so here are 3 versions of:
Who Reads What In This Country (US version)?
-
The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
-
The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
-
The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country and who are very good at crossword puzzles. -
USA Today is read by people who think they maybe ought to run the
country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do,
however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. -
The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the
country–if they could find the time–and if they didn’t have to leave
Southern California to do it. -
The Boston Globe is read by people whose ancestors used to run the
country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much. -
The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s
running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat
on the train. -
The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who’s running the
country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while
intoxicated. -
The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but
need the baseball scores. -
The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure anyone runs
the country, but if they find out who does, they oppose all of them. There are
occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist,
atheist, and also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy
provided, of course, that they are not Republicans. -
The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery
store. -
Nothing is read by the guy who is running this country into the ground.
An Australian version:
-
The Melbourne Age is read by the people who run the country.
-
The Canberra Times is read by the people who think they run the country.
-
The Sydney Morning Herald is read by the people who think they ought to
run the country. -
The Melbourne Herald is read by the wives of the people who run the
country. -
The Australian is read by the people who realise that no one’s running
the country. -
The Financial Review is read by the people who own the country.
-
The Western Australian is read by the people who think the eastern
states run the country. -
The Hobart Mercury and the Melbourne Sun are read by the people who
think the country ought to be run the way it used to be run. -
The Adelaide Advertiser and the Brisbane Courier-Mail are read by the
people who think it still is. -
The Sydney Daily Mirror is read by people who don’t give a stuff who
runs the country as long as she has big tits.
IN BRITAIN…
-
The Times is read by the people who run the country.
-
The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
-
The Financial Times is read by the people who own the country.
-
The Express is read by the people who think this country should be run
as it used to be run. -
The Telegraph is read by the people who think it still is their country.
-
The Guardian is read by the people who think they should be running this
country. -
The Mirror is read by the people who think they are running this
country. -
The Morning Star is read by the people who think the country ought to be
run by another country. -
The Independent is read by the people who don’t know who runs the
country but are sure they’re doing it wrong. -
The Evening Standard is read by people who are less interested in
who’s running the country than in getting a seat on the train home. -
The Star is read by people who don’t care who runs the country as long
as they do something scandalous. -
The Sun is read by the people who don’t care who runs the country as
long as the naked girl on page three got big boobs.
