Seriously Need Some Advice/Opinions

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Alright… This is a little complicated. I care about this issue a lot, so I don’t want to shortchange myself on details, but I’ll try to keep it to necessary information for painting a picture of the situation.

I have a really tremendous desire to be with this woman I met three weeks ago. We’ve spent nearly every day together since then, but I can’t tell if she’s into me or if she just feels emotionally comfortable with me. On the one hand, she’s been kind of touching me “accidentally” quite a bit, often several times a night, making really great eye contact a lot, reminiscing rather extensively about her past boyfriends (who are typically pretty interesting people in their own right) and vaguely alluding to her sex life. Three nights ago we were sitting on her couch for hours and she was telling me about how her mattress should be submitted to the R&R Hall Of Fame for the famous musicians who’ve been on it… This while she was laying down on one end with her feet less than a foot from my arm and getting closer until her roommate got home (dang it! lol).

On the other hand, I went out with her tonight and felt as if she was just kind of tired. Really got very little from her. Noticed she’s started calling me “hun”, like in a friendly way. Says “hey you” a lot, which I guess could be interpreted either way. She’s been initiating a lot of contact with me, like literally daily contact. But I have such low self-worth that there’s a part of me going “she can’t possibly be interested in you.” Also because she’s older than I am, and I’m afraid she thinks of me as just a kid and is just kind of taking me under her wing… (I’m 20, 21 tomorrow, don’t know how old she is exactly but has an 18yo daughter and so we can safely assume late 30s maybe 40. Looks very young for her age, regardless). I couldn’t care less about her age, but I don’t know if she feels the same way. The age difference could seem a little weird, I know. But it feels wonderful when I’m with her, it feels totally natural, like this is where I’ve always wanted to be. It feels perfect, even when I’m tired and bored and uncomfortable. And when it’s good, I can’t describe how wonderful it feels. I don’t really know if I even have anything to offer to her, she’s amazing.

So we’re obviously friends at this point, which is good, I guess, in the progression of things since we’ve only known each other three weeks, but I’m now wanting to take it to the next level. I think she feels the same way, and though I’m not sure I’m right, my hunch is strong enough that I’m willing to risk crushed hopes and disappointment to find out if I’m wrong.

And so here I am. I haven’t been able to get her alone the past few days because of this series of things she’s participating in and that I’ve been attending as well involving rather rigorous spiritual practice. Sunday is the last day of that, fortunately. Though the practice has been pretty fantastic as well.

I guess I’m wondering what the opinion is of members here: pheromones or not? My game kind of sucks, and I don’t have any real confidence in myself (though I’m a good actor and am working on confidence in the best ways I know how), and I think that may be contributing to my feelings of “she can’t possibly be interested in me… really?” Because that’s happened before, where I’ve just felt too bad about myself to believe the possibility that someone was interested in me. This one feels really special, though. I don’t want to let her slip away without trying. So I need some advice. This community looks pretty awesome from the reading of threads I’ve done so far, and I’m hoping I’ll be able to find some experienced people to offer me thoughts on the issue. Where should I go from here? What would you do? Has anyone been in a similar situation?

2

Are you looking to have sex with her or a relationship with her ?

My advice is don’t invest to much of your time or emotions on her. She’s a cougar. She doesn’t want to keep you she just wants to play with you a bit simply because your age and attention strokes her ego.

There are two very obvious clues in your story. Her prattling on about her old conquests, her extensive talk about her past sexual experiences. There is a difference between being interested in a man and being interested in the attention he gives you. When your interested in a man you avoid at all costs telling him that stuff. Unless your leaving things out nothing in her behavior indicates she is interested in anything more then how you make her feel.

The “Hun” and the “hey you” are two more clues. Your in her friends box and your right she is using the phrases to reinforce the boundary lines. Subtle reminders of your place in that box.

Older men often do this with younger women as well. It strokes there ego to be able to grab the interest and attention of a younger person so they flirt a bit in a vain way of showing they still got it. They may even have sex with the person but the interest and attention doesn’t go very far past that which is why I asked you the first question. They are not really interested in the person, just the way the person makes them feel. So if your looking to just have sex or hanging out and having fun there are possibilities there but if your looking for something real and long term pass this one up.

This is the most important part you need to hear and understand. Its not about you or your ability to interest or attract people. I would say she does find you sexually attractive. However you have to look a bit deeper at her intention. Her attention is about her self worth not yours. Do not let it become about yours.

I am sorry if I am coming off harsh and I am truely not trying to dash your hopes but you need to see this situation for what it is before you do get crushed. If you see it for what it is and you can accept that is all it is then go for it and try to score. I think you already know that your feelings run a lot deeper then that though which puts you in the dangerous position of being hurt.

Tisha

3

Hey, thanks for your reply.

No, it doesn’t feel harsh at all – just realistic, and perhaps not what I’d rather hear. Unfortunately, it’s what I was already gathering from her behavior. Do you think there’s any way for me to let her know how I feel and give it a shot in a straight forward way just to see if she’s interested? I’d be OK with sex and friendship, I’ll tell you the truth. Hell, I’m leaving the city we live in in a month and she’ll be going back to a different country for awhile in two months, though we’d talked vaguely about meeting up on the west coast after that. I just tend to get swept away by my the emotion of it.

