P97 Test #2 (Or, The Invisible Man Goes To The Supermarket)
Last night I of course took extra care to scrub my application points with a soapy washcloth, so I don’t think today’s effects are the result of residual P97 left over from last night’s OD, but it is possible.
Application
A single 15mcg spray split behind the ears, covered with a little Azzaro Chrome.
Self-Effects
An immediate wave of anxiety came over me upon applying the putative, which lasted about 15 minutes. I thought this was doubly unusual because I had finished a good workout just about 20 minutes prior, which usually puts me into a real solid state of mind.
After the anxiety came irritability and introspection. I started reflecting on some of the same general discomforts and dissatisfactions that had characterized my experience last night, but without the same desperate quality. There was more of a resolve.
I started thinking that this molecule might be helpful for things like smoking cessation, weight loss, or phobias – things where you really have to get sick of the way things are before you can fully commit to making the change. I felt mad as hell and not going to take it anymore.
I’d mostly leveled out in this feeling by the time I arrived at the grocery store, where I tried to cultivate a state of watchfulness for any reactions or interactions that might take place. I found it very difficult to focus on what I was shopping for, and ended up wandering around a lot feeling like I wanted to buy something I just couldn’t put my finger on.
Other-Effects
Everybody in that store was all up in my business. I had no personal space at all. And not in the way that you feel like people are feeling comfortable joining you in your space. It was as though I wasn’t there at all.
People were stepping out and stopping just inches in front of me. A couple of people even bumped into my cart and then did not make any acknowledgement that this had taken place. At the deli counter, I ended up having to yell my order over the heads of a few people who just didn’t seem to notice my presence at all. After a while I started to wonder if I was really there.
I started practically shouting “Excuse me” to the people who just seemed to collect in my path, and they would respond by moving out of the way (usually quite rapidly), but without looking at me or otherwise acknowledging my presence.
On the walk home my internal dialog degenerated into “fuck fuck fuck.” I arrived home still feeling just overwhelmed with bitter anxiety and general dissatisfaction, which continued as I put the groceries away. This feeling passed within 5 minutes of scrubbing my application points with a soapy washcloth.
Either this molecule just doesn’t agree with me at all, or I’m still ODing at 15mcgs. I’ll try it at 1/2 spray next time.