I’m just curious because I went to a small college football party tonight with a few friends. Fives guys and two girls. I wore some Instant Shine just to test it out. I used one squirt in my hair and one on each wrist. The girls were very open and seemed super relaxed around me and this was the first time I had ever met them. They were VERY friendly. One of my friends had hung around me all night. I had accidentally dumped my Dr. Pepper on the floor and the dude went off on me. I mean, almost wanting to fight me. This is strange because he’s very very quiet, shy, and well reserved. Everyone was shocked, even me because he’s one of my best friends and it wasn’t a big mess at all. He didn’t talk to me the rest of the night. I’m beginning to wonder if the IS did it to him.
No he did it to himself. He and he alone is responsible for his behavior. You give IS far too much credit. The fact that he lost his cool is a coincidence. IS is no more responsible for his bad behavior than a sudden downpour or wind gust after you applied IS. Perhaps he was tired and had a bad day. Maybe he was jealous of you hogging the female attention.
Incidentally, IS’s effects tend to be subtle. Often you don’t notice anything whatsoever out of the norm. However, it never encourages or suggests hostile behavior. Instead it makes you appear a little more attractive and upbeat. Futhermore, it does not disable freewill or social structure. People influenced by any pheromones, not just IS, are fully in control of their facilities and have no excuse for bad behavior. A pint of beer is a far more powerful influencial agent–and it’s mild at best–and drinking is legally and socially no excuse for bad behavior, nor does it invalidate your responsibility for your actions. He was just being a dick.
All right! Interesting field report. Thanks for taking the time to write it up.
My working hypotheses on the case (as you describe it) would be
- Gegogi’s position: he had a bad day/hour and was a dick (perhaps he hung out around you wanting to talk to you about a problem or to help him get out of his neg mood), 90%
- The Instant Shine effects on you or on the females left your friend – one of your best friends – feeling excluded (assuming you did not confide your phero experiment to him and he sensed something ‘different’ and felt like you were keeping a secret from him), 6%
- The Instant Shine had an affect on your friend – sexual arousal, and he connected this to you, which caused him approach (attraction) / avoid (anguish, confusion) conflict, 3%
- Something else, 1%
You might try having a conversation with your friend, just check in with him, see how he is doing, before you apply the IS next time you will be out and he’ll be there; you’d then have a non-phero data point on whether he’d had a bad day or not.
You might also see if there’s any way to “share the halo” with him so that he can also enjoy the good feelings of the ladies that are positively affected and see if that bucks him up.
Or you can just go with your gut and explore, heh!
Cheers,
MarkL
PS: There are times when it’s almost irresistable to display a “there’s something I know that you don’t know” expression, posture, or behavior when you notice pheros hitting in a major positive way. Even subtle signals of that variety could trigger a WTF! pissed response, especially if the individual does have solid subconscious awareness of your phero use, or if the person is a bit jealous about your friendship.
You said he is one of your best friends; perhaps you ARE his best friend, and he senses the inequality of power inherent in that relationship.
He is probably just having a bad day or is upset about something. It could be as the guys mention you were getting all the attention and he felt left out.
The only way to really know is to ask him at a later time when he is feeling better or wear it around him again and see how he reacts to it.
Tisha
Without knowing you or your friend and based entirely on my own experiences, I would rate MarkL’s hypothesis two as being more likely to be applicable than he does. Plausible, really pretty likely rather than possible but not very likely.
Pheros can certainly create problems with jealousy (with guys! I hate to think what kind of problems it creates in female peer relationships!), and this can become worse as you pursue a path of personal growth. I think this is a topic that has been underexplored, so rep for bringing it up. It’s amazing the roles we play and the dynamics that occur in relationships, even if we are unaware of most of this stuff at a conscious level.
Five guys and two girls and (unusually) the girls are super in to you and your friend is perhaps kind of feeling like you have stolen his spotlight. It’s not shocking he should be a bit grumpy.
