment about you not being the guy that gets whoever..is just..well…self-pity? I don’t know what to call it, but it isn’t realistic.
Firstly, no one, and honestly, NO ONE will ever get everyone they want. They may get 99% of whom they want, but they will never get 100%. It’s just not in the cards. And I would imagine, it’s hard to pick up a girl you see passing by the other direction on the train.
Secondly, you’re going to give up already? You haven’t even tried actually talking to the girl. Give it a shot first, then if you crash and burn, then you crash and burn. Kill the flames, dust yourself off and try again.
I understand what you are saying, and I am very grateful.
What I meant, however, is that there are some people who are just confident and stable enough to simply take risks on a whim. They seem to not care as much for potential failure. I am far from that. I put a lot of thought, you could say excess I suppose, into most of the things I do.
Well, Phya made some very valid comments. The pheromones will give you and edge but you habe to have the self-confidence to take action and then do something positive.
And do not give up on yourself untill she gives you a definite no not under any circumstances … then “kills the flames, dust yourself off and try again.”
There is nothing wrong with thinking things out beforehand, but do not let it take the place of decisive action when called for.
If you think you need to lay a little more groundwork to smooth things out, that is something you have to judge. But you can only lay groundwork for so long before you make real contact and then you will be just spinning your wheels …
