Hmm...Curious...

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

sometimes I am extraordinarily attracted to a guy and I just don’t know why. I mean it’s not like he isn’t attractive or anything, but for some reason I can’t keep my eyes off him! I have heard like in psychology that a big part of attraction is pheromone related, and that when we are most attracted to someone it’s because our pheromones and whatever match up perfectly and we’d have the most success mating with them… I’ve also realized recently that since I was 13 I’ve been really interested in tall guys w/o being conscious of it. I myself am quite short…are these subliminal reasons for attraction pheromones?

Sorry this seems long winded but there’s a guy who lives near me on campus who I’m attracted to like this and I’ve never even spoken to him!

2

I dont know. I believe that were attracted to people like us, and people we are consciously (or unconsciously) looking for.

In other words: If a woman was abused as a child, she may grow up and date abusive men, If she chooses to dwell on that horrible childhood. She would be comfortable being around those men, and she would attract them.

I hope that helps you.

3

I did hear, and assume it’s true to a point, that we naturally look for opposites when we feel attraction. Like you said, short to tall, dark features to light, and between races too - apparently mating with an opposite creates genetic variety in the community and the offspring will be more immune to disease and stuff too, if I’m right.

Unfortunately at a personal level, this means that I feel attracted to my opposites, usually, but that squashes the chance of me being with them! Haha.

4

LOL Good goddess that wasn’t long winded at all…:smiley:

Its hard to say exactly why we attract to what we do because there are many factors that help determine those choices.

Attraction dosent consist of just pheromones. They do play a important part though in our choices.

Studies have been done indicating that women attract to the pheromone signature that closely matches there fathers MHC genes. These are immune system genes. They also indicate this is why many women who grow up in a abusive households sometimes end up with a abusive partner. Personally I think that is both pheromonal and a conditioned thing myself.

I feel pheromonally it go’s a little deeper then just being attracted to our fathers MHC signatures though. I feel we attract to those who have both similar signatures to our fathers and men with stronger genetic characteristics so that our offspring will be strong.

Body language also plays a important roll in attraction. You generally dont even know your reading it or projecting it but all mammals do including humans. It sends a message about your characteristics and personality. Women tend to go with men who have strong dominant confident body language but not always. I have been studying body language for longer then I have pheromones and what I noticed in my female friends is the body language of there SO’s or husbands are again the same or very similar as their dads and male siblings.

A few of my single friends whose fathers I know seem to do the same though. My friend ME in particular stands out. She is shy, introverted and kind but has a hot Italian temper if you get her going. Not violent just passionate. So does her father. It shows in both there body language and personality though. Her body language and the body language of men she gravitates to match that of her and her father. Generally more shy laid back men who can become passionate or temperamental if pushed. Oddly she complains about the very characteristics she possesses and gravitates to in her boyfriends.

Then there is visual attraction which we can be more conscious of then other forms of attraction but also works on a subconscious level. I think visual attraction can be a combination of both what we are conditioned to and mental preferences.

For instance, suppose your dad had blond hair and he was a total prick. His character has nothing to do with his hair color but we connect it on a subconscious level. So we tend to go for men with dark hair.

Suppose you looked up to your father, he was a great guy with blond hair. Again subconsciously you associate his hair color with his character and may attract to men with blond hair.

Then there is totally conscious attraction. These come from our mental preferences or basically what we consciously want. For instance some women say… I want a guy who is responsible with a good job. I want a guy who dresses nice. I want a guy who is popular. I want a guy who is great with kids. I want a guy with the same interests as me. Stuff like that.

All of the above can be the reason you sometimes find yourself attracted to men you wouldn’t generally attract to on a conscious level. They dont match your wants and needs but they match your subconscious and biological preferences.

I have found that my husband is very similar to my father in body language, build and certain aspects of his character. I tend to be attracted to dark hair and eyes. Both my father and my brothers have dark hair and eyes. I tend to be attracted to tall men. All the females in my family are semi short. My mother is 5’3 (or she was when she was young) My sister and myself are 5’5 but the males in my family are all very tall. My father 6’1 and my brothers 6’5 and 6’7 My husband is 6’2. Even body hair plays a roll. My father and my brothers have longer hair but very little if any body hair. (my father is 1/2 American Indian). I tend to like long hair on men but not body hair.

