Dude, what I’m trying to get you to realize is that it’s not you that’s the problem. That’s what you need to believe. Seriously stop acting like everything you do is wrong because it’s not. Stop obsessing over the negatives and learn to move on from your mistakes. Everyone makes them. So next time, do what your heart desires, and don’t sweat the results. Chances are people will forget about them within a week. There is a saying in Albanian that says “cudia me e madhe 3 dit zgjat” Word for word, it says “The biggest scandals are only rememberd for 3 days” so a petty mistake that you made may seem big deal to you, but people forgot about it a long time ago. So don’t sweat it. Do what you have to do and if the results aren’t what you want them, don’t get obsess over it, just move on and try again.
the problem is that im an easy pushover. im starting kickboxing lessons. everytime i approach a girl thousands of amogs charge on me.
her orbiters protected her like guards, miserable fucks even provoking me to a fight. and i was even more stupid enough to tell her that, and she replied " he came because you said you liked him" maybe i couldve said that while i was abit drunk but it clearly wasnt the case. her orbiters appear nice to her but display peacocking only to me. but i wont give up
man i just needed a friend to talk in these fucked up times, i was already emotionally unstable. look at what i get. you cant be friends with fucking bitches. and she even told me shes a virgin. i shouldve fucked her brains out when she was at my place, no matter how innocent she pretends to be. seriously ill get pumped up (im athlethic), learn some skills and walk with confidence. i dont want to depend on my status.
Right on man. That’s what I’m saying. Don’t depend on their opinions of you, but instead build your own opinion of you with confidence and carry yourself with it.
Trust me, you’ll find that you’ll be respected a lot more when you make it clear that you respect yourself.
Here’s a serious suggestion that I think will work for you: Get P75. Not just for the effects it has on others, but mainly for the self-effects. It does wonders for self-esteem even when you’re not using it. It gives you huge amounts of self-worth when you’re wearing it that you start to wonder how you ever let yourself get treated in any different way. You start observing situations while wearing it where your regular self would have reacted differently, and it somehow starts clicking in your head.
Really, I can’t stress how much this stuff is useful for social anxiety and self-esteem issues. I, myself, have only been using it for less than a week now and have noticed an incredible change in the way I treat people and how I view myself. I have been off it for 4 days, washed my application points extensively, but my self-worth is still better than it was a week before. I find myself doing stuff I never thought I could do. I’m pretty sure it’s no build up effect.
Have you ever wondered how certain people can act with utter confidence and do whatever the fuck they want to do? It just lets you experience that mindset of “fuck what happened to me in the past, I’m all that matters and everyone around me doesn’t matter anymore”. Once you realize THAT, there’s no turning back. Of course, being off it won’t give you the same exaggerated self-effects you get from it, but it sure does help a lot to put you on the right track to pull yourself out of any regrets about who you are. I swear I owe the people on this forum a lot for suggesting it in a thread about SAD, and now I’m passing that same suggestion on to you.
You won’t regret it, and you can thank me later once you’re done taking shit from people 
.
this is gold. at this age i dont have your maturity, but im getting better. when you have loser childish parents like me you need to teach everything yourself or you will become like them. i worked for years in an isolated enviroment under my father, so my social skills are fucked up but again i dont give up. my opinion is awesome, if i dont see anything better that fits MY logic, from now on ill keep supporting it.
boxing lesson was good. even trainer amoged me and hit the girls, but i didint give a single fuck and carried confidence. god help us all, especially me.
u know last i said was “do whatever you want”
if she doesnt reply until weekend ill write just for the kick " ok ill be a good boy again =(" if she isnt retarded at least thatll make her laugh, we laughed alot in the past. then ill write that im doing well, doing sports etc. AFTER that ill slowly push my value higher and make her desire me somehow. what do you think
ofc meanwhile ill be hitting other chicks
yeah man but i have that confidence naturally by now. ofc the hardest is to keep it constantly, and im giving effort to it.
the proper mindset is just to believe in yourself and your potential, dont overthink, you are the king of your own kingdom, this kingdom can be visited by invitation only. and i also learned the hard way..never EVER EVER be too friendly with ANYONE. never be too nice. not even the ugliest chick likes that. not even guys like it. if you want to experience it, just befriend with someone like that and see how annoying it is. just be cool, calm collected and only give a genuine smile when theres a proper reason for it
That’s a pretty good observation. If you are too nice to a girl she will presume that you have an alterior motive. If you are too nice to a guy (think Jim Carey, Cable Guy) he will start avoiding you.
