Hello all.
Long story short, 3 year relationship, gf was very submissive during the honeymoon phase of the relationship.
I started being less sexy, etc blah blah blah, we almost broke up.
I promised to change, etc.
Relationship wise things are looking up, sex has increased, but i want her to be back to being submissive and wanting to do things for me.
She is highly independent and naturally high levels of testosterone.
So basic bitch tactics don’t work as well on her.
I was a jerk alot during the relationship but she is over that kinda behavior to an extent.
My biggest concern is which product to use?
Because of her non- basic mentality and high levels of testosterone (she doesn’t run on emotions like most girls), my worry is I get one that will drive her away even more.
It might be worth looking at P75, or P106 - both are effective masculines that don’t carry many of the potential negatives of None and will pair with a great many consumer products. I would suggest 2.5 and 5mcg respectively as starting doses. A little goes a long way with these products.
Then maybe consider pairing them with something bonding/connecting like the IH/IS combo, or a smart status product like IG.
A314 is also in th frame but younger/aggressive women can be tricky with more mature status products - If she is co-aged with you or younger, start with the more youth-friendly products and only move-up if she shows a liking for something like IG/P75 or gives you other status indicators.
Lastly, it will take a lot more than pheros to get yourself back on top - you will need a change in attitude/approach to her and the pheros will help that no-end.Also consider finding yourself a new hobby - something that takes you out from under her feet for a while on a regular basis. not only will this up your scarcity value, it will also help with the “he’s changed” response to your new approach.
After reading the original post, I had this same impression. The mones Mobocaster recommended will work only to the extent she’s willing to recognize you as the true alpha in the relationship and sees it as an advantage. But once someone achieves or assumes a dominant role, it’s difficult psychologically for that person to go back to a true submissive role. Typically there needs to be a stronger psychological force besides mones to make that happen.
You also said she’s independent-minde and that she was submissive during the honeymoon phase. Yeah, she was behaving that way because it gave you space to be sexy AND it benefited her. But, you slacked and she wasn’t willing to be submissive anymore. She didn’t see any benefit to it. It might be time to have a heart-to-hear talk regarding the dynamics of your relationship. Mones could help in this process.
Yes - your choice of mones will only have at best fleeting effectiveness unless you re-frame yourself to her.
Personally I’m not that fond of the long talk approach - I prefer to approach it nonverbally/more actions-driven approach. Step back from her, make some important changes (for the better) to yourself, then let her curiosity and mones do a lot of the work for you - but if it works (and yes its a risky strategy), be very careful not to slide back into the patterns that lost her again.
Start over. You are done. This is life not a game. You lost that battle the moment you went soft. She cannot break the mental lock that is YOU == weak (aka not attractive).
Do not waste anymore of your time trying to “get her back”. Admit you should have dodged left when you dodged right. KO. Get up. Train harder. Try again – WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
Yup. I made the same mistake with my past girlfriend. After getting comfortable in the relationship, I made the mistake of showing weakness too much too often. She ended up losing respect for me pretty quickly, and even became abusive and belligerent.
I broke up with her swiftly and fiercely. Then blocked her number, and told her I’d get restraining order if she contacted me again. I heard from mutual friends that she was genuinely upset at losing me, rather than having a “good riddance” reaction. But I knew that loss of respect is always permanent, and I’d be doing myself a world of hurt if I took her back.
OP, I’m afraid a break-up is in order for you as well.
Deadlyliquid, while I don’t know the full extent of the situation, I think the relationship is salvageable as long as there is mutual respect. You said nothing about her being abusive, disrespectful, or dismissive. You also mentioned that she was over it to some extent, so you have a shot here. Since your girlfriend doesn’t run on emotions, Mobocaster’s method might work. Slap on the mones, and act confident and sexual. Man up, make your own sandwiches, do your own laundry, and wash your own dishes. In other words, mirror her independence and testosterone-laden confidence. Skip the emotions. Over time, she may warm up to you and start doing things for you again. If not, you tried and gained some important social skills which will continue to serve you in other areas of your life. You’ll then need to decide if you can live with the dynamics of the relationship.
