Hi, newly-liberated Muslim here (Vancouver)

Introductions - New Users, Say "Hello"!
1

Hey everyone,

Before I introduce myself, I’d just like to say thank-you for making such a great forum. Y’all are probably tired of hearing all the accolades, but it can’t be said enough about the improvement you’re making in people’s lives.

My name is Marwan, and as you probably have guessed, I’m from the Middle East. I’m 20 years old, and have lived my entire life in Canada. My parents, God bless 'em, brought out entire family here to escape war. Considering all things, I’m very lucky; that is, if you don’t include the excessive body hair (with “accentuated” eyebrows) and zero love life. :smiley:

While well intentioned, my parents have guarded my actions like a hawk. I’ve never had a girlfriend in my life (not even a secret girlfriend), and very, very few friends who just happen to be of the opposite gender (the track of Schindler’s list playing in the background :stuck_out_tongue:). Extremely religous, extremely conservative-think Taliban but without those cool Toyota trucks. In a place like the west, it’s extremely suffocating.

Of course, the inhibitions are there. For me, it’s just a personal victory to ask a girl what time the bus is coming. It’s not that I’m a good conversationist. All guy friends think I’m funny, and I have the ability to be persuaive centre attention towards me. I can be intellectual (“While US intentions are noble, the ordinary Iraqi perceives it rather differently..”) to funny (“a single straight guy in SF is like an Oh Henry bar in a fat camp”). Believe me when I say I have perfected the art of mimicry-I can talk at varying levels, even mimicking accents to keep people around me at ease.

With girls, ahahahahaha. I’m like ol’ Dubya in a State of the Union address. :smiley:

So, I just looked at the situation philosophically. I can moan and whine until my parents arrange a marriage between me and my gigantic cousin Ursula, or fight my way through college and sow the seeds of a new liberated life.

As of now, I am officially free. New place, new career, new look (oh, did I mention I secretly worked out as my parents forbade it), new car and a positive outlook on life.

This is where this forum begins. I see you guys & gals as my teachers. Far be from me to ask you to allocate good time on some online weirdo, but I need inspiration and guidance. The pheromones are a great asset to have, but clearly, not the only one. I hope my time on this forum becomes a great learning experience for me and let’s me be successful in the whole dating game. I already missed the whole college dating scene, so there’s time to make up for.

well, I’ve ranted like a politician so I’m ending there. I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. :smiley:

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Hi Marwan,

Welcome to the forum!

It doesn’t sound like you have any problems with confidence :smiley: You did write quite a long post about yourself which is great as it helps us point you in the right direction when suggesting phero’s that would work for you…

I’m not sure I got what your objective with using phero’s is though… Do you want to use phero’s purely for dating, or are you hoping to boost other areas of your life too? General social situations, work, family life, self effects etc? Do you have any particular “targets” or effects in mind?

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Welcome Marwan,

My friend I think you should consider starting with the social products like instant openness and instant honesty, will draw people to you and help both you and them open up and connect. For attraction I think you should try Ammo, which is very popular with many members here.

Have a good read of The Mens Guideand let us know if you have any additional questions.

Steve should be online again soon to hand out gift certificates :wink:

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Hi guys, thanks for the welcome and links. Much obliged to you both.

This is really the crux of what I want:

-expand my social network i.e. more friends who just happen to be girls, initiate and carry on conversations without stress, be a focal point of parties & social events. In other words, I’d like to replicate my success in my interaction with guys with girls.

-dating: I don’t think the whole Charlie Sheen utopia is even possible, but it really wouldn’t hurt to try. :smiley:

TBH, I feel rather dismayed. I understand most of what I’ve went through was outside my influence, but I really hoped I could enjoy college life a bit more. Is it me or is it generally harder to date post-college? esp. with women aged 18-25?

5

HI Marwan,

Welcome to the forum.

For social networking, IO an dIH will help. IO will make you have more conversations with people. People, including girls will like to talk to you.
IH will make them talk deeper and more details with you. They will feel they know you for long time.

As for dating, AMMO will make girls attracted to you. It can make them sexually attracted too.

GOod luck

6

This is going to be the hard part because of your upbringing. You are going to need to work on you even before you add pheromones. Some of the guys could probably suggest some reading for you. Some may suggest some “PUA” materials. I would suggest you stay away from most of that (maybe some David D. material would be helpful) until later when you are more comfortable interacting with women.

Got some bad news for you, it’s not just you.

