Hello everyone, I’m an Asian guy with the age of 19 going on 20 soon. First of all, I’d like to apologize in advance if my grammar is a bit funny since English is not my first language (or second language for that matter), so bear with me here. 
I’m hopeful to learn more about pheromones as it might improve my life greatly (more on that later). To tell the truth, I’ve been roaming around the forum for quite a while now and it is certainly a warm community with a lot of bright and brilliant people. Therefore, I’m quite comfortable sharing my secret with y’all that I’ve never EVER told anybody in my entire life before. Hopefully this wouldn’t offend anyone, to put it simply, I’ve just found out recently that I’m gay.
It’s hard for me knowing this truth about myself and lately, it’s been draining my confidence and social skills. You might think I’m overreacting so I should tell you a bit about my life here. As a child, around grade 3, I’ve always known I’m different, you know, with my female-like behavior and stuffs. I get mocked and laughed at by all my friends all the time. So, my childhood was pretty bad, feeling as an inferior, lesser and insignificant. My father scold me all the time, told me that a man shouldn’t act queerly and tried to teach me to be more manly and so I did.
My high-school life was an improvement, I was the typical jock of the school and fit in with everyone else just fine. I joined the basketball team and make great friends with my team member. I also joined modeling company, doing few shots for commercial poster and magazine. Moreover, I had a girlfriend who I’ve been courting for a long time and we would go on a date and make out. Yes, life was great. I was the person who everyone turns to and can respect. I don’t feel like a minority anymore but deep down, I knew something was not right and so did my girlfriend. During prom night, I didn’t show enough “affection” for her and not so long later we broke up and she immediately went after one of my friends which make me hurt badly.
Not going into too much detail, I later realized I’m gay. Lately, I can only imagine myself with other men and I only have erection with them so yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m gay, the thing I’ve been avoiding all my life. (On top of that, I just couldn’t help but falling for westerners especially Europeans.) My father and I have drinking night once in a while and when he’s drunk he would always tell how much he hates gays which is putting a lot of stress and pressure on me. Not only that, my mother frequently talks about how man is suppose to be with woman whenever she sees gays around the town. So telling my parents is out of the question. Not having anyone I can turn to, the feeling I used to have as a child start coming back, feeling like an inferior. I start losing confidence about myself when I’m outside. I noticed myself very, very socially awkward whenever I’m with friends at clubs/bar or elsewhere.
To conclude, I’m here because I would like to improve my social life and along the way, find a person I could really love. I’m pathetic, I know that, but I hope you can imagine the pain I’m going through. I was hoping pheromones could make me feel that feeling again, being the center of attention and one who people can respect. I was hoping to find a guy that I can relate to also. It is hard enough to find a soulmate being straight, it is 10x harder being gay (so I’m hoping here that pheromones can help me in this part). To clarify a little, I’m perfectly normal as a male, no girly stuffs, I just happen to like guys (and it still feels a little weird, like it’s something wrong). Normally, I wouldn’t post my problems on the internet. Heck, I rarely touch my computer but this is an exception.
Now that’s out of my chest, sorry for the very long intro. Anticipating to make friends here and thank you for your time reading this stupid life of mine.
PS. My Asian name is hard to spell so just call me Dominic or Dom. Thanks Steve and Mickaelia for adding me as a friend.
