lets say the rent is going up and you are an excellent tenant.
you always pay rent, you never break the rules, but this itty bitty problem surfaces:
you have found on two occasions men in your apartment while your in the shower.
yeah, they let themselves in, after all its in your lease that they can come and go as they please. (i checked this).
so, you go to the office to complain, and now they consider you a problem-tenant because you have asked that no one enter your apartment without your verbal permission.
heres the fun part-
you willingly leave, but cant help thinking of different ways you could leave with a bang-
you know,no one getting hurt but if you can leave and be remembered, what would/could you do,hypothetically speaking?
keep in mind the place is several acres big
i thought of:
**adding a plant to their lawn that would take over and cause them to have to re-sod for the rest of their days
**adding TUTH to their welcoming office
** sending a letter of thanks to the management,doused in something strong
Why not spill a bottle of double strength Instant Jerk in the living room, just as you’re leaving … and follow it with a bottle of Essence of Woman for good measure.
Even better, mix it with paint, and repaint the living room with EoW paint. They’ll never figure out how to get rid of the odor, and men will be entering without permission daily … for years.
Whatever you do, I wouldn’t do it to the apartment because it’s mostly the future tenants who would suffer. Doing something to their office would be much better - then they would have to live with it. Something very stinky, I’m thinking … and untraceable, of course.
That “come and go as they please” clause makes for one freaky lease … I’ve rented a lot of different places all over the country and never encountered that one … sounds like a good way for them to get their jollies. So sic 'em, I say.
Get wild violet seed and spread them across the entire lawn. They are almost impossible to get rid off.
option 2.
Get a chemical resistant bucket. Place it in the center of a grassy area. Put in bleach, amonia, and the works in the bucket. A heavy gas will spill out of the bucket and kill the grass in a pretty large radius.
Well, I figure every time they try to rent it out, they’d fail.
And they’d know they should have removed their clause.
It’d be better if someone came up with something that clues the management in to how inappropriate their clause is.
i.e. if you want to get your rocks off, here ya go - but you’ll regret it.
Paint an EoW bottle the color of the top of the hot water heater, drill a hole in the lid of the bottle, and superglue it to the top of the hot water heater. It will look like it belongs there, so they won’t easily figure out where the smell is from. They might eventually replace the heater if you do a good job of concealing the bottle.
It’s a good thing I decided to be good a couple decades ago, because I have a lot of devious brain cells left over from childhood that are itchin’ to be used.
i actually had them point it out to me.
and no, i have already thought about no one getting hurt.
i wouldnt sleep if even the office got hurt, thats not my way.
oh my yes, killing the grass would upset them dearly.
wild violet doesnt grow here in florida though, its not a problem
but there are things that are ,mua hahahaha…
see, i thought about salting the earth so that nothing would ever grow again.
i got that idea from The Simpsons-
flanders: i understand you had to cut all my flowers to use for your float , but did you have to salt the earth when you were done?
homer:smiles like a knowing mother yeahhhhhhh …
but honestly i dont think i want to kill anything.
Man, Quicksilver is so spot on about this hypothetical, mad-scientist dark prank stuff.
It would be creepy indeed to artificially “haunt” your previous apartment complex’s main office. It seems it might be a good thing to discourage new tenants from wanting to move in.
Could you imagine the power of doing this with 20 mcg/drop -none oil:
Contaminate all their telephone speaking orifaces, typewriters and keyboards, and computer fans? Stick a few drops in the grate of the fan and you can imagine that thing working all day to heat up and blow a mist of androstenone all over the office.
Dumping contents into the air intake vents of the minivan fleet they use to show possible tenants around. To have none infest the tiny little minivan vessel from the AC vents?
Stuck it in a squirt gun, and let your kid terrorize the entire office, squirting up the entire place? (omg, and how hard you would scrub him afterward? he is your secret agent after all)
Bribing the maitnance man next time he steam cleans the carpet to use your “special cleaning chemical” in the belly of the machine. You know those machines are only good for pushing dirt far far into the carpet pad…
Dousing all their pen tops in none? Or pouring a thin layer into their pen cups
Infiltrating the office store room and spritzing all the sheets of paper with none-laden haunt-juice. When they make copies, it will heat up in the printer and steam out of the copier vents, AND infest all the papers with un-washable none residue.
OHHHH: Taint their silk flower centerpiece.
Taint their REAL flower centerpiece. Send them real flower centerpieces and drop all the buds with your special haunt-juice. Who doesn’t automatically want to get a noseful of flower upon first site? You can capitalize on that opportunity…
… Looks like my imagination is running too wild.
I like quicksilver’s idea of mixing it in paint!
Then you can take into account how many of the office people are women? Maybe menstural synchrony takes place, and they will all be horny at the same time, and fierce and bitchy at the same time. Food for thought!
And if you add P79 or TAF to the mix to really punch up the poltergeist effects… Ohhh boy.
I actually thought of this one a few minutes after my last post. But yeah androstenone in paint is the best idea. Too bad you can’t hypothetically paint your walls.
Actually, is there a phero that makes you paranoid and suspicious? That’s what would need to go in the apt to truly help out the next tenant.
Ok, I’ll make a deal. Send even a sample size of none oil at any concentration, and I promise to put it on my secretary’s computer fan and report the results. Uh, I mean, hypothetically speaking.
Quicksilver