7

Welcome

Let me say this to you… Seeing as you are 20 and never been in a relationship with a female. I’d start out by not trying to get anywhere at all with them and view them as just one of the guys. Use the mones that people have suggested, but don’t expect to get anywhere with them. You need to work on your communication skills with woman first. Test and measure and test and measure again. Start small. Ask the girl what time the bus is coming again and then in the next breath tell her you are heading to such and such a place to do something interesting… whatever it might be. If she goes “cool” and turns away, that’s fine don’t worry about it. If she goes “oh really, I’ve done that before” keep it going buy talking about her and what she did (not you). Get on the bus and if she happens to get on the same bus, its your call if you sit next to her. Have a back up if it gets way to uncomfortable for you and you want to bail (baby steeps remember) something like have your ph in your pocket make a sound and look at it and say “sorry I have to take this”. But thank her for talking with you or nice to meet you. Next time you see her you now have something to talk about… you have a common ground from the first time you meet. Expand on it. Or say something like (if she”s a greeny) I’d take my car but its impossible to find a park in town… small stuff.. build trust and then she will end up doing all the talking till you feel happy to do some of it… trust me on this one, woman are complex creatures, but if they like you, they will talk your ear off if you give them the right feedback and that bit is simple (treat them like a mate, but don’t talk about yourself to much or offer advice unless they ask for it and if you do, keep it very brief).

All the best

8

Ha hahaha :slight_smile:
That was very funny.
Are we really all that scary to talk to?

I think that there are deeper issues here than pheromones and dating.
I also came from a very restrictive background, and was not allowed to partake of much of the ‘normal’ activities that teenagers do. People in that situation either stay sequestered and learn to live with it, or they make bold strides and overcome it.

Taking control of your life when parents don’t want to give over the reins is not easy, or simple. It is complex, time consuming and exhausting mentally and emotionally. So take it slow, like Alfa said, and make one step at a time.
Pheromones are a great tool that can help you accomplish what you’re setting out to do, but they are not a cure-all, nor will they change who you are, only how you are perceived.

Set goals for yourself, and make sure that they are reasonable. Don’t expect to be the life of the party if you never were before. Go attend some parties, though, and meet some people. Getting your own place to live and a new job, etc. have probably gone a long way toward making you feel like you’re a capable, confident person who is in charge of his own life. Good. But owning your future doesn’t end there…it is demonstrated in every choice you make.

From now on, promise yourself that you are not going to make any choices just to please others.
Don’t pick out curtains for your new apartment because your mother would approve.
Don’t base your menu choices on what your date is eating.
Don’t buy into other people’s ideas of who you should be.

There is a fun, unique and fascinating man waiting to emerge. It’s time you got to know him.

9

Hey Marwan, I think Moonwhisper’s give you some excellent advice there.

I think you’ve picked up a bunch of negative beliefs about women from your parents. e.g that it’s wrong to talk to girls, or have sexual interest in them. Of course you know intellectually that it’s OK, but there is some unconscious thing that is stopping you. I can recommend Vin DiCarlo’s “Attraction Code” to you. It’ll help a lot. Also look at the Sedona Method, it’ll help you release the tension you’re feeling when talking to women.

Good luck and have fun.

10

Thanks guys and gals for taking the time to respond. The advice was top-notch.

From the way it sounds, I guess I have a long way to go. Not that I’m too disappointed as the whole excitement in ‘doing everything for the first time’ is running very high at the moment (I went to a night club for the first time. I was as excited as a teen girl watching the Jonas Bros live :stuck_out_tongue:). I also have a (sympathetic) sister who has a keen fashion sense and is helping me get a makeover i.e. attire, hair, etc.. I know moonwhisper mentioned that I shouldn’t buy other people’s assumptions about how I should be, but surely changes like that could only boost my confidence level?

As for not going too far, could it be possible that the confidence I need is putting myself in the frontlines as soon as possible?:smiley: In other words, tackling some of the more complex dating rituals, so the smaller ones seem like a less of a hurdle? I’m not sure, I’m just freeballing ideas at the moment.

Someone also suggested I try and develop a new network of friends. My friends are great, but they’re more of a “dude, I like so got the latest path for World of Warcraft” kind of friend. I like them, but maybe I should try seeking guy friends who are alpha males, party out alot, etc. etc. Does that make any sense i.e. the idea that their confident behaviour will rub off on me and I can meet new people?

I’m also considering enrolling in the local campus for some liberal arts courses (when I’m not at work) just to try and relive the college life a bit.

Well, whatever happens, the skys’ the limit and hopefully, I won’t be alone in this endeavour. Thanks guys again for your great replies.

P.S. Not to sound like a stickler, but where them certificates?:smiley: Me be needing them for some scientific experiments.

11

Now, see…there’s the rub. If a makeover is something that YOU want to do, my all means avail yourself of your sister’s expertise. Just don’t submit to a makeover because someone else thinks you need it.

What I was trying to say is that you have incredible value and interest because you are a unique, singular individual. There is no one else like you. Trying to fit yourself into someone else’s mold will leave you warped and hurt.
Just be sure to determine your course of action based on what you really want for yourself, not what others seem to think is right. If your desires just happen to be the same as others’, then rock on! You’ve found someone who thinks similarly to yourself.

I agree that this makeover process will boost your confidence. As such, it is a valuable tool.

As to your GC… it should be along before too long. Steve is severely overworked, and the Androtics team is short staffed at the moment. They’re not neglecting you, just running a little behind.
Try to be patient, it is worth the wait.