Hello,
I’m going to go straight to the point. First of all, you have probably read a lot of stuff about seduction, but have you read all the necessary material ? As I have said before, inner game is a cruacial step to making the first crucial step since it makes you realize that no matter what, you shouldn’t get your feelings involved. Example : you open up a girl, she rejects you, your self confidence takes a huge kick in the ass, you can’t stop thinking about it , about how it went wrong, seeing it all in your mind, how you’re not able to do it, how it is all bullshit and blah blah blah. All some people do is bring themselves down.
Now, as we know, guys tend to be very rational about a lot of things, even feelings. Since we are rational, then let’s rationalize the fear of approach and rejection for a minute here.
Fear of approach is due to the fact that we tend to SEE how it’s all going to play out. We actually see ourselves approaching and start thinking about what we’re going to say, how we’re going to say it… it’s as if we are preparing some kind of character in our mind that we will play in front of the other person and we do see how it all plays out. BAD BAD BAD MINDSET. Projecting yourself in the future means that you are not living the moment. You are simply fast forwarding the now moment and your conscience is kind of preparing you to what you have to do next. What happens during all this time is that you start to become more and more anxious and start seeing the other person as a person of higher value thus, according value to someone without the slightest proof that the person has such value. We are putting that person on a plateau and acting as if we have to climb that plateau. Is this rational in any way shape or form ? NO, it isn’t, it is all imagination, and imagination most of the time has this thing against rationnality LOL
As we all know, you have to talk to a person to know a bit about their personnality and who they are. Have you ever met a girl that is drop dead gorgeous but once you talk to her you realize that, boy, she has issues and is quite f***** in her head (sorry for the slang) ? That means simply that even gorgeous girls might have issues, might be weird, also they might be just plain normal but with nothing about them, no attractive element whatsoever… Beauty and status are tow different things, and beauty and personnality have nothing to do with each other most of the time (thats what Hollywood has f***** up for a lot of people).
How to get over this anxiety ? As Mystery says : you’re the bait, you’re the one to get, the one that has value and the person to be fun to hang around, not them. Do not expect for people to make your day or change your mood or influence you. It goes both ways once you know how to do it. YOU have to make your own fun, you have to be fun and playful and interesting no matter what where or what you’re doing, be the one that is laughing (not necessarily blasting himself off at everything that is being said, simply have that smile on your face as much as you can. In the beginning it will seem awkward, then it becomes part of you and it ends up cheering you up. Start with a big smile when you open your eyes in the morning. For example, I woke up this morning and the weather is shit BUT I still had this big smile in my face and thought : A lot of people I know are going to complain about this weather and just get so affected by it that they will be sad for that only reason. HAHA, that’s so true but so stupid at the same time, being sad because of the weather! What has the weather ever done to you to be sad ? I mean come on, rationalize please. who cares if the weather is bad, or if it rains since this is MY day and I’m not going to skip the slightest moment of it.) You know what happens when people start skipping some days in their mind because of the bad weather, a bad experience or whatsoever ? THEY END UP SKIPPING THEIR LIVES.
Now, to open someone or a set you simply open. You don’t think about anything but something occasional and go for it, don’t go in the expectations arena and never ever ever play it in your mind before because you are going to flake most of the time if you do this.
Have no expectations at first. Get your imagination off the ring and simply be here, in the moment.
You know, there is a voice in our head talking and talking and talking, non stop. That is the voice that makes you freak out by what it says just before approaching someone. It starts saying this and that, and that maybe you should’nt, or maybe it is not the right time or that you are probably going to make a fool of yourself… it is not helping you in any way. It is trying to protect you since it is its job, yes, but from what ? Rejection ? And so what if you get rejected by 5 girls, or 20 girls or even a 100 girls ? Who cares ? What are the real consequences of a rejection ? Are you going to get beat up, are you going to lose a part of your wealth, or you family ? NOPE. Actually, what you are really losing is a part of your time. Your time being precious, you just “gave” those minutes to someone who didn’t want them. Not a big loss from my perspective, simply something you gotta give in your way.
That voice, you don’t really control it and know this because sometimes it surprises you with what it says and what it says is quit irrational sometimes ( it just says some stupid things sometimes).Also, that voice is either talking about the past and what was bad about it, or the future by projecting you to a false future time that has not arrived yet. It rarely talks about the moment and when it does it is rarely positive. BUT, ask yourself, are you that voice ? not really. You are the one listening to that voice. So, whenever you feel like it, you just order it to stop since it is not helping you. You make it stop. Most of the time that voice talks stupid, why let it do so, specially when it does not even help in what you are trying to do ? At first it will feel weird, as if you are not actually thinking, as if your thought just stopped. But you know it is false because your conscience felt that moment, it lived it. Not only that, but for that fraction of a second when your inner voice stopped talking, you became more alert, more in the moment. You simply were living the moment. Your conscience does not talk, nor does it analyze things in depth. all it does is exist now, not in the past or the future but now. It is like the lens of a cd player. It stays put, and time goes by around it, while it sucks in the experience…
The voice not being your conscience, you can realize and have done it before by simply laughing at it. Sometimes you catch yourself laughing for something it said that was just plain stupid…
If you are not able to make it really stop completely, you can also let it talk but kind of ignore it by lowering it’s volume (yes it is possible and you know it). Let it be there but in a whisper mode… it will end up shutting up itself. Now, I am not saying that the voice is bad. It helps you plan your future and deal with past problems and a lot of other things. But, a problem in your past or something bad that happened yesterday, you think about it once, see what went wrong, and stop thinking about it. Why think 40 times about how someone for example insulted you or an argument you had? Think about it once or twice, throw it away in your past and that’s it. Don’t relive it over and over and over. Logically speaking, it makes no sense doing that. As for the future : project it once or twice, have some lines you will follow that means have a dream but never forget that success is a journey not a destination. So if you’re thinking about the house with the big Mercedes two kids and a gorgeous wife, think twice. That is a destination. If you get there, what NEXT ? Nothing next. Instead, appreciate every step you’re doing to get where you want, appreciate every moment. I have been told that life passes by in the blink of an eye. My grandfather was right, life is too short. It is a process of transformation of your body, but mainly of your soul, your inner self. It is not trying to reach a destination. “Nothing is lost, nothing is created, all is transformed.” : Lavoisier. Well, I mean, what is there more to add to Lavoisier ? He says it all, there’s no destination, only a journey, a “transformational” journey… lol
Thanks for reading,
DIGGER