4

Tisha has said everything I would say about this but probably far more tactfully.

She likes your attention and keeping you on tenterhooks for more but more or less she won’t shit or get off the pot. Its not a good situation to be in and I’m not convinced telling her anything would serve ant great purpose beyond utterly convincing her that you are a firmly hooked fish she can play to her heart’s content.

IMO, you would be far better butting-out of her life or reducing the time you spend with her to a bare minimum for a while and depriving her of all the attention/validation. It probably won’t be long before she is back after you with significantly raised interest - This is where mones and a radically repositioned attitude to her might well help. However, you will need to guard yourself and not look at it as being anything more than sex unless you get some prolonged and consistant signs of her wanting much more with you - she really does need to make a lot of the running here.

As for her age and apparent sexualisation - I would suggest either pretty overt sexual/status products or sexual/social/engaging. So A314/TUTH sits at one end of the spectrum, with Ammo/IG/IH/IS in the middle and MX297/TUTH at the other end. Apart from Ammo/socials, I wouldn’t suggest you wear either extreme when just hanging out - Save them for social/sexy times when you can fully live-up to their promise. :slight_smile:

5

Well I wouldn’t suggest it until like Mobcaster said she shows more interest in you instead of how you make her feel. It will just stroke her ego even higher.

One piece of advice is when she is babbling on about all her conquests and sex partners or herself do not under any circumstances act impressed or interested. Draw her attention back to the here, now and you.

Neg her when she starts to reminisce about old conquests, Say something like… “what happen they all dump you” or “Man I hope you didnt catch anything with all those partners” LOL. Not a direct insult but a round about one. Its the adult equivalent of spitting spit balls at girls you like or pulling pig tails in the playground adult style. Sounds backwards and crazy but for some damn reason it works.

Dont be all available like Mobo said. Ever go fishing ??? Well dangle the bait, then pull it away, make her chase it. If she keeps chasing and bites then pounce and bang her. Sorry for the crudeness (your mother will probably curse me LOL) Anywhoo… dont tell her about your feelings except for maybe your sexual feelings before you fish some more.

Tisha

6

WARNING: This note is from M&M! You may need to chug a gallon or two or three of HOLY WATER after you read it! :o

Well, Mob and Tish are right by me, but it sounds like it’s TOO LATE.

I will always take it as being DISREPECTFUL being told about past lovers without me asking. You should, too. Still … even if she sees you as a kid, she sure is having ADULT conversations with you = INTEREST to me. What kind of interest, is another story. Women have EGOs, too. Take a deep breath, and whatever you do … DO NOT HAND OVER YOUR BALLS! You’ll need them later on in LIFE.

To me, they are both deep into the ‘LOOK AT ME’ mode. “He’s gotta a hot cougar.” “She’s got a young stud.” Even though I’ve seen both, it’s the young stud who’s normally the blind one, until TIME peeps in and opens his eyes.

This is screaming A314 + TUTH, or A314 + something DOMINANT.

A kid will always say how he feels thinking it’s the best thing to do. The M to the M says, “ON THE AVERAGE, IT IS NOT WISE.”

Your mind is probably in flames, young fella. Give the A314 spray or oil + something DOMINANT a test run, and keep your mouth shut when it comes to feelings of LOVE. Excuse me ladies, but TREAT HER LIKE A PRINCESS, AND ______ HER LIKE A PORN STAR, comes to mind. :cool: And NO, kiss or treat does NOT go into that blank space! :roll_eyes: And in case you still don’t get it, it rhymes with DUCK. :smiley:

DARE TO BE FUN!

DARE TO BE DIFFERENT!

DOMINATE AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY!

AND KEEP A SILK BLINDFOLD AND A PAIR OF HANDCUFFS IN YOUR CAR AT ALL TIMES! :wink:

7

A314 with -none (maybe an intentional od like with IJ?) - worth a try.

I’ve tried out many different dosages of -none and have as a result experienced od several times. For some reason there seem to be women who dont mind or even like it. This may be one of them.

At the very least, it would probably wipe the smile right off of her face.

But be careful about bumping into big men.

8

I was hanging out with this cougar she was 46 and i was 28, i just kissed her she didnt pull back so all good

give that a go

9

Way to go, G! :wink:

As the M to the M always say, “IF YOU’RE SCARED, JUMP ON THE PORCH!” :smiley:

10

If you only want to sleep with her, use some mones to help it happen. A little alcohol never hurt no one either.
If you have deeper feelings for her, I suggest you bail before you get hurt. She’s playing you and most likely won’t change that behavior. She may very well be swayed into having sex with you but it certainly doesn’t seem like she’d like a relationship. She sucks up all the attention you are willing to give her and probably will get you to do all kinds of favors in the process.

11

I have been in your exact situation many, many years ago but for the age difference, we were both the same age. But the lady was far more experienced and for some reason found joy in telling me about all the buttsex and even really dangerous situations she’d recklessly put herself in. I was no virgin but I sure wasn’t familiar with gangbangs or bondage either.
The sex was good but since my heart was in it and hers was not, I finally had no choice but to end it.

Was it worth it? Today I’d say so. But some 15 years ago I would’ve said hell no. So make sure you don’t want more than she’s willing to give before you go further.