I’d like to solicit some feedback from the ladies. As men, there are characteristics in a women that automatically trigger our attraction responses in our biochemistry. In my studies, I have found that there are few factors that make up feminine attractiveness on a universal level. Facial symmetry, larger eyes, plump lips. 70% hip to waist ratio. Large/proportional breasts, full, shiny hair, color contrast between eye color/hair color, height and weight ratio between golden mean. Smooth skin. Men mostly respond to visual stimuli, because in the past, these were the best indicators of genetic superiority and the chance of survival from the offspring. For women, the attraction triggers are different. I’d like to get your opinion on what you believe the “automatic” attraction triggers are. I.e. before you talk to the guy and get a sense of his frame. So, here goes the poll.
What are your top characteristics of a man that is automatically attractive to you in the first 3 minutes (See Poll above)
I voted for height, the way he looks at me, the eyes as triggers but I am having a hard time seperating it. There is more to attraction for women then just the above triggers, as you mentioned, men are visual but women at least the ones who are not superficial look for more then that in a man before attraction will occur.
You can be hot as hell rich and powerful but that dosnt mean we will be attracted to you. We just think your hot.
For guys attraction occurs like this Appearance = Attraction
For women its Persona > Appearance = Attraction
So for me at least…
Alpha personalities, its something you can see in the way he carries himself before you ever speak to them.
His confidence is a big one for me, not really his ability to “lead other men” but a guy who is comfortable with who he is. His ability to “get it done” without belittling those around him.
His treatment of those around him. Alot of people assume to be Alpha you have to be big or a tough guy. Thats not what being a alpha is. Its more of a confidence, self assurance, self respect. Those quailties come through in the way he treats the people around him. Its why I have never been big on the negging thing some guys do.(not referring to light teasing) We recognize it not as indifference or a higher value but as his lack of self assurance. The Alpha dosnt need to neg you, he knows his value and dosnt need to prove it to you because to have to prove it would lessen his value.
So if you added charisma and Alpha aura I would have voted for those.
They absolutely must be intelligent and have a good sense of humor, also a good heart, treat their parents well, and not swear. And they should like cats.
The intensity in the way he looks at you makes me shiver!
As for physical characteristics, I always melt over a jaw line and a chiseled bone structure. Dimples are over the top hot. Oddly enough, I prefer short men, preferably 2 to 3 inches taller than me (about 5’ 8" or so). There is nothing worse than hugging a guy with your face smashed into his rib cage.
For me number one is posture, so I chose muscle tonality as the closest choice. The “command presence” they teach military officers is the best. It immediately communicates a lot of attractive features. When I was younger, I used to like a slouchy, hands-in-pockets posture as well.
I also chose “the way he looks at you” for obvious reasons.
And voice tonality. My favorite is when a guy sounds like his natural voice is very loud and booming, but when he speaks to me he struggles to keep it quiet and almost gentle. Shivvers!
Most of these are, to use an 80s pop slang, no-brainers. However Tisha’s preference for men with beefy mitts was surprising. I guess I’m have to get hand implants…
Wow, interesting Hearing it first hand from the women is always different, no matter how many times you study it in PU. Keep it coming in!
Replying to Wind: In “Survival of the Prettiest” Nancy Etcoff (Harvard) referenced a cross cultural experiment from different tribal communities - asked to rate the attractiveness of a female face from a scale of 1-10 - the results were surprisingly similar, with some exceptions like nose size and some cultural differences like long ears from heavy earrings. Also, there is about a 70% hip to waist ratio in super models - all playboy models also fall into this category.
I notice men who are well groomed…who dress and act appropriately.
The ones who are confident enough to be open and at ease with themselves, and others, and treat the people in their company with respect and kindness.
Attractive to me:
Sure moves.
Deep voice.
Intelligence.
Quick wit.
Sexy side long glances.
Freedom of spirit.
Laughter.
Generousity.
I like manly men. No metrosexuals for me, thanks…no offense meant, just my preference.
Eyes…any color, expression is what counts.
Sexy forearms…to go with the manly hands. Gegogi, they don’t have to be ‘beefy’, baby, lol…just ‘manly’.
Chests, thighs, calves…not too hairy, not too muscular.
Butts…yeah, butts…love 'em.
Not too tall, i’m a little gal.
and feet…i like nice feet, people forget that feet are part of their body!!
However all of this can go out the window, in a heart beat, if the dude smells wrong/bad!!!
Say a bunch of guys are standing around talking about something and having a sort of rude/ignorant or mindless conversation about something (women’s breasts for example)…not saying all guys engage in this behavior, but some do…and I come up within earshot, off to the side, and spot this guy who clearly, by his eyes maybe is not approving of the things being said. Maybe his response is to throw his head back a slight bit while turning one shoulder away…an indication that he is rejecting the words. Maybe he slightly, almost imperceptibly (because he is classy and doesn’t want to publicly call his buddies on their ignorance) almost imperceptibly shakes his head or rolls his eyes at what he hears. Maybe his eyes just scream INTELLIGENT!
If he has set himself apart from his buddies in this subtle way, displaying intelligence where the majority seems to be lacking, he TOTALLY has my attention. Within 3 minutes. Without speaking, acknowledging or even being aware that I exist.
That’s just the example off the top of my head. I know that there are other ways guys display intelligence without opening their mouths.
Another thought…other attributes can point to intelligence as well.
A confident man tends to be an intelligent man.
I’m talking about true blue confidence with utter stability.
I’m NOT talking about the cocky, arrogant, ego-driven, so-called confidence display, which is really just a show. THAT tells me a guy LACKS confidence!
I LOVE a guy who knows how to think!
My endocrine system kicks in FAST for guys who move with the masculine grace that is particular to martial artists and dancers. Say, guys who move like Patrick Swayze.
I once met a martial artist. Kind of Geeky looking-- until he did the Dragon Dance-- Power and Grace!
Hearing it first hand from the women is always different, no matter how many times you study it in PU. Keep it coming in!
