Help a lady out? Dating Tips Please

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
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Hi guys,

Here’s my quandary. I’m freshly 40, single, and clueless. I married young (18), divorced and jumped right into another relationship, which ended a couple of years ago. I’ve been flying solo since then, getting used to being on my own and taking things easy.

Can I get some dating tips from y’all?

I meet some nice guys through organizations I belong to, but I really don’t know how to read the language (body and verbal). What are guys my age looking for? I tried the online dating thing and was very disappointed. My take on it was that their expectations were that we would have immediate chemistry; I’m gun shy and cautious. My last relationship was long and lacked physical affection, so I’m out of practice.

Understand, I’m not looking to get laid. I mean, eventually yes, but with someone I trust. You know?

Any thoughts, boys?

CopyCat

Da Bella da Ball Journal
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craigslist, duh :smiley:. Oh, that reminds me, I gotta see if there are any motorcycles listed today that I may buy.

Us men are simple enough to understand, here’s a chart:

984×750 45.7 KB

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you can get a lot of tips from guys, I am not sure how many I would use…

I am not sure, but the last two local singles events I went to, were full of ladies 10 years or more your senior, I am sure most of the guys would have taken you as a fiery young woman… :smiley: Now If I could just find a group of early thirty somethings…

Which ones?
I have tried Yahoo, Plentyoffish, christian singles, sent out hundreds of emails and only gotten a few.:angry:
I turned some of my profiles into junk, just to see if there was a differance, I think one of them reads I am a killer robot sent here to evaluate women for breeding on our home planet.

maybe, You needed some more pheromones… :smiley:

I would say most guys are looking to get laid, how much work they put into it depends on the woman, and her personality, looks, baggage, etc…
as for immediate chemistry, that works sometimes, but fizzles quickly, I look for a friend first, then build a working relationship from there.
if a guy is interested in you, he will hang around, talking to you, text, email, pay you random compliments, try to flirt with you, return your flirting, and offer you gifts. Several of my female friends said they met their best friends and lovers through community service organizations, or at libraries or bookstores.

good luck to you in your search…

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Oh, you wanted dating tips. I think the biggest one is that every woman should be aware of a man’s MPB. Men are mostly trained chimps. If you’re into us, give us a freakin bone plz. kthxbai.

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Hmmmm..tough one. I guess I should ask my mom…she’s not a female casanova or anything, but she’s had some practice the last few years and she just hit 50. :slight_smile: Age shouldn’t be an issue, though it may depend where you are located. The SF/Bay Area happens to have men that vibe well with my mom’s personality, I guess? It doesn’t hurt that she still looks in her 40s.

She’s having problems maintaining her current relationship, but I think she at least found someone worth fighting for herself. I have absolutely no idea how she met her dates though. I think usually she was introduced by friends or through a party/get together hosted by her friends.

I can assure you, I’ve seen plenty of 40 somethings stll partying hard. :smiley: Probably the biggest thing is finding a situation you are comfortable with. Are you a clubber? Do you prefer chill, outdoor concerts? What ever it is you’re into, it wouldn’t be a bad idea to sign up with some clubs/organizations, and meet similar people that way.

I don’t really know what your style is, but what ever makes you feel good about yourself is what you should be heading towards. Does being fit give you confidence? Then work out, there is nothing wrong with improving your health. Does being knowledgable give you confidence? Maybe debate clubs? I have no idea what to put there, but you get the idea.

Maybe switching up styles could be the catalyst. I dunno. Try new things, be yourself, risk a little to gain a little, risk a lot for a lot. HAVE FUN. Everyone likes being around a fun person.

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To clarify, I’m not looking for how to meet men, but how to behave when I catch one.

There was an awesome thread I read recently about what women want and how to flirt with us. I haven’t seen anything like that from the guys.

I’m outta practice, haven’t dated since 1986, and need some help catching up with the times.

:stuck_out_tongue:

Somethin’ like this:10 Things That You Should Never Say To A Woman

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Oh, I guess that really depends on the guy. some want you standing there with his pipe and slippers when he comes home, with dinner on the stove, others, want a gal wearing nothing but a smile ready for a roll in the hay before dinner to work up an appetite. :smiley:

As for guys, we typically want what we can’t quite have all that much more.

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Oh. Well, that definitely depends on the guy.

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I have a question too, along these lines. When a guy chats you up, how to you make it easier for him to ask you out or ask for your number?

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If he’s chatting you up, that’s probably him showing interest. Show him you’re interested too. Let him know, one way or another that you woulnd’t mind spending some time with him. If he’s still clueless, you can always start things off yourself.

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Ah, thanks!

How do you show interest? I just read the thing about male blindness, so maybe I could be less subtle or something.

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I guess a jab in the eye and then grabbing his crotch would be considered a mixed signal?

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LOL, I could never do that!

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OooohYah riiight. I’m sure that you are too much of a lady for that. You could try inching the hem of your skirt up and scratching your thigh. i’m sure tha t would work unless i was having a really interesting conversation with your cleavage.

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My dear feline friend,

I have held off replying to your thread in the hope that i can give you a serious reply without my usual smartass remarks. After several hundred miles of careful consideration i can tell you with a high degree of certainty that, like you, i really don’t have a clue. As i’m sure you know by now, that has never stopped me before. (So much for the serious reply :wink: ) I am a firm believer in the old Austin headshop motto “Onward Thru The Fog”.

Listening to you, i get the feeling that your question has several different parts.

#1 How do we get men to ask you out?

#2 When you’re dating how should you behave. What’s expected of you. What should you expect from men.

#3 How to build a long term relationship from a steady date.

#4 How to keep a LTR.

And then there is 1,2,3,&4 partB - that little old sex thang.

How am i doing so far?

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One thing we missed is: What’s the guy like? For example, some guys like it when that have to chase a lady. Some guys don’t like playing games and want you to be straightforward. Are you his type? Some guys just don’t ask girls out, but they will enjoy spending time with you somewhere, but they don’t like calling it a date.

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Copycat,

If you’re looking for an ltr, I’d recommend reading “Relationships For Dummies” - By Dr. Kate M. Wachs.

I learned a lot from it.

She goes thru exposing the popular myths, contrasts the differences in thinking beetween men and women and give lots of valuable advice - such as: (paraphrasing big time) avoid recently divorced men as they are totally confused, angry, feel betrayed, are hot to trot and haven’t settled their ego status.

Anyway, take your dear sweet time and be yourself. Guys seeking an ltr are looking to weed out the phoneys.

Hope this helps. Best Wishes for your quest.

XOXO

Jedi_Nights

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Eldros, LOVED the chart…huge laughing moment. reps baby…

This is a great thread.

Woofie says, "Which ones?
I have tried Yahoo, Plentyoffish, christian singles, sent out hundreds of emails and only gotten a few.:angry:

Schell says, “Lose the woof woof suit and you might have a chance.”

So guys tell us girls about the body language signs that men give when they like a lady…

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When men stare into your your cleavage don’t take it seriously, we just consider that a friendly greeting.

PS What suit?

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ok… :smiley: I lost the Mini-me pic. (wait, Woofie is only my nickname, and typical forum handle, not my singles profile. That is an alien cyborg that is sent here from the planet A6gammatrogon, to study Earth women for breeding capibilities. but again that is my friend’s profile on Yahoo, what is scary he gets more email’s than I do)

Typically if I like a gal, I will be slightly nervous around her. Because if I am calm and relaxed, I seem to overlook the fact she is coming onto me.