Basically, I lost a ton of weight..was originally 230 lbs through yo yo dieting, starvation, etc. a few years back).. i’m 148 now. (22 yrs old… 5’8’). I have some loose/flabby skin in a few areas. (Love handles, upper inner thighs). IMO I’m a good lookin guy facewise, but I have this one issue that really bothers me. I went in for a tummy tuck surgery (to tighten just the front abdominal skin) and although things turned out okay in the end, it was an incredibly scary experience (had to go in a 2nd time because of complications).. so I don’t want risk my life ever again. I’m afraid women will find my flaws to be turnoff once they see me without my shirt. I’ve been seeing some improvement over the past 6 months, but I’m afraid the skin won’t tighten back completely…(I’m lifting heavy weights..eating right.. cardio, fish oil, etc. at the moment.)
Any advice? I haven’t ever been with a girl sexually or in a physical relationship. I have this intense fear of rejection based on the appearance under my clothing. I look fine with clothes on but it’s the fear of rejection once they see me without a shirt. Would pheromones help girls feel more attracted to me despite some physical flaws I may have? A lot of you guys seem to understand women, which is why I asked.
True love is not physical. Physical aspects sure are important in attraction, but worthy attraction is based on a lot more than pure physical features.
Still, if you have success in bodybuilding/weightlifting, trust me, you’ll look a lot better and those small imperfections will be a lot less visible. I know it, because I have a friend who lost 70 pounds in 12 months and had the same problem. When he started gaining muscle mass, his appearance improved a lot. I know another guy in a similar situation.
If you need help with your “bodybuilding”, I can give you some advises, just PM me.
Also, you said you are good looking facewise. Would you prefer not having those small body imperfections but have a not good looking face?
By the way, congratulations for what you achieved (loosing all that weight)! Keep that spirit, with bodybuilding you will look great!
I don’t know about other women, every woman is different, but personally, if I like a man enough to get to know him to the point where our clothes are coming off (which is not at the first date, no matter how much I may want to), then something like that would not bother me.
If I feel an emotional closeness/rapport and am attracted to the kindness and goodness and great personality and feeling of safeness and security with him, then a small thing like that is superficial and unimportant, to me anyway.
First theres the matter of the $25. Post ur personal details in introduction thread and you get a $25 gift certificate at the store. Don’t miss out.
Second, rapport. When you are both equally comfortable with each other, of more likely, equally nervous with each other, (either is rapport. It’s when you match moods, mannerism, breathing rate, etc. When you’re both on the same wavelength) all of that will be forgiven. Or at least overlooked. That includes her faults too. We all have ‘em. A few hours together and you’ll both have a pretty good idea what’s under the clothes. And you’re still gettin’ naked? You’re in!
Passion, desire, sensuallity - it’s all in your head. Your brain and hers are sex organs that you’re really trying to get together.
Aww, you poor thing. I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. Seriously if a girl likes you sooo much, what’s underneath your clothes shouldn’t matter as long as your healthy and clean. period. Or at least to me.
Excuse my crude language, but I’ll do a guy that has a goodlookin’ face plus a cute personality over a “great media-fed body” any day.
More meat = more cushion. I like that lol
Don’t worry hun, I’m sure you’ll be fine when you meet the right girl
Well think of it this way. If a girl is turned off by it then she isnt worth the bother anyways. Every person has flaws of some kind. If she cares about you she wont care about any flaw. Most of the time people dont even notice it the same way we notice our own flaws.
Now about loose skin. For one congrats on the weight lose. Be proud of what you have accomplished.
I go to the bliss spa in NY a few times a year with my sister for a day of beauty and there are some women in there with the same problem. The ladies at bliss say over time the skin will snap back but it takes a while. Most people don’t need surgery unless they have lost over 200 to 300 pounds rapidly. The hard part is the waiting for it to snap back. It can be a big hit on a persons self esteem though so being productive and doing things to help it happen can make a person feel better about themselves and more in control.
Sindy (yes I spelled it right LOL) Its Sin for short … over at bliss says there are a few things that can speed the process up a little. They don’t work over night but she says they aid the body in snapping back faster.
Lifting weights and toning exercise help.
Brushing the skin with a soft bristle shower brush and shea soap or using sugar or salt scrubs in the shower are good. This stimulates the collagen and elastin production in the skin which is what makes our skin tighten some.
If you don’t have a problem with caffeine using a caffeine soap will tighten you right up but it doesn’t last more then a day.
