do you think feelings toward her? i also wonder if they spend most of their time or maybe all the time having sex do they still have time to do something else together?
Well that settles it. He needs to get a job and pronto. Full time employment will help tame his libido.
…I don’t know about that one, Gegogi.
Men and women are extremely different in this regard. For women, our sexual needs tend to be more tied to emotion, and we tend to fly solo less often when we’re in sexual relationships, because our emotional needs as well as physical are more fulfilled–but men don’t because for them, it’s fulfilling a completely separate need. That’s why women, because they feel the need to masturbate less often, inappropriately become offended when their male partners don’t…cut back. 
Women don’t realize that while for us it tends to be fulfilling a similar need, men have two completely separate ones that have surprisingly little to do with each other, so the frequency of their “solo time” doesn’t really reflect the health of their sexual relationship with their girlfriends/fiancees/wives. Therefore, the reaction of “What, aren’t I enough for you?” really is a result of a miscommunication between the sexes, because nobody really talks about this.
Therefore, if this were a need that could be fulfilled with masturbation, I think he would be doing it on his own already, or would have begun to do so after being rebuffed a significant number of times. I’m 20 myself, so the men my age are at or approximately at their sexual peak, and I think I have a good grasp on what that is…and three times a day for more than a short “honeymoon period” (and I mean short) is not normal.
With all of that said, and I really, really don’t mean to be hurtful or insulting, I think the guy may be a sex addict. If it were as simple as “Well, I’ll just take care of this myself, then,” I feel like he would have done so. Of course, I am not a professional and could definitely be wrong, but I think your friend’s boyfriend may want to seek some professional help to understand why his needs are so…unusual.
I do NOT cut back at all on “entertaining” myself in any way, nor could I give a monkey’s how much “The Man” does it in his own time. It takes NOTHING away from our relationship in any way, and both of us are fully aware of that.
Men your age Laurie, are in their sexual peak, and women of my age are in ours. AND IT ROCKS! 
You will think VERY differently about sex and relationships in general after you turn 30. I am not being condescending in any way, but the way your mindset is now, is fairly typical of most women under 30.
Watch that perspective shift RADICALLY as you get older and understand better that the differences between men and women and the whole sex equation while pretty vast at first appearance - are really NOT far-removed from each other - at all.
You will also find as you get older that unless there is a problem in the first place YES, people DO actually talk about those kind of issues between themselves, and that YES men DO have the same emotional needs as women. They are just allocated different compartments.
Never forget that all men tend to compartmentalise - everything. It’s unique to them, and it’s quite the thing to get the female head around to be honest, but once you do, it makes the whole relationship and sex thing MUCH easier.
They Compartmentalise thus: Their friends are in one, their family in another, work in another, their partner in yet another. The size and ratio of those compartments expands or reduces according to how daily life affects them, and that is something that will NEVER alter.
The tip to getting a male partner to talk frankly with you about sex (if it is NOT a natural occurrence), is to work out exactly WHICH compartment he has allocated to that part of his life, and then to work out how TOGETHER you can expand it - without HIM being aware you are doing so, as then he will think it was his idea in the first place.
Ail
I don’t take it as condescending, but I did base that on what I’ve read as reported by countless sex experts.
You’re lucky. I don’t think most women are as aware as you are (at least not American women) as I’ve met countless couples, seen countless couples on television and read countless letters to advice columns in which the women, aged anywhere from 20 to 50, are wildly offended by their male partners entertaining themselves (seriously, I wish I were kidding you). There are many women out there who do not understand and are truly hurt by it.
Meanwhile, from personal experiences, discussions I’ve had with the women I know, and from reading, etc., I do feel that many of us females don’t have the need to do so as much with men in our lives. However, that could never be true for everyone.
Of course, age does play a significant role and I do expect my opinions to shift as I get older.
Particularly if they meet up. 
Absolutely - this is a very widespread belief in America, where we use sex to sell everything but as far as sex-ed goes, the word is “abstinence-only.”
Lots of women in the US think their men should be satisfied with however little sex they (the women) want, and not ever satisfy themselves or god forbid look at any porn, oh no!
Hmm, many men tend to get seriously into their careers and thus spend much of their time away from home. It’s both emotionally and physically exhasting. Subsequently he’ll have less time and energy to focus on sex when he drags his sorry arse late at night. I was happy just to drop on the bed and sleep–forget about sex until holidays or a day off! Of course, I’m speaking from personal experience. When I was an unemployed student I tended to hump on my ladyfriend several times a day and go out at night looking for more.
I have a friend of mine, married, whose husband almost demands sex everyday. He actually got a little pissed when she turned him down because she was sick. To turn up her libido, she should look at her diet, get more exercise, more restful sleep, cut back on stressors, and actually think about sex during the day. One person I know needed to think about sex during the day to get some anticipation going, otherwise everything else going on in her life would drown out any sexual impulses and it would take forever to get her going so that she would actually get fed up with any efforts in that direction. With women I’ve known who have a hard time getting in the mood, some or all of these things seem to do the trick. They do need to get this resolved though. I mean an actual solution or it will sit and fester and bring down their relationship.
