Is an invitation to sleep over with the stipulation that there will be no sex a shit test or a simple invitation?
Invitation, a shit test is not something friendly with a disclaimer. It’s actually quite likely that she just enjoys your company but doesn’t want you to read too much into it. Although it is slightly possible that she’s interested, and is actually thinking about the possibility of sex but doesn’t want to appear easy or slutty.
A shit test is totally different. A shit test is when a woman will try to see if she can lower your relative value, or see if you’re congruent with the value you communicate with your demeanor. Some examples of shit tests are
Asking you to hold her drink or some other object while she leaves you standing there for a while (usually because she wants to go say hi to somebody else)
If you do it, you failed.
Slight verbal jabs directed at you in front of a group. IE You’re participating in a conversation and she makes a comment that’s dismissive or somewhat mocking about an opinion you just expressed. If you suddenly clam up like you were put in check…fail, if you lose your temper and retort with an insult…fail, if you continue talking without even a pause as though she never said anything…good, if you stop and tell her that you forgive her rude behavior and will chalk it up to either the booze talking or her not being used to participating in polite conversation, she will be infuriated, but your value will be preserved. (and from experience I can tell you that it is very possible to still create attraction with her even after a shot like this)
Now, as you can see these are attempts at getting you to lose your cool and display beta traits or create a dynamic where your value seems lower than hers. (it’s not deliberate or conscious, she instinctively needs to test you to make sure you are what you seem…it is in fact a very strong IOI) But compared to inviting you over with the disclaimer that there will be no sex…well I wouldn’t consider that a shit test, but I would consider it a mild IOI with an IOD calibrator that you can turn into an opportunity to create more attraction and comfort and eventually escalate to a sexual relationship.
Just out of curiousity, if she asked you to hold her drink while going to say hi to someone and came back and you had drank it. Would that be a pass or fail? I’ve never done that but when you were describing scenarios that popped into my head.
lol yanno that’s actually a tough one. I can see it playing out a number of ways depending on how tight your game is.
The bad results are you temporarily lowered your value in her eyes by agreeing to hold her drink, and then made yourself out to be a jerk by drinking it. At which point you can either shrug it off to maintain your value, or buy her a drink to make up for it which could lower it again.
Now the good possibility would be that you can flip the tables and use a tactic that Vin Dicarlo calls “Dirty Compliance” which is essentially reframing an action that was not intended to benefit you as something that was. IE if a girl is dressed nice, you pretend as if she dressed nice just for you, if you visit her house and it looks clean and neat, then you act as if she cleaned the place up just for you aaaaaand if you drink a drink she handed you, you thank her for being generous and compliment her on being so liberated/modern that she’s not ashamed of buying a man a drink. You can try to maintain that frame no matter how much she protests or disagrees.
“OK suuure you didn’t mean for me to drink it, look it’s ok like I said I’m impressed by your modern liberated attitude, no need to try and backpedal or act embarrassed, there’s no shame in a woman paying for a mans drink”
This is VERY tough to pull off but can be done though it requires an absolutely unshakable frame.
The other good result is you act like a child that got caught doing something bad, playfully joke about you trying to pretend that a bunch of ninja’s came and stole her drink (if she says she never saw anyone you can say “Helloooooo they’re NINJA’S” and you tried to protect it but where outnumbered. Smile mischievously the whole time you relate the story…the more outrageous and unbelievable the better, then tell her that in spite of risking your life to protect her drink, you still feel obligated to make it up to her by buying her a replacement…tomorrow night (instant timebridge/date) this would be much easier to pull off imo.
I love reading stuff like this. I have zero game, BTW. For me it would have likely gone down like this: She asks me to hold her drink, I get slightly irritated by it about 20 seconds later, I drink the drink out of irritation with no plan of what to do when she comes back.
Honestly the best and easiest way to handle it is to avoid it altogether by having an excuse not to do it.
Her: "Hey hold my drink for a minute I want to go say hi to some friends I just spotted.
You: actually I need to go talk to the people I came with and talk about where we’re going after this but maybe I’ll meet up with you again before we leave.
This communicates that you’re social, have friends, have plans and the maybe indicates that you think she’s ok but you’re not desperate to see her again.
Lmao Just out of curiousity, if she asked you to hold her drink while going to say hi to someone and came back and you had drank it. Would that be a pass or fail? I’ve never done that but when you were describing scenarios that popped into my head.
wow…am I experiencing deja vu?
sorry i was trying to quote
Thats what I thought. I gave her a massage after 20 mins she passed out, so simply sat next to her , watched some tv, and rubbed her back with my free hand. She woke up shortly after and said that I get extra points for not getting hand crazy with the massage and iget extra extra points for continuing the massage after she fell asleep.
When I ask a guy to sleep over, it is a sign of respect on my part that I tell him it’s not about sex. It’s me saying “I’m not trying to fool you here, or play you into my little puppy, I really just like your company, and if you wan’t to come over, just to hang out, your welcome”. (a puppy is a guy who thinks he is just about to get with you. And keeps thinking it for the next ten years…)