I’m going to be meeting up with a girl I know has had strong feelings for me in the past. I think she may still do so. She gives some signals but communication can be difficult: When we meet she goes from talkative and happy to seemingly annoyed in the space of 10 mins. I still have some feelings for her.
I want her to get her feelings out though there is risk in either of us doing this if it’s not mutual. So I’m looking for a mix to emphasise the feelings and attraction and with a sexual kick. What do you recommend? Bear in mind -none gives me a headache (mx301 makes me feel woozy!)
I’m currently contemplating:
50mcg P86
10mcg P83
4 sprays of IH 2x
What do you think? Get feelings out with IH (she can be guarded so high dose), crush / visual enhancement of P86 and the “act now” of P83. Doses good?
It sounds pretty good pheromonally to me, especially the IH. Maybe up the dose of p83 (which in my experience is where the “crush” feeling comes from, NOT the p86, but we all get slightly different experiences from the same mones I suppose.) The problem with p83 is it can create the nervousness of the crush, which can create a communication PROBLEM, which is why its good you keep it at 10-20mcgs imo, that should be fine.
The main problem I have is that you are waiting for HER to come out, and pheromones obviously aren’t going to fix that seeing as its pretty clear that SHE is waiting for YOU to say something, not the other way around. So SAY IT ALREADY!!! I know I might sound like a jerk for that, because I don’t have to worry about the bad end of that, but TRUST ME FROM EXPERIENCE, the bad end and awkwardness from having said that in a friendship and it not being mutual is MUCH LESS BAD than the bad end and awkwardness that comes from NOT SAYING IT. SO SAY IT! You wanna know why she seems annoyed? Its cause she’s trying hard (or as hard as she deems ethical, depends on how far she’s willing to go before the guy makes a move) for 10min. to get you to notice her and her feelings, and then seeing as she’s known you for a while and probably KNOWS you like her too, she gets tired of giving those signals and getting none back, despite the fact that she probably deep down knows you like her, she will begin to question it if you don’t show it OPENLY. And if she begins to question whether you like her, she’ll also question whether she SHOULD like you, whether you’re worth the time and effort, because she can probably get some guy who WILL show his feelings in much less time and with much less effort. BASICALLY, by not responding to that first 10 minutes, you are REJECTING HER DAILY, or however often you see her. Girls may not as often have to deal with the big obvious rejections that guys do, but all the mini rejections day after day can add up just as easily, especially since they pick up on it much better, and many (not all) tend to make bigger projections of what it means. So do yourself a favor:
STOP REJECTING HER BY WORRYING THAT SHE’LL REJECT YOU!!!
And on top of that, I HIGHLY doubt rejection, if that is indeed what you recieve, will be what you think it is, as she’ll understand that you’ll move on, and then you’ll be great friends again. IN FACT, I have doubts there will even be much of a riff formed by laying it all out, if any. Now obviously try to be a bit tactile in saying it, but DO NOT STRATEGIZE TO THE POINT OF WORRYING YOURSELF, AS SOON AS THE STRATEGIZING BECOMES TOO INVOLVED, STOP. I have had this happen twice this summer with my best friends, and there hasn’t been the least bit of a problem. The riff was literally over in minutes both times. I stayed a bit clingy and weird the next few days which they noticed, but nothing serious, and then the normal thing happened:
in the knowledge of how she feels and the knowledge that guys are the one thing girls hardly ever change their mind about, I GOT OVER THEM. As a crush. I still call the one every night, in fact we are much closer now that I got that out of the way.
So if you don’t remember anything else from this post: REVERSE YOUR STRATEGY, MAN UP (she is looking for that man who’ll make the first move in you through her actions) AND TELL HER!!! The IH should make it both easy for you to tell, and for her to receive that bit of info, as well as for her to tell you how she feels, and for you to receive THAT info.
Oh and the more of a problem you have with telling her (I know, it can be hard), the less p83 you should use for your sake, BUT the more easily you think you can tell her (if all you needed was my previous post) then up the p83 a bunch, I personally would go to maybe 50mcgs, but I have a high tolerance for the nervousness it brings, and social nervousness in general. The reason I say this, is that WHEN you tell her, it’ll bring more of that crush telling you their feelings giddiness, which will be PERFECT situationally. P86 I haven’t tried in NEARLY that high of amounts… but from reading it seems to create a relaxed vibe as much as it does the good-looking thing, which depending on how its taken could be bad. If she is totally cool and relaxed and not unnerved or more excited about you telling her or asking her on a date, then that would be bad. I don’t THINK it would counterbalance things in a really bad way, but hopefully another user of p86 will pipe in and tell us. I did think I heard somewhere that while that “cool” feeling is usually really good, too much takes the intensity/intimacy/excitement out of things, although I’m not sure. Its just as possible I’m making that up subconsciously. I haven’t used it in high enough mcgs really to know.
