In the twin topic in men’s forum, ‘men opinion of women’, there were subtle hints of those few attractive traits of what a woman sees as attractive in a male.
Confidant looking average, or looking seriously hot that may (you keep hoping) be confinant beyond his looks, who you turn your head to, who you’d spend the night talking with.
There is only a few dozens of us here, so we have the limited luxury of being almost exclusive for the time being. It won’t last, soon we’ll have thousands here.
In the twin post I typed what I think, not what the book said, real life and nothing academic, and will keep it up.
A pity there is only a handful of ladies who post, but will ask anyway.
Intelligence, GSOH, senstivity, he knows himself and is his own man, and he does NOT try to control me, he listens to my opinion without mouthing off, THEN puts his point across, he understands that when I need quiet “Me” time, I am not withdrawing, he is there for me, he looks after me, but understands I am highly independant, so knows when to back off. HOT sex.
I don’t need “me” time as often as that, by any means, but I DO need it every so often, and I need the person I am with to be aware it does not mean I am withdrawing from him in any way at all - it’s just time I need for me, so I can be on my own. It’s not necessarily time I put aside to go out wth the Girls or whatever, just time for me, myself and I.
I am very lucky in that “The Man” and I are both like this, and because we were strictly platonic best friends for well over 10 years before we progressed to being a lot more , we pretty much know each other inside out and back-to-front in any case. We have been through hell and back and supported each other through it all..
Yes, recall those posts, and won’t turn this into marriage thread .. You mention “The Man” often and in good light, that’s what most want and is hard to achieve, with or without papers.
The ‘me’ time is different from one person to another, as are the effects .. that’s why I asked. And yes it is important to have it clear and settled with the partner.
Adding on to Ail’s list: I really don’t think that any one physical trait in a man is more attractive than another. Everyone is different, and different women are attracted to different things in men. For example some women prefer blonde men- others would rather be with a brunette. Some like men’s buns, others are into a nice chest. What is really inportant is that you are clean and well-groomed. No-one likes a slob. …well some might get into that …
At any rate, I personally have never been much attracted to outrageously good-looking men, or what might be considered hot by Hollywood standards. Usually the good looks are accompanied by a big ego and dry personality.(But I hate stereotyping, so if there happens to be an good looking guy reading this, who also has a great personality, kudos to you.) So what attracts me, more than anything, are traits that are more intangible than physical attributes.
-A good sense of humor
-Kindness
-Intelligence
-A man who has a lust for life
That is a good point, Mak. I think confidence is a very desirable trait, but too much confidence can border on egoism. It is important to be comfortable in your own skin and to be happy with yourself: that is a very desirable level of confidence for both a man or a women. Let’s just face it, being down on yourself is not very sexy. It is difficult for someone else to feel good about you if you don’t even like yourself.
Ilsa, good reply, and fast. I hope Anone makes us men that fast someday.
And how you rate that ‘desired’ confidence, being the deciding factor in making a man attractive.
Of course you know I’m asking because that was the same point in the reverse thread a while ago, when it was debated if looks or confidence in a woman was the deciding factor in calling her attractive.
i guess i was trying to link confidence with charisma.
charisma facinates me, ive literally been obsessed with it my whole life,basically because its NOT all about looks- that would be too easy.
i love the threads about symmetry being what we subtly percieve to be attractive. i can see it proven in a LINE-UP maybe ,LOL, but thats hardly what we do in real life. we communicate, not line a bunch of faces up and grade them. and i find that it has NOT proven itself in real-life for me as well. so then i move on to every and any quality i can come up with, and find there is no one quality that makes/breaks any deal.
i have days when i feel i cannot lose, and though they are few and far between, thats what i try to zero-in on.
ive concluded there has to be another word for the kind of confidence that does not border on arrogance.
Once I get to know a man, what ultimately attracts me beyond looks and after a friendship has developed, is his heart. For example, he helps little old ladies, he takes in a wounded stray, he loves his grandmother and his children if he has them. He is kind. The more deep down kind of stuff.
Sheesh, I can tell you’re not a teenager! That’s mature woman talk. Younger women are oft attracted to men with lots of shiny objects, e.g., pimped out cars, bling, cool cellphones 'n stuff.
Well, I guess I’d fail that one anyway: no grandmothers, kids or strays (unless you count my ex-GFs). I do take really good care of my goldfish…
Interesting point on the waifs and strays I seem to have had a knack in the past for attracting them too. One of these days I’ll sit down and psycho-analyse myself to discover why if I had a choice between an attractive confident woman and a less attractive woman with a history of abuse and self esteem issues I’ll pick the less attractive one every time. My brother calls it the Knight in Shining Armor syndrome and jokes that I try to save every girl I start to date but I think on a fundamental level Its important for me to feel needed or useful. Maybe my own self esteem needs a little work.
Wow, Salsaguy, you hit the nail on the head! I’m attracted to the guy who wants to help and save us all. And from the men I know like that, maybe you’re right about the self esteem. There is a thread of seeking approval in all of them. What an interesting spin on attraction, huh?
And Georgi, I’ve changed alot in what attracts me through the years. But I never went for the shiny stuff, even when a baby.
I whet to a bar a couple weeks ago wearing a Guess shirt, burgundy with gold stripes, Hugo Boss jeans and lizard skin cowboy boots (bought after I hit it in Vegas). Yes, the shirt had shiny metallic gold stripes. And I could hardly believe the attention I got from women because of it. I suppose it gave them something to talk about but the shiny object thing worked far better than pheromones. They constantly wanted to touch my stripes…
Yeah a lot of the time standing out in outlandish clothes will garner a lot of attention especially from party girls.Guys have got it wrong when they think its better just to blend in with the crowd in terms of dress.Women like the kinda guy that takes care of himself it seems to demonstrate (in their mind) that your more likely to take care of them too.
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