“I’m slowly changing. Not because that’s who I wanna be, but because I want you apart of me.” Your sig quote kinda made me melt a little. But don’t tell anyone…
Anyway, yeah its kinda strange, I think most people have the capacity to be at least above average in appearance. After all, we’re here right, after however many hundreds of thousands of years of selective mating…
I see that more and more each day, everyone is beautiful in their own right, even if its buried under stress, age, weight, or what have you. I’ve seen many people light a fire under their own ass and after a few months of sweat and positive thinking, (and maybe a little nip tuck), emerges a sexy golden god(dess). Just blows the mind sometimes.
I was a fat kid. Somewhat recently I got convinced to work on myself and I’m doing better in that department. But, ya know, my life hasn’t really changed that much. Its just a small part of the equation. I’m still the same person. I have more superficial people in my life now. Whoop-de-do. I think I enjoyed myself more when I was fat, cause I didn’t worry about how I looked 
I think that in the end, everyone gets what they really want. The artist in me awakened and started craving what it did, and I really wanted it and I got it.
Ever play the lottery, and really start wanting and hoping and dreaming…and then get hit with doubts? Even for just a moment, its there. I just buried those feelings or fought them off, but ya know what, as much as I hate to admit it, I really didn’t feel like I deserved it.
I’m sure there’s people out there who could really feel like they deserved it, but they’re too busy helping others or building great ideas to be concerned with instant gratification, they’re already getting all they want out of life.
Seems to be a theme in my life. I get a burning desire for something, and I find an answer. A book, a recipe, a tea, a dream, a job offer, a methodical system of magical thinking, a bottle of pheromones, etc. I would be very hard pressed to say I’m unique in that respect.
And ya know what I saw in the mirror…someone living life on their own terms. Thats priceless. That something unique and mystical that comes to us in as many ways as there are people.
I’m living a dream. I talk to my friends with a Star Trek-ish flip phone, a machine does my laundry, makes my coffee, a screen instantly shows me about anything I could wish to know that exists in the world, I buy stuff with monopoly money, I make monopoly money by pushing a plastic tool and clicking buttons.
In a world like this, being able to feel like an animal is so rare, so priceless, and so strange. Hell, they even slice off precious sexual animal bits off for hygiene nowadays. And no one thinks twice about it! The more I think about it, the more I think our world is this weird, perfectly mechanical dream that is powered off of soul, and running out if it fast.
I can drop my shorts all day long, and every time they will accelerate at 9.8 meters per second squared. But I don’t know anyone who would call our world a perfect world. But it is. Everything is predictable and sequential. But you can’t prove perfection, just like you can’t improve it. It goes on forever.
But as every moment is destroyed and a new one is created, what lingers is what the world didn’t take away from us, our animal nature, our soul. It can fly away but the beast is always hungry…
Anyway, so goes my thoughts while meditating and huffing A314.