Now that was long winded LOL Its a fascinating subject though.

Tisha

5

Oh wow tisha23, that is SO awesome and interesting to know. I love this forum, I’m learning so much here, even within the last couple of days! Mmm love it. :smiley:

6

Another interesting biological factor is that height is an indicator of high testosterone. Helen Fisher has written extensively in relation to attraction and chemistry, well worth a read if you are interested in this area i.e. hormones and neurochemicals resulting in attraction or non attraction as well as effecting individual’s personality. I am also sure that she has some lectures on youtube and her stuff is very easy reading/ viewing.

Lainy

7

This is fascinating stuff, indeed. I’m new here, so I’m learning a lot. I have two questions along these same lines…and I apologize if these have already been discussed.

  1. I’m a lesbian. If straight women are attracted (either consciously or unconsciously) to men bearing similarities to their father, are lesbians attracted to women bearing similarities to their mother? When I was in high school, I was attracted to women in the arts. I always got crushes on women who were in choir, band, & theater. My mother, when she was that age, was into all of that. However, I was also in band & theater & primarily hung around w/ girls who were into those things, as well. Was my attraction based on things that my mother enjoyed, or because I was around these girls so much?

In my adult life, there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to my romantic crushes. In the past 4 years, I’ve been interested in an average sized feisty Italian, a short, snarky, Jewish geek, and my tall, fairly bubbly personal trainer. These three women don’t share any physical resemblance at all…and little to no resemblance to my mother, physical or otherwise.

  1. I’m pretty sure this has been discussed, but I wouldn’t know where to begin searching. Since attraction is somewhat pheromone related, is there a chance that by wearing different pheromones we could deter potential partners that would otherwise be attracted to our natural pheromone signature?
8

Hi Penguin
It is certainly a complex area involving biology, psychologyl and social factors. who said life was simple :slight_smile:. So not necessarily linked to parental influences or the like attracts like mode of thinking. Anyway I’ll try to find some good links which can explain a little better than I can.
Hope you have a good weekend and I’ll post a link soonish to explain recent science evidence.
E

9

This is all just my opinion on the question and nothing gathered from hard scientific data. Science still is unsure in this area. But its a great question that needs more research.

I would have to say it doesn’t mean you would look for the characteristics of your mom such as hair eyes and build unless you were aware of your sexual orientation as a very small child. (5 to 8) However you mentioned you knew in high school so you could be looking for some interests in other females that made you feel connected or closer to your mom. This type of attraction is conditioned response. Do the women you have been attracted to have any of the emotional qualities of your mom ?

Obviously you would not be looking for your fathers pheromonal characteristics because those are connected to producing strong offspring. Not that lesbians dont want kids but they have to go about becoming parents differently then hetero couples. So maybe its your mothers signature the emotional sensitive nurturing type pheromones that trigger your pheromonal attraction. Depends on your moms pheromone characteristics though.

From what I have gathered from a few lesbian friends I do have they didnt consciously know they preferred women until there early 20’s but always felt like something was not “right” with them. (I am not saying there is something wrong with being a lesbian I am referring to how they conveyed to me on how they felt). As they matured sexually it became more apparent until something made them come to the realization that they were not attracted to men and were attracted to females. This made them finally feel “right”. There feelings made sense finally.

Think back to the moment you realized, to that moment it felt right for you. Who did you admire or who triggered that realization. Most likely that is who you condition your preferences after.

Pheromonally, They have only tested EST and A1 and they respond to both of them. Sexually more to A1 which is the male counterpart to females EST. Emotionally more to EST. Women are more emotional, even lesbian women and Its just my opinion but I think the emotional availability and sensitivity is part of what attracts women to each other.

Body language also seems to play a part but again its not apparent in lesbians. Some women are more attracted to butch types why others are more attracted to feminine types.

