Some of the techniques of “seduction” may be good in practice, especially for those of us who don’t know what we’re doing. 
Like, being brave enough to touch her arm (I’m not, that’s why I mention this). Or learning to be busy. This actually means you are a well-rounded person with your own friends and activities and thus will not depend on her for all your entertainment, or otherwise “encourage” her to never leave your side. (Creepy, if you think about it that way.) This means you bring more variety and can offer up interesting outings for dates and throughout a potential eventual life together.
Just don’t assume the pretense, the “game;” not if you want something with an honest foundation.
You are NOT pathetic if you are selective in who you want as a girlfriend, but good job on changing your life. Do it for YOU, however, and not the possibility of a girl.
I dated:
• a 31-yo virgin IT guy who’d had a couple gfs (reminded me of a brother) 
• a 27-yo virgin chemistry grad student (long-ish distance, so he conveniently found someone closer)
• a 35yo machinist engineer who’d only had one teenage engagement, one ex-wife of 2 years, and one gf of a few months.
• a game designer who’d had one gf and one ex-wife of 8 years. (Then I moved out of state).
They were great guys, who had just been somewhat shy, and selective.
It seems many guys these days fall under society’s impression that you must “bang” as many as possible, and “stay free” as long as possible, but I am learning so many guys go against this norm, and most are insecure about it since they don’t know what they’re doing is common.
The “something missing” could be something far beyond your control as well. Although I’ve never gone on a second date with any of the few guys who physically reminded me of someone in an awkward way (family member or creepy guy), so I doubt that’s it. Then again, I’ve never accepted a date with anyone I wasn’t genuinely interested in. (I don’t do it for the “free food and drinks” as some girls put it.)
There are a couple guys I have remained friends with at their request. Some I would date again if they had not rejected me for another girl. Some I would not, but I told them I would not date them before they suggested still doing things together. (I did not say “let’s be friends.”)
It’s not my nature to attempt friendship with someone I’ve barely met, if we don’t share a common somewhat-unique activity, like rock-climbing as opposed to hiking.
I have no idea what she knows. I, personally, am oblivious, and have been surprised when guys I thought were totally bored asked me for a second date. Mostly the ones I lost interest in fastest were the ones that did not attempt physical flirting, or the ones who (almost literally) tried to jump straight to sex. But as I said, I’m different. I apparently thrive with the guys who have been told they “are too ‘doting’,” the ones who jump past the faux-disinterest stage, and have the respect to wait for sex, to let that intrigue build on its own, but still show they have interest in that aspect.
I wish you the best of luck. I would however, continue to meet and date ladies from your dating site, just be circumspect about it. Quiet, gentlemanly, but not “hiding” or lying, and without lessening your intensity with her. That will distract you, and make you seem (to her) less over-focused on her. If you asked my advice on dating, I would assume you were not interested in me, so maybe don’t ask hers, or play the “try to make her jealous” game.
Where did you hear that ? Its not for more extroverted people. It helps open up deeper communication and connection. Increases feelings of intimacy. It can also give relationships a feeling of newness. It sends the same signal whether your introverted or extroverted. Extroverted people may respond more but you can say that of any pheromone.