You could also invest in Dr Perricones light renewal system. Its for wrinkles and fine lines but it also stimulates collagen and elastin production so it can help loose skin snap back faster. Its really expensive though but my sister has one and its awesome. She looks ten years younger. I want one for my birthday and already have been leaving hints LOL
Here is a link, Its not a affiliate link I don’t get anything for referring you but I figured you can take a look.
Whoops I forgot to mention mones LOL. Mones will help enhance attraction and communication. They help you get your foot in the door but they dont change a person so if you do meet a person who is shallow and judges others flaws they wont change her. Thats actually a good thing because you dont want a shallow women. You want one who loves you just the way you are.
Seriously, there are more important things than looks. We are all self-conscious about our looks, I have rarely met anyone who was completely comfortable in their own skin. I would definitely go for the guy with the kind, attentive personality and the less-than-perfect body more than the jerk with the bod. That type of person doesn’t attract me at all.
I personally can forgive a serious amount of love handles and whatever else if there are cut shoulders and arms. That is my major downfall, I love to watch the muscles ripple in a guy’s shoulders and arms. We all have little quirks like that. You’ll never know what exactly turns a girl on until you meet her and ask her.
Congratulations on your weight loss. That is a big achievement, and you should feel proud.
It all depends on the type of girl you are trying to attract.
A nose stuck high supermodel would likely be out of your league, and would shoot even the nicest of guys down.
Whereas a nice well rounded girl would worship you, with or without pheromones.
A good positive self image, confidence and a good attitude, will go far with any woman. Remember women can smell the fear pheromone and will crush you if you show any signs of weakness. (kidding)
Pheromones will help some, but the woman still has to be slightly attracted to you first. Think of Pheromones as an amplifier on a stereo. If the music is crap then you just get louder crap, but it is playing a good tune is that much better.
Pheromones will help you get noticed, deepen a relationship by adding to relaxation and openness or enhancing sexual reactions.
Pheromones will however not turn a Lesbian supermodel into your love slave.
Congratulations on your weight loss, and keep up the good work.
Put a smile on your face, and say hi to a lady, and remember rejection is part of finding the right relationship. It will not kill you, it may make you hurt, but only a mean person not worthy of being in a relationship with will set out to hurt people.
Underneath Your Clothes
You’re a song
Written by the hands of god
Don’t get me wrong cause
This might sound to you a bit odd
But you own the place
Where all my thoughts go hiding
And right under your clothes
Is where I find them
Underneath Your Clothes
There’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
Because of you
I forgot the smart ways to lie
Because of you
I’m running out of reasons to cry
When the friends are gone
When the party’s over
We will still belong to each other
(Chorus)
Underneath Your Clothes
There’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
I love you more than all that’s on the planet
Movin’ talkin’ walkin’ breathing
You know it’s true
Oh baby it’s so funny
You almost don’t believe it
As every voice is hanging from the silence
Lamps are hanging from the celing
Like a lady to her good manners
I’m tied up to this feeling
Underneath Your Clothes
There’s an endless story
There’s the man I chose
There’s my territory
And all the things I deserve
For being such a good girl honey
first, your young,you’ll tighten up in time.
how do i know?
i have had 2 kids.
im only 5’1" .
i dont exercise (and im much older!) and my tummy is tighter than most gals i know without kids.
just gave it time.
im not a believer in “products” .
if it aint fun, i dont do it.
enjoying life does something to your body-chemistry and gets your healing juices flowing. truely enjoying life shows on the outside,always,eventually.
second, i used to work with this gal.
she was a bartender and a longtime manager of this neighborhood pub.
when i tell you she was beautiful,
i mean scary-pretty.
not that everyone isnt;
i just mean super-photogenic gorgeous.
we became friends and her and her boyfriend who were getting married began having me and my SO over for dinner and boardgames.
we talked about how they met, and they confided that they were friends a while back when he was significantly overweight.
he needed a wheelchair because his weight was an issue and she often helped him.
he lost all the weight and they ended up getting married.
since his weight was an esteem-issue,
it took him losing the weight to ask her, but she was always there.
bottom line here is that not only are physical flaws a bigger deal to the person experiencing the percieved flaws, but dare i say
its probably a bigger deal to the whole male gender as a whole.
i could be wrong.
my experiences watching social-interaction for most my life tell me otherwise.
lol
… over at bliss says there are a few things that can speed the process up a little. They don’t work over night but she says they aid the body in snapping back faster.