Its still a bit of a mystery but just being aware of it and talking about each persons experience and preferences helps us all discover more and more. Plus who knows maybe one of the putatives being tested is the “one” that signals sexual attraction in women.

Right now mixes that seem to work the best are those women use to attract men with a small amount of the masculine mones mixed in.

Tisha

10

Are you sure that some people want to be with others that share similar genetic make-up? I have been told and taught contrast vastly to that tnotion …

I thought most girls would be repelled by those that share similar MHC genes - this is according to real micro/immuno studies, not pheromoneal studies. The reason is that the MHC markers signal immunological variability of the human body; obviously, the more diverse you are ( a wide array of immunity) the stronger chance of survival you have, since you have more human leukocyte antigens to detect and fight off viruses/bugs/bacteria.

Therefore, it makes A LOT of sense when one says that “He reminds me of my father or brother, so I don’t want to be with him.” In order for human to survive and continue to replicate, they have to acquire more AND better genes with each generation - it is necessary for the survival of the fittest. You can’t be stagnant and just replicate within your own gene pool. That is why there are some studies suggesting that those that develop diseases and hereditary problems most frequently mate within locals and same race, while those marry outside their own villages and race tend to have the strongest infants. Yes, it is GOOD to marry someone PHYSICALLY DIFFERENT than you. Their children would have chance to develop physical supermacy quicker. Just find someone who connects with you emotionally and spiritually though… Also, make sure they don’t have a bad family history of some diseases…

Height and strong physique was necessary for survival up until a few thousand years ago. Those that were taller and buffer were able to beat up little beta ones and provide goods for families. Therefore, this was VERY ATTRACTIVE quality to females. However, these days, those that have the most SOCIETAL INFLUENCE decide everything and they are the ones that women are attracted to. No wonder, women MOST LOVE men with wealth, power , and status. These EASILY trump height, looks, or even personality. Sucks but that is the sad truth. women are gold-diggers by NATURE, esp these days.
Likewise, hot sexy females win over guys MOST OFTEN over nice, sweet, and even well-educated girls that do not have good looks. It is just what most men prefer…

11

There are conflicting opinions but here are the studies.

Women are attracted to men who smell like dad

Martha McClintock is in the top of the pheromone research field.

Women attracted to men who smell like dad - 21 January 2002 - New Scientist

Paternally inherited HLA alleles are associated with women’s choice of male odor - Nature Genetics

MHC-assortative facial preferences in humans

This is a physiological response to the fathers behavior not pheromone signaling. There are tons of studies on why women that grow up with a abusive father who consciously dont want to end up with a man like him and will verbally say it. However they end up with the same abusive qualities. They found that its the MHC genes, BL and bodily features are similar in both males.

While humans have evolved and consciously make mate choices through social influence our subconscious minds are still highly instinctual. Women still prefer the strong characteristics and features. However its not because those characteristics can beat up the betas. Betas beat up betas. Alpha are not threatened by them so they are not inclined to bother with it. The reason is not just survival of the fittest its survival of the species, these men produce the strongest offspring.

I think there are some women who are gold diggers. Its a matter of maturity IMO. They are not physically attracted to the person in any way just there money or material things. Those relationships are usually short lived though.

In many cases it ends up being the same as above with the women who say. “I dont want to be with him he reminds me of my dad”. Some women will say “I want a guy who makes good money” then they end up falling in love with a poor guy like good old dad and say I dont know why he is not my type at all. :smiley:

There are two types, the type we consciously attract to because of superficial preferences like money, nice car, clothes etc etc and the type we biologically attract to due to instinct and common character, Pheromone cues, characteristics, values, goals, beliefs etc etc. Instinct usually wins out. If it didnt the species would dwindle.

I dont agree with this entirely. I think its a matter of maturity as well. Younger men have the same conscious superficial preferences but when they are done “sowing their wild oats” they are looking for the strongest carriers for there offspring. That’s why when they settle down its usually with a smart nice sweet girl.

