Mark has a feather duster and Renny loaned out the air compressor - not sure who has it now.
I know what you mean - but I feel that way with most people I meet male or female … as in - are you aware of anything six inches past your nose?
I am not sure even that would solve it … 
Boy Kitten sure has been quiet since she borrowed it. 
Dear CC,
**STOP! **BACK AWAY FROM THE LINGERE AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT.
Slowly now. No sudden moves. I like it when you move real slow like that.
Remember lingere never goes out of style.
Seriously,you’ve got the odds stacked agianst ya kid. You’ve got all these things going for you that make you healthy, well balanced human being and a strong, independent woman. I could run through a page or two of what you have going for you but it would get boring long before i finished. Let’s just say that the best of the MILFs eat your dust. That unfortunately means that men who are your equal are few and far between. (My assumption is that you are looking for a relationship of equals.) And that is even after you weed out the psyhopathic ex-wives, mother fixations, poverty, drunks, ad infinitum.
To believe that there will never be anyone, somewhere out over the horizon, that we can build a comfortable intimate relationship with would leave even a life lived well, bland and hollow. Unfortuanely, the only reasonable adivce i can give you is:
NEVER GIVE UP!
Foutunately, in the never ending quest to Keep Austin Weird, that leaves me with my unreasonable advice. The greatest human questions, persue by the finest human minds, people like Curie, Pastuer, Edison, abosrbed long intense searches that consistently ended frustration and surrender. That is when the great insights of human history were made. Remember Buddha after a liftime of search for elightenment found it when he gave up and fell asleep under the bohdi tree. So my unreasonable advice to you would be:
GIVE UP!
QUIT TRYING!
BUT
NEVER STOP BELIEVING THAT LOVE IS SOMEWHERE
OVER THE HORIZON.
Good advice, huh?
But then there is little old part B. The viginity question. It’s a lot like tryin’ to get the cork out of a real old bottle of champagne. With my wife’s (Dear, departed) long chronic illness and my apparently genetic monogomy, I can assure you that there is more dust on my bottle than there is on yours, leaving me completely unqualified to advise you on uncorking yours. Somebody else tell her about Craigslist.
Gotta go. Gettin’ dark. My mushrooms need me.
craigslist
OoohYahhh,
Marry me.
I don’t cook for shit, but I’m good at getting corks out of bottles and I have my own power tools. In fact, I got a miter saw for my birthday, and I just think that’s keen!
LoveCat
wait, are you over 5’10"?
Lordy Wilks!
First, happy birthday!
Now, how come no one has snapped you up yet?
I hope (with all fingers crossed) you have phenomenal luck!
Your post made me think maybe I should put my cougar costume on and go find a sweet young thing who isn’t all cynical and set in his ways yet.
You like dogs? 
Wow: Pheromone advice, life coaching and now match-making. What other site offers all this in one place …
If you knew how many younger guys would like to have a relationship with a 40-year-old woman…
the same for 40 year-old guys and elder…
Just think of the ideal relationship you’d like to have, how you would feel and visualize the kind of guy you’d enjoy to be with… not just physicially but what you’d like to do with him, moments to share… and it will come…
Start to make it real and it will come.
It’s amazing how many people want things that are not precise. They want a “relationship”.And they get one. A bad one. So be as precise as possible with yourself, you’ll make it in your mind and life will make it real.
I agree with the not looking think said earlier - When you are looking too hard for the trees in the forest you miss the forest (and just don’t see the cute shrub).
mmm bad analogies
My only suggestion for once you met the guy is to be honest with what/who you are looking for - yes you might scare a bunch of guys away, but you didn’t want them anyways. You want the guys who when they hear what you want are thinking (or even better, saying) "damn, that’s exactly what I’m looking for right now!)
Of course this is the perspective of a 24 yr old…
I bet you get biker guys all over you - ladies with bikes are about as common as guys who drive pink convertibles… Which I don’t really understand because they always want to ride on mine when I mention it
Wouldja look at that? I’m makin’ reservations at the Elvis Chapel and she’s off sniffin’ around some young buck.
These young chics are just too flighty for me. They never know what they want from one hour to the next.
I’ve always prefered older women anyway. They have better lingere collections and they can rrreally cook. Some of them will even let you play with their power tools.
Just because i don’t have kids or a psychcotic ex-wife you girls think i’m easy pickin’s. I got news for you. I have a horse. No woman will ever come between me and my horse. As long as you can accept the fact that you are the second most beautiful female in my life, we’ll get along fine.
And then you’re way the hell and gone up on the other side of Bemidji. Y’all don’t even have a craigslist up there. I couln’t live like that.
I’m sorry Cat, but I don’t think this would work out between us. When you’re done sniffin’ around those young bucks, call me. We can talk.
Till then, I’m going to take my bottle here and be on my way. See if i can find a woman who really appreciates a vintage champagane.
Truely,OoohYahhh
Hey, at least when you meet someone here, you have some things going for you as a couple:
Butterfly,
Great point! Has anyone met on here? That’d be one for the grandkids!
Cat
Fickle Filly … er, Cat
My dearest OoohYahhh,
I was just lookin’!
