collegeO's dance class journal

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Journals
1

I’m taking a dance class this semester.

Last night I used 1 drop of a314 (jawline), 2 sprays ih (1 on wrists, one to chest), 1 spray IS (wrist), and 1 spray IG (jawline). As it’s a fairly traditional style dance class where the men lead, and an introductory class, both the guys leading and the girls following are fairly shy. I, however, am not, as my personal bubble has vanished in my travels. All the girls I danced with (ranging from probably 19-26 y/o) seemed very intimidated by me, except for one, who had far more prior experience, and seemed quite comfortable, telling me to relax (I’ve never danced, nor do I have any natural talent for dancing, so I was tense, so…). When i would apologize for messing up, she would assure me she was messing up just as much as I. As a result, I was far more comfortable. When it came time to switch partners (though I really didn’t want to, as she was hot and could actually follow in spite of my giant feet stepping on hers at times and having no rhythm, but that’s the way the class is set up), I was surprised to hear her say my name when she said goodbye to me. When dancing with the next girl, the discomfort came right back. I glanced over at my last partner and she was staring straight at me.

Any thoughts? Was I getting ioi’s? Should I be crossing my fingers that she shows up to the next class?

2

If you were tense are you sure the other girls were intimidated? Many times stand-offish means that they are less intimidated and more uncomfortable around a guy who is tense. Uncomfortable could be misconstrued that you were unsure of yourself and don;t have strong boundaries or alpha-male traits. They are not in your head so they don’t realize the uncomfortableness comes from dancing (according to what you are writing here) and most likely think you are uncomfortable around women. When you apologize you are telegraphing the same thing, that you are unsure of yourself and not comfortable around women. Its OK, you can get better.

Just remember that you don’t have to apologize for anything. Its a dance class and you are ALL there to learn. Everyone is going to make mistakes. What sets the men apart from the boys is they don’t apologize for learning. They are there just like everyone else and are very comfortable in the presence of woman. They might be the worst dancers in the world but you wouldn’t know it by looking at them. Its called confidence and they have it.

Keep at it, it takes time, but you can do it.