I think you just hit the nail superbly on the head, Carrie, because the more I thought about it after that last post, the more I focused on culture rather than age.
Age is always a factor. I’ve been an adult for two and a half years, what the hell do I know? However, particularly in comparison to secular Europe, the heavily Christian (no blasphemy intended, folks), puritanical culture we still have in this country (ironic, since the pilgrims came here to escape that…) influences us in terms of sex, racial stereotypes, gender roles, etc., to the point where we seem tremendously foreign to the rest of the world in a way that most Americans cannot hope to grasp. This is complicated by the fact that it’s ingrained in us from a very young age that we are the most “progressive” country in the world.
Therefore, I would not hesitate to believe that the average European woman is just generally more aware about things than the average American woman.
ETA: I still think the guy has a serious issue, though. Three times a day for any extended period of time is not normal; I don’t care who you are.
Laurie - if it makes ya feel better - the idea of sexual addiction crossed my mind too.
I am thinking very soon it won’t be a problem though. Impotency will come knocking…unless he gets his act together fast! Overejaculation can cause multitude of mental and physical issues.
prior to kids sex 3 times a day was normal in my last LTR.
unless he is uncomfortable without it 3 times a day, i dont see the problem.
i also think time tends to wane the situation.
you could always discuss it.
thats guarenteed to cut the sex in half
I don’t think they actually DO do it that often, just that he is perfectly capable of it, and certainly wouldn’t mind. I’m not there, of course.
It probably stems down to the fact that his first girlfriend was a nymphomaniac - and when your first sexual experience is over the top, then of course this will effect your future relationships. It’s odd because I know another guy who had this very experience, and sex is just as important to him.
It IS an expression to them.
America is BIZARRE about sex – on one hand we’re saying we’re becoming more and more open about it, but at the same time, our sexual education is LAUGHABLE, we have kids 14 and YOUNGER who are engaging in sexual activity without hardly any knowledge of how to be safe or any understanding of what they’re doing.
And then we add on that so many people believe masturbation is a sin, or find it shameful.
I completely agree that other countries and cultures have the upper hand when it comes to sexual awareness, comfort, health, and over all integration in the society.
I am having a REALLY hard time keeping a straight face right now, because Lor is WELL aware of just why I am having total confusion as to this HUGE difference in countries/cultures - again!
..and not a word from you miss Pink-As-A-Fluffy-Cloud Lor.. >_<
Yes..I did say I had to go to bed, but I had to do this wee casting for a friend over in Florida… ^_____~
All I will say is this: Over here, if you can’t be together, synchronized play (Text-Sex) using your mobile (cell) phones and the keypad (not your voices - that’s just boring..) ROCKS! ^_~
I am VERY glad we have no sexual repression or taboos over here - VERY!
I AM going to sleep now. …Or Lor will hit me with her pink cloud..
Ail
http://www.smilieshq.com/smilies/love0058.gif
the states do overcomplicate things!
Naughty Naughty Ail…you told me that story too…
3 times a day??
Hum. . .
I think I may need a new bf. I had no idea such potential was out there . . .
xoxo
jp
6 minutes. My BF has a MARVELOUS combination technique. We’ve timed it and giggled. It’s a little joke between us.
Um, the other thing is she can ramp up her appetite often through hormonal augmentation. BTW, is she on BC? Joy of Joys. Yes, we are highly unlikely to get pregnant, but in fact the hormones SUBDUE women’s sex drive.
I use a cream that has Progesterone. In fact, it RAMPS my sex drive. And I’d probably like it about 4x a week, and sometimes a weekend feast is a marvelous thing. But seeing as we’re chickfolks, yup, we’re cyclical. And I don’t just mean we menstruate (commercial sidebar, often that first day or two we LOVE to receive oral sex as our sex hormones are UP, UP, UP!), I mean we have hormonal/mood fluxes. Sooo, sometimes we WANT to. Sometimes we’re like, eh. Whatever.
And sometimes as a woman we have sex when we are not TOTALLY up for it because, well, it IS still sex (!!!) and we do it out of INTIMACY.
Not that THAT completely takes care of your friend, but I hope that helps a little bit.
Skunk perfume? Cease bathing…
All the best dear.
April
I guess sometimes it’s better to say yes even if you’re not in the mood:
He got 30 years but I was thinking “an eye for an eye” might be more appropriate.
Incidentally most women I’ve known need 5-10 mintues of devoted clitoral stimulation to cum. Some even have a hair trigger. 30-40 minutes would result in a blistered tongue and sore kitty 'n neck…
Enchanted April…Good thought.
Besides birth control, if she is on certain antidressants or mood stabilizers her sex drive can plumit like a sale graph in a dafy duck cartoon.
SSRI’s have a tendancy to lower sex drive, as do amphetamines (ritalin, adderall, concerta aka tanker pills
http://www.mypillbox.org/images/pills/concerta18.gif
) lol
there are many others as well, that have sex drive altering properties (and it’s not to uncommon.)