Since I’ve been wearing pheromones for the past month(ish) I have practiced paying attention to the signals i put out to others. I watch people’s expressions and body language, tone, while watching my reactions closely. I’ve come to some conclusions as to why I have been intimidating and hard to approach.
First most obvious reason is that I am very task oriented. I immerse myself deeply into whatever I’m focused on. I’m also very goal oriented. I can focus on a project that takes years to build, 23,000+ tiny steps that are not in chronological order, wrap my brain around complex concepts and remain completely organized , engaged and motivated to the end.
When people approach me to socialize I feel like I have to slow down, put everything down ( mentally) and wait patiently for them to finish chatting. I’m not much of a people person when I’m in focus mode. 90% of the time I’m in focus mode.
Over the years of working and crunching my brain I’ve slipped into constant autopilot mode. Automatically anticipating surface chatters. I stopped giving people a window to talk/connect with me because so many times they never engaged my interest.
So what does that mean for me?
I’m a workaholic who has only a few very close friends, and i have unusual interests. Even for my gender my interests are odd. I can take care of my own vehicles in the garage, fix and build my own computers, I lift weights, am into guns and don’t like shopping unless it has to do with any of those subjects. But I dress like a sexy classy lady and can cook well. Lol
Making and keeping friends is hard for me. Partly because of the above reasons and partly because I’m not motivated to try too hard. And ladies my age just don’t click with me.
So each time I have worn pheromones, I learn new things about myself and others.
Here’s what I learned :
People really want to connect with me. They have tried relentlessly over the years but I wasn’t paying attention. If I give them a window they leap through.
Sometimes I don’t catch them and they face flop on the ground. Sorry, learning here.
The pheromones have taught me to be aware of / anticipate windows appearing. After some awkward reactions and fumbling on my part, I learned how to react in a socially proper way, as well as occasionally throwing some windows around myself !
Bit by bit I am getting closer to others. A deeper bond is forming. People feel more appreciated and loved by me, and I also feel the same from them. I’m more in the moment , slowing down, listening more instead of just being a crunching machine.
Today I didn’t wear any pheromones at all. If someone had sprayed a placebo on me I would have thought it was loaded with the pheromones I’ve been using. That is how much work I’ve been putting into paying attention and proof that the work “stuck”. I suppose I now believe that pheromones are merely a lubrication. I love pheromones and will continue to wear them as they are my teachers. They make it easier for me to learn, have fun, explore, relax a bit, experience new perspectives and adventures.
And when I get funny hits , man they are so worth it !
My adventure into studying pheromones has only just begun. I am excited to continue my fun and educational journey !
C’mon fedex !! Bring me my package already !!! Lol
Love~
Kitti