So tell me, phero ladies, have you seen increased jealousy from other women due to your phero-awesomeness? I have this acquaintance (I hesitate to call her a friend for a variety of reasons, but we interact pretty regularly) who I suspect is an alcoholic (but that’s beside my main point) who seems to struggle more with her issues of inadequacy when I wear certain phero mixes around her. She doesn’t make obvious gestures of envy and jealousy, which is why I say I think she struggles with it, but she makes subtle comments, jabs intended to insult until I call her on them (after which she says "I was just joking, tee hee!), etc. Her latest string of winners was her pronouncement that a guy I like isn’t into me because he likes artistic women (I paint and draw as a hobby, so ) and that she has a deep cerebral connection with him because he just inherently knows that she understands what he means when he talks about minutiae regarding his artistic hobbies (she has no concept of artistic endeavors whatsoever) and that they bond over a shared interest in psychology. Both of these are… not true in the slightest, but she thinks I don’t know that.
Not quite to that extent – but I do notice girls primping up around me more: the glances, voices get louder, straightening thier shoulders, fixing their shirts or their hair, or just an overall “more competitive” aura. Mostly at bars
i only get cattiness from strangers,
it isnt often because i find gals respond favorably to the mixes more often than not,
but female patrons at the bar will be curt and want me gone.
i have heard, “thanks we will let you know if we need you” upon my first visit to the table,
“we’re good” and then when a male visitsor a different female they suddenly need stuff.
normally that would not be cattiness, but when the guy is trying to order and the gal shoo’s me away, i take it as such.
I’ve only really noticed jealousy or cattiness from women I don’t know, usually it’s the girlfriends/partners of guys that stare a bit too much etc that tend to get a bit narky…
I think the jealousy thing has alot to do with personality and self confidence really… A good friend of mine is over weight and she has pretty bad acne… One could easily assume she’d be jealous or hurt by guys giving me more attention but she never is, (if she is she definitively doesn’t show it). Now she has very good self confidence and a very warm personality and I think that’s really the key
On the whole, I do very well with women in general. That said … I don’t need pheromones to occasionally elicit that reaction, from some women, even over the internet…believe it or not. The truth is it, really, has little to do with you. They manifest those feelings through their own insecurities. Often, it comes out in passive-aggressive remarks (i.e., “I was just joking”). Tee hee, my a.
Another neat trick is to put you down (your attractiveness, abilities), to try to make themselves look/feel more desirable. In the long run all they do is put people off and make themselves look petty. You’re right to hesitate to call her a friend, she’s not. Friends build you up, not tear you down and they certainly don’t compete, at least not in that way.
With strangers I can, usually, overcome their “jealousy” if given the opportunity. After having a chance to talk to them one on one, they usually find me friendly and down to earth and then discover I’m in no way in any type of competition with them. (They’re competing in their own minds. )
This is what I’ve found, ari. Some women must be the life of the party, all eyes on them. They’re not happy unless everyone in the room has their attention focused on them.
As to the guy you’re interested in…if she has it all over you because she thinks she so much better suited for him, then why isn’t* he* more interested in her? Hmm?
Every mix I’ve used when this particular girl reacted in a way that was noticeable to me was TAH-heavy. I use TAH almost exclusively (in mixes), unless I’m having a rough time of things and then I add TAL just to the chest.
The mixes I’ve used were:
MX135
IS/b
and my Instant Infatuation mix
I’m wondering if it might be a combination of the TAH making her think she can patronise me/“get one over on me” and the cops (which I use every day) making her competitive instinct rise. She’s already got low self-esteem/alcoholism, and I know I come across as very confident, together, somewhat aloof and unreachable but not overwhelmingly so. I think she feels very much in my shadow and is struggling against that. I’ve already snared one guy she had a huge crush on (unbeknownst to me at the time), and I think she resents that. She at least resents how I handled the breakdown of that, which was to distance myself from him when he got overly emotional. I don’t know how she would have handled it, but she obviously took his side, telling me she “was not convinced he’s the bad guy in this situation”. Welllll alright then.