Many people ask "well then why do older mature males eventually go after younger women ? " The same reason. Men can breed well into old age. Women cant so when they approach the end of the breeding cycle the men start looking for more fertile women. Unfortunately by then they are no longer the strong biological breeders so women dont instinctually attract to them.

CK I want you to remember what I am about to tell you because someday when your married to some hot girl you can think back and say “Hey that old lady Tisha was right” LOL

When you find her you wont love her because she is hot. She will be hot because you love her. :wink:

Tisha

Pheromones and their relation to their owner
12

Sucks, but is the sad truth? Not to short guys whom have worked their asses off to be successful and to compensate for being wee! However I recall in HS and college the buff tall guys got way more poon than the skinny and smaller guys. Later in life, accomplishment, social status, power and wealth become more important as attractiveness. I’m only 5’8", but successful and well known in my profession, and have all sorts of women falling all over me. In college I could barely get a date and I was much cuter! Of course I mainly marry and date Asian women, so I’m actually considered on the tall side! But a surprising amount of White and Black women hit on me and they are often my height or slightly taller.

I don’t think women whom are attracted to men because of their accomplishment or status are necessarily gold diggers. My impression is women more attracted to the total package whereas men tend to be more physically oriented.

13

Honestly? It was Catherine Bach, aka the original Daisy Duke. I was around 4 years old, lol.

Seriously, though, I’ve given this lots of thought today. I’ve always been attracted to girls/women w/ a sense of PRESENCE. Not necessarily women who are popular or light up the room when they walk in or loud & boisterous women, but I always sense that they’re there. And they’ve always been modest about they effect they have on people. This is based on a lifetime of crushes, from 5th grade, 7th grade, 3 big ones in high school high school, & throughout my adult life. That’s really the one thing they all have in common. Even though they’re not popular, they have a small following of admirers.

That’s the one thing they share with my mom. This is better than therapy, lol. The more I think about it, the more I’m certain that very well could be a pheromone response. I have a hard time coming up with an answer when someone asks me what my “type” is because my crushes have pretty much run the gamut. I know I’m not really attracted to overly butch women or overly femme women…but that’s about it. The rest of the spectrum is fair game…as long as they have a presence? Does that even make sense?

I’m really digging this site. I never really thought the laws of attraction were so complicated, but I’m really learning a lot.

14

There you go, you knew at a relatively young age so its likely your modeling your preferences after your mom. I think the younger generations become more aware of there sexual orientation or maybe more open about it at younger ages. Being gay is not as “taboo” as it once was. Humanity still has a long way to go with its prejudice and hang ups of course but just like in racial prejudice we are slowly moving forward one generation at a time.

(snort) Dbot just passed out. He is a member here who is a therapist. :smiley: Its not really better its just cheaper. Therapy is just talking basically. Asking the right questions to make people look beyond their conscious thoughts and conditioned responses. Not dissing therapy or anything, I think its important for some people with serious issues but just talking can be therapeutic as well.

Tisha

15

Being physically attracted to someone’s looks is just one factor in the total equation that adds up to a successful LTR. Yeah, he looks good but does he smell good? When you get up close and their scent just isn’t right, it can be a total turn-off, like you found out they were an asshole or mean spirited. It’s chemistry, baby. Seems the nose knows better than the eyes in the long run. But it isn’t the last word in attraction. It’s one component among many to be considered.

It has everything to do with sniffing out Mr./Ms. Right and how taking The Pill effects our choice of mates.

Signals are misconstrued by the use of birth control pills because birth control pills affect the production of copulins. It should make women think seriously about using the pill if they’re looking for a long term relationship. It’s important when you’re in the first stages of what could be a serious relationship to keep yourself as natural as possible. You need your “natural” senses to be optimal. It’s like bonding with your baby…you don’t want to use any artificial pheromones during that period…you want them to know what mommy really smells like. :slight_smile:

If nothing else it’ll get ya thinkin’ about the probable consequences of using chemical birth control when you’re hoping to truly perceive a potential mate and for him to truly perceive you.

Bella