OP, I also think it’s worth giving it a second shot. Read the above article, it’s very pertinent to your situation.
Basically, if you want your GF to become attracted to you again, you need to stop any and all unattractive behaviors in yourself.
It’s a very long process but it has to start sometime, otherwise you will inevitably end up repeating these patterns with the next girl and the next and the next..
Pheromones it a fantastic ADD-ON when you’re a highly attractive man with options and goals in life. But they can’t fix things if everything else is off kilter to begin with.
Have a read around Franco’s site after you finish the above article, the man seriously knows what he’s talking about.
Maybe the article is worded badly, but it was a highly discouraging read! It makes all women look like cold, calculating sociopaths incapable of loving a person. Not to mention dumb, for intentionally killing off her attraction for her significant other. (Well, my ex was a lot like that, but I digress.) But it does make me hesitant to be in any relationship. I’ve noticed an unfavorable change in my friends after they entered LTR’s. We used to go on 10-mile hikes, work out in the gym, and visit automotive museums. You know, guy stuff. Now, their entertainment consists of couples-type activities with their significant others. They claim they “grew up”, but this guy would disagree. Not to mention there’s nothing immature about hiking, gyms, and old cars.
And honestly, constantly looking out for these beta-tests, making sure I pass them, fending off attempts to beta-ize me, and making sure I do all that without her calling the police (who will automatically take her side), is just too much damn work! I’d much rather direct that energy toward my career, learning a new language, getting a private pilot’s license, or improving my game for finding ONS’s. I already have a few flight hours in my logbook, along with pictures in my phone, which make for great pick-up stories. They helped me get laid on a cruise once.
Were relationships always this horrible for men? If not, when in history they did become that way?
you know, that was pretty much EXACTLY my gut reaction the first time I read something of Franco’s.
But then I started paying real close attention to the women in my life. And I discovered that not just some of what he writes about, but ALL of it was 1000% true.
Sure, it’s discouraging at first, but you can’t blame a hungry lioness for trying to eat you, you just don’t go traipsing into the bush alone, at night, unarmed.
Look at it from the reverse perspective:
Do you think women cheer at the thought of having to endure innumerable come-ons from uncalibrated guys who try to bribe or lie their way into their panties?
Or having to deal with the fact that any attractive man eventually, at some point in time, WILL cheat on or dump them when a hot enough female competitor zeros in on him…
Biology isn’t fair, evolution isn’t fair. It just IS what it is, and the fittest adapt and thrive, the rest is forgotten.
Well, yeah, but the author could have worded it better. He makes all women look like conniving sociopaths. Although, wives and girlfriends on many TV shows fit this trope to a T.
I’ve read similar literature before. So while I’m developing a proper war strategy against being beta-ized (other books use the term “tested”), I’m staying away from all LTR’s. Fighting a lifelong war against my girlfriend beta-izing me, the person I’m supposed to love, is just plain unsustainable. Kind of like the War on Drugs or the Prohibition. Not to mention that it’s a war where I’m both the officer and the grunt.
ONS’s and short-term flings I find may infrequent, but with my lower sex drive, compared to 5 years ago, it’s manageable. I also have a good number of female friends, who treat me with nothing short of utmost respect. I flirt with them and bust their chops, but it’s just lighthearted play.
I actually had a girlfriend, 2011 thru 2013, who was very good at beta-izing me, by means of constant yelling and massive outbursts at little things. Silly me didn’t catch on until it was too late. At which point, I broke up with her, and told her that if she contacts me again, I’ll have her arrested. The last thing I said to her was “I wish I never met you!” I had saved copies of the raving, hysterical messages she sent me, and she knew better than to mess with me further; because years prior, I had a guy arrested for threatening me.
It’ll also be interesting to observe my friends’ LTR’s. So far, the signs are as encouraging as Franco’s article, lol. They’ve already abandoned our perfectly non-immature shared interests—hiking, working out, car museums—in favor of spending more time with their girlfriends.
I suppose it’d be interesting to see how the traditional notion of love and PUA-type evolutionary biology reconcile. It’s also interesting that female friends respect me more than my girlfriend ever did. But those are topics best left to separate threads.