Be helpful and considerate but don’t go beyond the social norms when it comes to strangers.
yeah sure, i also saw you as a friend but it changed lately. you have courage for nothing. do whatever you want."
Telling her she has courage for nothing are fighting words. If a guy said that to me, I wouldn’t want to hear from him again. She sounds like a high quality young woman, and her being a 21 year old virgin, makes her even more highly desirable. Her hormones may find lots of guys attractive, but she’s the type that ends up making decisions based on what her brain tells her, not her physical impulses. You have to be intelligent, highly disciplined, have a very high value of yourself, and be socially wise to be able to hold on to your virginity that long. She will only get seriously involved with high quality males who are respectful, kind, protective, who treat her as the high quality female she knows she is.
You probably hated hearing all of that, but I’m giving you my honest perspective. It’s in your best interest and in hers for you to move on. If she comes over to you and gives you another chance, then by all means, be prepared to be a gentleman and treat her with a great amount of respect, otherwise move on. Take the time to work on improving yourself. Continuing to contact her at this point may just creep her out, making you lose her forever.
On the subject of pheromones, I find that p130 is absolutely awesome for helping me get my thoughts straight. It takes the fear out of rejection and puts you in a good mood. I find that I’m able to focus on tasks because I don’t get the negative thoughts that hurt me emotionally. Even when I do get those thoughts, I’m able to realize how silly they are, making me able to put things in the right perspective. If it affects men in a similar way, that one would be very helpful for you. The guys on here can tell you more about it.
Like I mentioned in a previous post, she will make a logical decision when it comes to choosing a partner.
You should move on.
so you are saying that im an illogical decision and i dont deserve her. altough its not pleasant to hear, im used to that and i dont hate anything, im open to all kinds of self-criticism. i even overcame my narcissm with psychotheraphy, do you know how hard that is for narcisst to admit his mistakes? i want to do whatever it is necessary to improve myself. i want to strive for the things i want in this life. i understand all of that, and thats why i respected her also, because shes smart and i hate dumb women. but i failed her test.
the question is, what exactly makes me the illogical decision? i have everything what you describe, otherwise she wouldnt close to me in the first place. only these recent company related issues fucked my confidence alot. i developed serious paranoia and thought shes a spy trying to steal company related info from me. crazy but true.
im also intelligent (she said that herself,not my words), i always been kind and respectful, prob thats the sole reason she trusted me coming to my house and hotel room alone. she even wanted to travel with me alone together.
i know that i fucked up bad, and to be honest my first intention was to use her as a crying pillow. but then i really started liking her. from now on i want to solve my problems myself, regain my confidence, balance, discipline and face her again later. if i still have a chance ofc. but im not going to put her on padestal, gonna just treat her right.
i started taking kickboxing courses, for discipline and confidence. i go almost every day of the week. im also working on founding my own business, and reading business related books to keep my mind active. maybe my current situation makes me appear that i dont deserve her, but im actually a man who deserves even better than her, only if i didnt have such unlucky life. sounds like an excuse, but only someone in my situation could comprehend
btw i didnt use any pheros on her, she liked me without and i also liked her “smell”
I’m not sure who you’re replying to. You sound like you have a lot going on for yourself. It’s good that you’re taking the kickboxing classes, that you are continuing to improve yourself in spite of this emotional setback.
The girl did like you a lot and might still like you. The thing about girls like her, who think logically is that they might get close to many guys, but they will pull back as soon as they realize that the guy may not be “the one” for them. See most girls will sleep with you and then brake it off. As you already know, this girl is different.
From everything you wrote about her, I never got the impression that you loved her or that you even cared for her. My impression, based on your writings is that you desire her greatly for your own gain. You even said that you can do better than her, so don’t settle or waste any more of your energy pursuing her.
It’s not easy going through life holding on to your virginity. This is something that she protects greatly. It’s not fair to her to fall for a guy who thinks he can do better than her. She deserves better that that, and frankly, you do too. Put your energies on better things, you want her to remember you positively. Maybe in the future you both will be mature enough to start something serious.
I don’t know how her logic engine works so even an educated guess would be an insufficient answer.
What I do know is that those type of females are very patient when it comes to looking for life partners. You have to show the same qualities.