Well from a previous post of yours you said that you have dated 9 or 10 hooters girls and that you are 26, attractive and in good shape. The Instant Shine, I’ve noticed, can make one seem even more physically attractive than they are (as well as the more commonly known effects like the mood lift and the reduction in personal space). Also Instant Shine can make one more expressive.
If the guy lashed out at you it may be because he was just having a bad night and nothing to do with Instant Shine like some of the others said. On the other hand, the combination of the extra friendliness you were getting from the ladies on top of you being good looking and smooth with ladies, may have pushed him over the edge in terms of jealousy. Also the extra expresiveness that Instant Shine can bring out may have resulted in this guy who is usually very quiet, shy, and well reserved, lashing out.
-Visionary
also, IS makes one a little oblivious socially - see old MHarris posts on this topic. so you might have missed some early warning signs.
observe
observe
observe
It is dangerous to discount observed behaviors because of a preconceived notion of what a particular pheromone does. They affect different people differently. People may have learned associations with natural pheromones and that may cary over into their reactions to your mix. The social environment might influence their reactions.
Generalizations are useful, but we should not forget what they are or they become cumbersome and misleading.
Any unusual behavior you experience while wearing pheromones should be put into the file and carefully considered. If experiences are discounted as “He’s just being a …” then you will quite likely miss important data.
Pheromones don’t cause or even influence every behavior. However, every behavior should be considered for that possibility.
I have to disagree with this generalization. A pint of beer can cause severe effects in many people, particularly borderline alcoholics and certain other personality types. I personally know several people who become very edgy and even angry when drinking small amounts of alcoholic beverages. I, on the other hand, usualy just get sleepy after two or three (except in the case of Pizza!)
Pheromones are subtle but powerful chemical markers, and certainly everyone has a different reaction, as evidenced by the many messages here. It is possible that he was influenced by something in the IShine.
I do agree, though, that each individual must be responsible for his or her own actions regardless of outside influences, perceived or not.
Well, I dunno if he was having a bad day. He seemed fine when I got there and he’s not the type to ever blow up. I’ve known him for 3 years and he has never blown up before. It’s extremely rare for him to ever show emotion in general and then to just go off on me like that was very weird.
You may get some very good information if you ask him how he was feeling and what he was experiencing that day. You can just mention that you’ve been thinking about the incident because it was so unusual, and would like to talk to him about it. You needn’t mention pheromones. He may be willing to share what he was thinking and feeling.
If you are able to get such information please share it here.
I’d echo GWTW’s position: observe.
And remember that asking him to talk about what happened is probably the least reliable / accurate source of information unless you’re just sifting for clues to further refine your observations.
I think Mark’s right. Most guys, after having a bitch fit, would never admit to jealousy or emotional distress. If he’s a guy whom rarely shows emotion, it’s even less likely he’ll expose his weakness, especially in front of another man. Plus he probably figures if you’re so lame not to understand hoggin’ the goodies is inconsiderate, it’s useless anyway.
if uve being friends for 3 years, then u have a right to ask him " he man whats up wif the other nite and u lashin out at me" for an explanation… he should have apologised already at least if it was just an instant shine effect on him… otherwise if not then he must b angry at u 4 for some other reason and lashed out on u at that particular nite 
I have never had anything bad happen like that with instant shine. I’ve only found people to be more friendly. It had nothing to do with IS. Your friend was just out of it that day.
I agree with that position very much so I’m having very atypical results with IS myself. Its more like instant sleep so far but I keep trying. So far every time its been spray zzzz. spray zzz. Then again I like sleeping so maybe its just over associated with being happy? no idea. another notable mention is the 3rd? day I was trying IS I myself ended up in a rather foul mood for no apparent reason. I just wanted to punch something. I’m generally fairly mellow left to my own devices. Major snuggle bug.Curious.. Does your friend smoke? Maybe that has something to do with the weird IS reaction I smoke djarums myself.