this is an okay summary by killswitch- I suspect our forum gurus could come up with some enhancements… but something like this should come with A314 
mASF Discussion Forum on Fast Seduction 101
Subject:Group Dynamics - LeadersJust thought I would post this idea I have been carrying around with me for awhile. Think about it, see if you can see what I mean in-field.
For the purpose of this post, I am going to make a generalization - that everyone has a social role that they usually stick to. Now, in real life, you could have several, that you use in different social environments, but we are going to be taking just a slice of flesh and examining it here, so we’ll assume that everyone has just the one that they have at the moment.
Well it works kinda like this: the way you learn to deal with the people around you depends on A)how they react to you and B)how you instinctively or intuitively react to them. From this you can form a least-amount-of-energy-and-least-amount-of-pain model, and this is what we call your personality for a given social group. A routine or role you choose that maximizes the efficiency of the energy you expend (higher validation to energy-expended ratio) and minimizes uncomfortable situations. This is also in essence your social role - for example, if you tend to be quiet, it’s because you’ve learned that speaking up is wasted energy/pain inducing. If you tend to be a class clown, it’s because you’ve learned that people will laugh at your jokes and that becomes your most efficient source of validation.
Well what am I getting at here - basically that Leaders have routines they go through to ESTABLISH social vibes, social groups, even social roles.
Think back to when you were quiet and shy, and try to picture yourself in a room full of people that had never met each other before, or in a new group in class, or in a new class, etc. More than likely you had one of two routines - either you sat back and watched and considered the group, made an opinion and waited to be asked about it, or you would find one other weak-looking person and start quietly making a little side-group where you would feel comfortable speaking. Eventually what would happen would be a feeling of being part of the group would come over you, (if you were shy this might have taken a long time) and eventually you would feel yourself in a well defined role and able to act freely in that role.
Well, even if that wasn’t you.. here is what leaders do in new social environments - they create a social fabric. They tend to start the introductions, learning everyone’s name and asking them briefly about themselves, etc. Then once formal introductions are out of the way, they try to get some cohesion in the group - and they do this by trying to produce a common reaction or feeling in the group, something to tie them together. Example, they will define goals for the group (in the case of group work) and suggest getting started, perhaps highlighting work that needs to be done and either asking who wants to do it or gently delegating. Or, in more casual settings, they may start off with a joke or a humorous statement to create a relaxed atmosphere and try to get people laughing and chiming in.
They way a group forms is sort of like a snowball - one person starts it off, and gradually more and more people join in. In the cases above, the person to start would start by considering goals and beginning work or by considering atmostphere and beginning to joke around.
Have you ever been in a group with no leader? No-one that speaks up comfortably at the beginning? It usually ends up splintering, and you can literally see this happening - people start timidly talking to the person next to them about the most bland, low risk things possible, and there is no cohesive force. If you’ve ever worked in an environment like this you know that nothing gets done, and it can be extremely uncomfortable.
Anyway, to reiterate, leaders CREATE cohesion in the group by first creating an atmosphere where everyone feels invited into the group (introduction, EC, handshake, etc) and then initiates behaviour and uses snowball effect to eventually reach everyone in the group.
This is a very instinctual behviour pattern, and when it is done well the feeling of being in a group just kind of washes over you.
But a natural leader is not usually concious of the group he is creating - he does it instinctually, but like everything I talk about, it is a very simple process with a very simple model.
From the point of view of the leader, a group of people is simply a group of persons, each of whom he may feel differently about. They are either nuisances to be diminished or tools to be utilized, on sort of a scale from annoying to useful. He will act according to what he feels about these people.
To members of the group, there is a real feeling of a GROUP, but to the leader there is usually more of a feeling of a bunch of separate people. Why? because the leader uses these people individually and in different ways. This is why he introduces himself to everyone right off the bat and finds out everyones name and makes them say a few sentences - he wants to flesh them out as soon as possible.
(As an interesting side note, the best leaders are able to use that scale I mentioned above to motivate people to being useful - he does this through offering real validation for being useful and through ignoring/shutting out annoying or destructive behavior).
You see it’s like every other personality - it’s just a less-energy-wasted-less-pain routine that he’s figured out - leaders lead not because they feel any sense of duty or needing to be leader, they lead because that’s just usually the easiest way they know of to get things done.
(In fact, you will notice that natural leaders will often encourage other people to lead, and help them with it, so that they can relax their brains while knowing there is still someone in charge).
So the leader will get an idea of everyone in the group, and find out what their social role is.. and then by treating them as being in the social roles they seem comfortable with he will have created the roles, and hence the group. And then he will quickly want to get on with being low energy again.. and in a work setting this will mean setting clear goals and making sure all the necessary tasks are being worked on by someone, in a social setting this means breaking the uncomfortable formality of politeness with a joke or observation so that other people can feel free to join in.
Well there is a lot more I could write about the group, but some of it seems to be pointless, unless you were already the leader of a group and wanted to learn how to make it function more smoothly.. but I will save that for another time and another place. The main points were - leaders create groups, they don’t just walk into an existing group and become leader. (Side note - the leader will often choose an understudy, one that he validates in leadership-type activities, for several reasons - one is laziness, so he can stop thinking and let someone else run the group every now and then, the other is instinctual, something like passing the torch). What that means is, in your current social setting, don’t try to lead if you aren’t the leader already, it won’t happen and will only cause yourself to become ejected. If you want to be a leader, go make your own group.
Other main point is don’t wait for that feeling of being a part of a group, because that feeling means you are being led.. instead treat people as a means to an end. Don’t be inhumane with this, because that won’t work either.. rather remember that the group is the most comfortable thing for everyone, and use that as the ends. When I say use people as a means to an end I mean use them in their social roles they are comfortable with so that they can help create a feeling of a group. As in, provoke clowns to joke around, ask insightful questions of the quiter thoughtful ones, give second-tier leaders jobs to accomplish and assign them people to help them. Examples of that last one - “hey Jim, we really need to get X done, what do you think? Yes I agree.. Well hey Marcia had some good ideas about that, (look at Marcia briefly), why don’t you see how far you can get with this, I’m sure Marcia would be willing to help you”.
Edit - you’ll also notice that when you are able to do this well, people who are comfortable with their social roles will INSTANTLY recognize you as a leader and will start supporting your position as leader.. this can mean chiming in on your behalf during struggles with people that seek to take the group in less productive or less socially comfortable directions.
And I suppose I should mention somewhere here how exactly this relates to picking up.. well, basically, doing this will help you to pick up, take my word for it.
Hope this has been somewhat coherent.
Posted: 11 Sep 2007 09:33 AM
Originally Posted: 11 Sep 2007 09:17 AM
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