hmm..what attracts me to a guy? I guess there’s the baseline physical stuff, but then it’s personality from that point on. I like guys that are aggressive without being rude, and who can easily express their attraction and most importantly treat me with respect, and don’t expect that i’m just going to fall for a line or two. I also like the ones that don’t give up after the initial shoot-down. far too many men don’t understand how a well-timed, well-paced seduction works.
As for the guy who i’ll spend all night talking to, well that depends on his conversation skills and personality. I can spend all night talking to anyone, just about, but it’s a special sort of chemistry i think between 2 people, to keep an interesting and engaged conversation going like that.
If one can speak in a genderless way, it seems to me that the most important thing is a strong core… hard inded to articulate what “core” is, although I think it has something to do with being well and truly tested by life, having survived the tests, and having grown from them.
In my limited existence, I have known, enjoyed and had to put up with basically three types of people…
One.. is the person who “never left home”… they know what they know, they aren’t too interested in knowing what they don’t know, and they don’t know themselves very well… tends to be boring, conservative, narrow, and gets worried and furrow browed about things that don’t fit their mental pictures about “the way it should be”… although they can be pleasant, nice enough people…
Two… is the person who went out, or got booted out, or escaped, or whatever, got slapped around, made use of, and resultantly develops a victim psychology, sees the world in topdog-underdog terms, usually overly ingratiating to perceived superiors and harsh or harsly petty with perceived inferiors… at worst can be the calculating paranoid, often found as creepy bureaucrats… sometimes resolves into the world weary man (or woman) “without any illusions”… they don’t so much actively grow from experience as figure out ways to dodge it. You will find many of them as regulars in out of the way bars.
Third.. is the person who may have been through many of the potentially formative experiences as the Second Type, however also brings an intense curiosity about life and a desire to adapt and learn from it. I guess the fundamental distinction here is being a Learner versus being a Target For Shitballs. The person who actively owns their experience, and can make it a source of meaning and growth isn’t so much a victim of misfortune as a creator of meaning. It’s a choice, an active decision… and it makes all the difference in the world.