Just for the record, Bemidji is norther than me and we do too have Craigslist here. Why, just yesterday Sven Peterson posted an ice auger on it. Hmm, I believe it might be just the right size for my fish house. Might have to go take a look-see!
LoveCat
Men are simple
I once had the opportunity to share a long conversation with a woman who had worked for many years as a very popular “escort.” I asked her what she had learned about men that most women don’t understand. She paused and gave me a long thoughtful answer. She began, “Men are simple.” And interrupted herself to say that she did not mean that in a negative way. Though she spent maybe ten minutes elaborating on this topic, it was the simplicity of her basic point that surprised me. “Men want sex.” I knew that. What I didn’t realize is that other women really don’t get it. Apparently it is a cliche or a joke rather than a profound truth. She seemed to believe that if a woman has good sex with a man at least once a week, he’ll never leave her. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend, so I guess the converse isn’t true.
On being attractive to men
There’s a common female complaint that men become distinguished, but women just get old. Of course, many men completely skip the distinguished phase and go directly to fat, bald and grumpy. The bigger problem with the argument is that there is a female counterpart to distinguished. Feminists have so convinced postmodern women that success entails getting what men have that they completely miss their own goal. The female counterpart to distinguished is radiant. The alternatives are matronly, bitchy and decrepit.
Twenty-something women have a certain youthful glow which is very attractive. Men question whether they are mature enough to be responsible and able to avoid embarrassing us or themselves on a regular basis. By the time a woman reaches forty, men have the exact opposite concern. I’ll take a radiant sixty year old woman over a glaring twenty year old any day. But a truly radiant adult woman is a rare find and more popular than a high school cheerleader.
What makes a woman radiant? I’ll tell you what I have seen. I am aware of five areas of accomplishment. I am sure others will want to make their own observations.
The most amazing successes I have seen are among women who have added regular tantric practices to their lives. These are generally yoga type exercises that you can do alone or as a couple. Jewel in the Lotus by Sunyata Saraswati and Bodhi Avinasha is a well known and respected book, which is a good place to start. If you find someone in your area who does serious tantra classes, that is great, but not necessary. Taoist practices as popularized by Mantak Chia are a similar approach translated from a different culture. The tantrics tend to take the more feminine perspective. Kundalini yoga will get you to a similar place.
Hormones start to become a concern about age forty as progesterone levels begin to decline. This will turn a woman into a certifiable bitch whether or not there are physical symptoms. Often the woman is oblivious to how nasty and unlikable she has become. Read the books by John R. Lee, MD (e.g. What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Premenopause). If you want a more popular author, Suzanne Somers has written some excellent books. I am usually disgusted by Hollywood movie stars who become activists in things they don’t understand, but Ms Somers has made an outstanding contribution.
Positive thinking comes in many different philosophical and spiritual flavors. It can be as simple as removing the words “no” and “not” from your vocabulary and thoughts. Instead of “No, I don’t want to go to the fish restaurant. I’m allergic to seafood.” One might say, “I’d love to. Can we go to the steakhouse instead?” Or instead of “I don’t want a man with children,” one might think, “I want a man who has plenty of time for me.” It is not about being in denial about real obstacles. It is about seeing and believing in positive outcomes. The Secret is very popular. I like the books by Esther and Jerry Hicks. The Remote Viewing and Influencing tapes by Gerald O’Donnell are also pretty amazing.
Regular exercise can be a very important part of it, and I am beginning to believe that pheromones might also make a very significant contribution.
Relationships
I have recently read a couple dozen books on the relationship/PUA topic, but one which was especially interesting was entitled Without Embarrassment: The Social coward’s totally fearless seduction system by Michael Pilinski. He lists four primary emotion needs that a man and a woman should expect their mate to satisfy. I shall paraphrase.
Man’s Needs:
Unconditional acceptance.
True friend and confidant.
Respect.
Great sex.
Woman’s needs:
To be heard (opinions valaidated by a man).
Emotional support and stability.
Romance.
To show off her good catch.
Yes thank you, I would like to make an observation.
This man is a freaking genius!
Listen to him Cat.
OoohYahhh
Warren: Reps! This is what I was looking for!
OoohYahhh, I took your advice and went on Craigslist. Now, how to weed out the salmon from the catfish?
I like how you did it when ooohyahhh suggested it and not when I suggested it :/. That really hurts.
yes, there are a lot of catfish out there, and quiet a few carp.
Aw Eldros,
First, I dint mean to hurt your feelings. Damn. 'Specially since you’re a fellow Texan.
It’s just… well… to be honest, your avatar freaks me out so badly, I’m afraid to take your advice. 
I mean, a cat with lipstick? There’s something terribly disturbing about that.
I mean, I never wear lipstick. >^x^<
Salmon are flashy, handsome, noisy and single minded. They are fond of parties and public displays of affection. They have a live fast and die young mentality. They are easy to find because they tend to congregate in the same places year after year. They can be caught using just about any brightly colored brand name lure and a fast hook set.
Catfish are quiet sometimes scary fish that are hard to get to know. Whiskered and often pot bellied they are not “pretty” in the classic sense. They are, however, fiercely loyal to their homes, mates and offspring. You’ll usually find them when you least expect it as they are often hidden in plain sight. You’ll need something real to catch one as they will only strike the artificial stuff when they are desperate. Patience is key.