Patient: Doc, I swallowed a pen !!
Doctor: No problem .. Sit down and write your name
THE 6 BEST SMART ASS ANSWERS OF 2006
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. “What are my choices?” John asked. “Yes or no,” she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.”
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do
these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I’ve been waiting for you all day, " the cop said. The
kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck underneath. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck
driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2006
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A
smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, “What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?” The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, “Well, I guess you’d have to write the exam with your other hand.”
Latest study finds most popular sexual position in US is “Dog Style!”
Men SIT UP and BEG.
Women ROLL OVER and PLAY DEAD.
Hahaha!
Doctor’s promise
“Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heard once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.”
“Don’t worry, it won’t happen to you. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia only.”
Dentist’s thinking
Patient: “It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone’s mouth.”
Dentist: “I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.”
In safe hands
Patient: Doctor I heard 10 percent of the total patients undergoing this surgery die.
Doctor: Don’t worry man, those 10 percent patients operated by me are already dead. Now it’s the turn of the 90 percent survivors.