It really depends on the person (obviously it comes from their personality) - Pheros don’t make people jealous, people get jealous if jealousy is a part of their personality. It’s a character flaw like Tisha mentions.
Usually when I wear pheros, girlie cliques (strangers) usually gather and either stare at me or act like they need to straighten up their blouses, or pull those tights up…etc. They get so self-conscious. I’ve seen this happen in the bus many times. And those actions didn’t seem too friendly to me.
In the bar, yes some women could get a bit grouchy if 1 woman had like 10 men surrounding her trying to get her attention. It makes some of them feel awful about themselves, because they don’t have that much attention from men that you’re probably getting. So there’s competition, and sometimes they could end up bi*chin’ at your face. Not that it happens to me all the time. But it has happened really randomly, and I just stand there thinking “okay…?!”
Why would anyone be jealous of you, Bella? I mean… well, you know what I mean! You rock and are cool, and any woman should be happy to be on good terms with you!
I’ve never been one to fight with a woman over a man. If a worthwhile guy is going to like me, he’s going to like me for me, and not because I bested some other girl in a silly tug of war. If some guy wants to take off with a chick over me because she cut me down behind my back, or undermined me in some way… well, she can have him, is all I say.
Right, but I’ve definitely found that certain phero combos create an environment where certain women feel the need to assert their dominance, or to topple who they’re perceiving as “the queen bee”. It’s the same with men and androstenone. Turn Up the Heat isn’t recommended for a biker bar, and I guess cops are unacceptable for a quilting circle.
i never see competing while i am just out and about,
but i began seeing just a little in the bar atmosphere.
i think there are insecure men and women everywhere in life,
but in a dating atmosphere where relationships are not anchored or cemented,
pheromones seem to bring some antsy-ness to a few.
I don’t see jealousy from other women. What i see is that younger women stare at me, and older woman smile at me, and usually women talk a lot if they are near me or if i ask them any question. I dont know what would happen in a bar, but those are the reactions that i get at the gym and at work. I think iam going to pay more attention in women behaviors, usually i only pay more attention to men and their behaviors lol
i think what you get is the way it was intended to be
i wouldnt look for anything other,
it seems like you rock n roll just fine .
in a bar atmosphere,
women are sometimes with guy friends for the first time, and dont want intrusions.
i think it bugs any one of us to get any negative reaction, even from other women, and so it is our nature to try to wrap our heads around it in order to feel better about it.
Aside from jealousy, I do believe women try to compete with each other naturally. A lot of it, like Bella states, stems from insecurities that tend to plague women more often than men; especially women who are more and more concerned with their own self image. ( i think it’s pretty common that women try to see how they stack up to other women like them financially too- in clothing, makeup, and etc)
The more attractive and successful you are, the more women will disdain and secretly envy you. Id take this “acquaintance’s” behavior as a compliment as it must say something about you ariadne
that was really interesting,cookiegirl.
intense even.
i also think that there are alternate realities where if you begin to ignore people in your life behaving this way,
or just choose not to notice them,
they really do become fewer and further between.
the article does make it sound very pervasive,
but take into consideration too that people who have an interest in these behaviours may have been inspired to take part in the survey.
i dont know, i think that about alot of surveys (you take part in those that push your buttons and therefore make the issue stronger)
I completely agree with that article. I remember reading not too long ago a quote by Helen Mirren, wherein she said defense attorneys like putting women on the jury of a rape trial because they are less likely to vote a rapist guilty. The reasoning is that women feel an instinctual sexual jealousy toward the rape victim, essentially being envious of the attention the victim received if not the end result. Her comment was that she totally understood and agreed with this assessment because women are fiercely competitive, even if they would never admit to such feelings or even have the capability of understanding/analysing them.
She got so much flack for that comment, mostly from… can you guess?
) and that she has a deep cerebral connection with him because he just inherently knows that she understands what he means when he talks about minutiae regarding his artistic hobbies (she has no concept of artistic endeavors whatsoever) and that they bond over a shared interest in psychology. Both of these are… not true in the slightest, but she thinks I don’t know that.
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