Wow. Thanks for taking the time to write so much. That’s amazing. The risk is we’re both with other people right now but unhappily so. We also move in the same circles a lot and I see her man around a lot (but rarely see them together and she’s never met my partner). I’m just nervous she rejects me because I’ve totally misread things and then I have to see them around and that’d be awkward.
She always tells me about he monthly cycle too - what does that mean? Last four times we’ve met she’s told me she’s just had it, is about to, or is on it. At the moment she just had it she says!
Thats rough man, I didn’t know about being in other relationships, but I still reccomend the same advice, even though that’s harder than I thought. Its the best path.
And unless she’s just really weird, theres only 2 legitimate reasons for a girl to tell you she’s on her period (like I said, unless they’re pretty damn weird):
So you know when to be super man
So you know when to have sex
Either way its looking good for you, just have some confidence in that fairly clear sign. Also, as Steve says, if you want to have anyone to think well of you, you must first think well of yourself. Thats not quite how he says it (he says it much better) but you get the idea. If you wanna be in a relationship with her, don’t act like you are worried about rejection, as that sends the signal that maybe you SHOULD be rejected to her, and she just doesn’t know why yet. Confidence is key. And don’t act like that guy bothers you too much, because that can show that he is a threat. Now of course don’t be unrealistic. DON’T MASK fear with fake confidence, just gain a genuine confidence. Not cockiness, confidence. Not ignorance, confidence. So that doesn’t mean you totally get rid of your emotions of worry about the situation (if you are too cool, it shows you don’t care for her at all), far from it!!! Merely ALLOW your emotions for HER to trump your emotions of fear, nervousness, and awkwardness. Then you can tap into some confidence that is REAL, and not just REAL, but REAL FANTASTIC. My friend and I have a name for when you are realistic with your confidence and it comes from something real: cmf mode. COCKY MOTHER FCKER mode. Because when I had the job of my dreams, and everything was perfect (in part because of my attitude towards things, not because things were perfect at all really, just my perception of them. They were pretty damn good, but I had my issues, I just dealt with them well.) a couple of guys (on different occaisions) just flat out told me "You know, you’re one cocky mother fcker," and without even thinking because of the mode I was in, I responded “I know.” Why? Because I REALLY DID KNOW, because my confidence was based on solid, real things, INCLUDING my limitations, not just my lack thereof.
Hope that helps, and really hope for the best for you, thats tough, but I HAVE confidence in you. The question will be, will YOU have confidence in yourself and in the situation: that it’ll be ok.
Also, what I said about how she gets difficult to communicate after about 10 mins, its probably still true, but there might also be the factor that around 10 mins her conscious mind catches up to what her subconscious mind has been telling her, and doesn’t like it because the situation is complicated, but you telling her will uncomplicate things a bit, and get them out in the open where both you and HER can deal with them. Her problem might be (in part) that she realizes she’s going for you, but can’t while she’s in a relationship, and thus doesn’t know what to do, especially if she doesn’t know for sure you’d be in a relationship with her were she to break up with her current man. If she isn’t sure, thats a really desperate and unsafe move to break up with him without knowing if she’ll have you, and even if she really hates who she’s with right now in comparison, she’ll probably stay with him a good bit longer if she doesn’t have the reassurance and safety of being in another relationship. So give her that reassurance and safety, and see what she thinks of it. Even if due to complications it doesn’t work out, from the sound of it, I garauntee she’ll at the very least be very flattered, and if she is at least flattered, I doubt it’ll be awkward between you, and you will probably still have a chance in the future.
edit: Not just a chance, in fact that will possibly improve your chances because you’ll be the first one she thinks of if and when she is single again, because of what you told her. So no matter how this goes down, if you tell her, it will be a win and the best move in the end. Hopefully that helps,
Flight
Awesome advice. If I could tell you every conversation we’d ever had you’d be even more certain - she’s asked if my partner minds us meeting up and so on.
I’m always happy to help.