Ok, so the italian festival was this weekend and after a week of saying hi and hello to random strangers to boost my confidence, I thought what the heck, let’s try to make a conversation. It was a lot harder than it looked because it was crowded unlike the park or mall. I did manage to say hi to some people and talked to people I knew, but for meeting hot women, I was afraid. There was this one girl who I smiled to, and she smiled back at me (I was wearing ammo + is at the time). Then I decided to make my trip back around the street to go talk to her. She was walked past me three times with her girlfriend, and her guy friend. All three times I failed to approach. However on Sunday, I did manage to meet a girl who I played tennis before and got her number.
However, I’m still upset with myself. That girl was ridiculiously hot, and I froze when I tried to make an effort to talk to her.
Anyone have anymore tips? Should I start to practice carrying on conversations this week when I visit the mall and the park?
have you tried books like ‘the venusian arts’ and ‘without embarrassment’? try them, you’ll probably learn a lot. also, have you heard the phrase ‘fake it till you make it’?
Man i think all guys at some point in time have the same problem. I definitely had to fake it till i made it and I am very happy that i did. And yeah sure i got rejected a few times (and laughed at by my guy friends) but i kept at it, and now Im the one laughing when I take a women home and my friends are sitting there dumbstruck. Dont get down man because first of all there are plenty of beautiful women in the world and just because you lost your opportunity to talk to one doesn’t mean you’ll never get a chance again. I’ve learned that gorgeous women are a plentiful if u know where to look. Just remember a closed mouth doesn’t get fed.
yeah i was the in the same shoes you are in. but the ONLY way is to KEEP AT IT. i mean, who are they to say that they are not good enough for you.? you have to internalize that you are a highly valued male in society, and act, carry and present yourself in that way.
i would say that Instant Gentleman of a314 can help you a ton with confidence and thinking things through
Great blog lots of great advice on approaching women and inner game methodology
I get the impression your relatively conversational but lack the tools to effectively get over some of your inner confidence eating demons - I would strongly suggest staying away from books on outer game methodology (MM) UNTIL you have managed some of those demons.
The fear can really prevent motion, and its understandable. Thank you for being so genuine.
Think of it this way… It comes down to pure statistics. If you are trying to get laid or meet the woman of your dreams, it all comes back down to numbers.
Time is to valuable to waste, and it makes sense to interface with as many women as possible. Its a numbers game. If you say hello to 100 women, chances are that you will get at least one number.
The hard part is convincing yourself to perform the necessary action of approach. Its mere practice. Any new art is difficult int he beginning, but you have to actually start before you can claim failure.
Struggling is good. That’s alot farther along than most people even get. Be willing to accept this fear of rejection and just go for it.
The alternative is inaction, and that’s not the point of putting yourself out there. Just practice, persistence persistence…
Congrats on managing to face the fears like you did. Next time you will perform even better.
Thanks Wrlprchnx. I’ve just read like six articles from that site, and some of them didn’t even have to do with approach anxiety; some articles just helped my knowledge about game. There was one article that said, "
Other guys, who had never approached a woman before, ended up with phone numbers and amazing experiences with beautiful women. All because they were willing to take that first step."
I’m feeling very positive about this because I’m just taking my first step. Nothing can be worse than being alone on a Friday night right? So I’ve been in the depths; one direction to go now, and that is up.
Stop reading all that PUA material, I can tell it’s not helping you. The best advice I ever got from a friend was “stop being a pussy and go talk to that girl”.
Amen brother. Reps. I figured out that I wasn’t going to get anywhere following a script or a pattern or a blueprint. After I found this site and discovered Instant Gentleman (thanks for the suggestion Tisha!) I got a much better sense of self confidence. That confidence (even if it was phero induced) helped me to see that I could use humor to get my foot in the door. If you can make a woman laugh (with you) then you have them.
LTD - there are far, far, far worse things than being alone on a Friday night
I imagine being alone is better than being the sole companion of a rapist interested in you, no?
Remember to keep perspective - a girlfriend is not the be all of existence and most certainly should not be the height of your ambition.
A girlfriend is a tool for acquiring present happiness through companionship and a potential tool for acquiring happiness through parenthood (although its not all sunny days from what I hear) and enduring partnership (which is different from companionship in some very fundamental ways).
I don’t know about you, but the prevention of occasional loneliness is ABSOLUTELY NOT my sole requirement for happiness - I need other things, and some of those things come from elements of my life that a girlfriend CANNOT PROVIDE.
In other words - if you give up everything to find a girl you will end up unhappy… unhappy guys don’t tend to keep girls around for very long and then you have nothing.
You want a girlfriend to be a compliment for your life - NOT to be a supplement.
I agree wholeheartedly Snoopy, scripts/patterns/routines are nothing compared to confidence - the site I suggested largely talks about methodologies for finding the confidence required to go talk to a girl. About overcoming the inner demons we face when we try to approach women.
You are right about the girl complimenting your life. I’m content right now; I love playing guitar and going to church. I believe I’ll be able to survive if I never get a girl, because I still enjoy playing guitar and being with God. So Wrlprchnx, you are definitely right about that. What I meant about being alone a friday night was that I was describing the worse that could happen, which isn’t that bad.
Hello Guys. I’m really new to this phero things. I just tell you that you have to have patience, there is something that can help you, that is patience. Try to implement pheros in a way that you can change the numbers of sprays, so let’s see, how is your performance. Thanks
