Two different countries, there, darlin’. 
Incidentally…ouch.
Don’t mean to slow the flow here, but whaqt the devil does PUA mean?
Thanks and forgive my ignorance.
xoxo
jp
Pick-Up Artist, I believe.
Ah, merci!
Yep, that’s it. Apparantly it’s turned into a movement with increasing popularity. There are books and seminars and such to teach men how to become pick-up artists.
De rien, ma belle. 
Also, silly boys. 
Honestly, my feeling on PUA? You won’t pick me up (most likely, anyway–I try to never say never), but I don’t judge anybody for a one-night stand, and there are plenty of women who would like that (which is fine), so as long as they don’t make me feel tremendously uncomfortable and as long as they are complimentary and polite, they don’t bother me.
It’s actually pretty interesting to read the stuff.
Most of what I’ve read I’ve literally looked like 
while doing so… especially when there are PUAs responding to poor guys who want questions answered. Some of them are down right MEAN.
Now reading about posture, confidence, and other things that really are meant to improve the guy himself, I see it as actually very beneficial, as Jasmin put it.
Fast Seduction 101: Art of Pick-up and Seduction
But when you get into down right lying, I’m never one for that. And the way women are portrayed for the most part is enfuriating.
The gentlemen, though, would be hard to resist.
Gentlemen are devilishly hard to resist…
I know, I wrote it off as an English/Scottish competition thing. Who invented the head butt?
Ugh… PUAs. I unfortunately get approached a LOT (that’s part of life in AK. Ridiculously enough, I even get hit on when I’m working…yeah, drunk guy, the EMT is going to totally give you her number…rolls eyes). I haven’t gotten any in ages because I haven’t found anyone who’s worth a serious relationship. Like they say in Alaska…the odds are good, but the goods are odd.
In my opinion, the worst is negging. It is so infantile and low-class. Usually guys here are very polite if they want to be taken seriously, but if a guy negs me, I just turn and walk off. There’s only a billion other guys out there who will gladly buy me a diet Coke, so bugger off. If you can’t act like a gentleman, then go home.
Interesting Thread.
All I can say is, if I was a woman I would definitely master the art of seduction, given how easy it is to seduce most guys. Also, I think women have a right to flaunt their sexuality. If I was a woman I would. As a guy we appreciate it also. You dress a little nicer to work. You put on a little more red in your makeup to reflect the healthy glow on your face. Your shirt is just a little too tight today. These details are interesting to note.
Case in point, Mr. Right Now article on ABC News:
ABC News: Searching for Mr. Right Now
Gem: sorry to hear your game didn’t work on the girl. For me, I don’t think it is about getting any girl in the room. I don’t think that’s always possible. There’s always going to be a game of chance/probability. That said, I think part of being a good artist is to have the skills to attract girls when you choose to. Having options, if you will.
AK: A neg is not supposed to be an insult. People think of it as a insult. That’s why it doesn’t work. You can’t insult a HB8+ because they get insulted all the time by the guys they have rejected: “what a bitch, she wouldn’t let me buy her a drink”. A neg is supposed to be active disinterest to dissuade her that you are interested. The moment you express an IOI before her you have lost power. Thus, it also depends on your tonality. For example, “wow. you really talk a lot. pause. I like your energy”. This of course totally depends on tonality. Other negs like “Nice hair, are they real?” is a little too much for me though I have seen it work.
Funny story? hm. I was in San Jose once and decided to test this line, “Hey. Nice skirt.” Pause. “I think I saw another girl wearing it over there”
HB: in a really ghetto tone and shaking her head from left to right, “Oh no you didn’t!” and she ended up taking on me and my friends in a verbal fight until her friends pulled her away. lol.
-AW
LOL,
It really makes me cringe to think there is a whole army of guys out there, insulting women and expecting it to build attraction.
Oh dear.
I think the Neg one of the most mis-understood aspects of Pick-up, it has unfortunately been adopted by 100’s of guys who have not properly studied the material and think Insult = Attraction.
For the record if you were negged by a truly skilled pick up artist, you wouldn’t be posting it here - becasue you wouldn’t really notice, or at least it wouldn’t stick in your memory becuase it would seem so minor.
PUA: Hey, I really like your nails - hey look great, are they real?
Girl: Erm, no they are synthetic
PUA: Oh ok, well they still look really nice…anyway next topic
That is a proper neg - notice that you won’t spot anyhting that even comes close to an insult.
this is the part of PUA that appears to be work.
i think it comes across as work,too.
anytime we go out of our way to knock someone down a peg,its noted in that persons subconcious as “that person is not uplifting”
and then you can feel real good about your ability …in that moment…to make someone feel less than great.
on the other hand, this tactic will work fabulously on women with NO self-esteem.
they will think imediately,i knew i wasnt great,but this person is understanding of that. nice even.cool.
so when i say that it seems like work, i dont believe its in most people nature to want to advertently insult someone.
even that person on another level knows it takes effort to find a way to knock someone down that they really want sexually. work.
i think because i weigh out if the words i use are uplifting - negative - nuetral, i know i am in charge of what i attract that day.
nothing bad or good, just uplifting people generally attract uplifting people.
Gem, I think you’re right about the unskilled wannabe-PUA thinking that an insult = negging. There’s no way that disrespect is going to build attraction, and I have no idea why some guys think it’s okay to be assholish.
The girl saying “Oh no you di’i’n’t!!” is a hilariously ghetto but perfectly appropriate response to a wannabe PUA saying “Yeah, I think I saw another girl wearing that exact same skirt over there.” That’s a total insult to any girl who cares about clothes.
Then again, I think that my main problem with the PUA mindset is that don’t want to be around someone who is disrespectful or looking for a conquest, so I guess I’ve taken myself out of the game. I’d rather have someone who is real, kind, and genuine… rather than someone who sees women as objects to be conquered. I’m sure that there are girls who enjoy going out clubbing and hooking up, but I’m not one of them.
So is this a neg?
I’ve got a friend - who would like to be more than a friend - and a few times he’s said soemthing along the lines of:
“you look pretty today. i don’t like that top tho. I liked the top you wore last time - this doesn’t show any skin.”
Any time he says this, in the back of my head i’m always thinking “i don’t really dress for you, tho, motherf*cker, so it doesn’t matter what you like.”
I think it’s a neg that somehow twists into a compliment, but i don’t know that he’s doing it on purpose. it’s like that’s the stuff that naturally comes out of his mouth.
I have been reading some pua material lately and getting more familiar with it. I really think it is a great tool for some one who has had problems with self confidence and shyness in the past. That is what I get out of it. I’ve never been to a club and rarely been to bars. Pretty much socially at my teams pub or with friends not to pick up women. Most of the times they come to me because I guess I’m not really paying attention. All of my “game” has been telling the truth and trying to treat a woman right. I haven"t had any complaints. I have cocked up a few opportunites by not being as smooth in my delivery but my mindset is that they weren’t worth my time. Learning pua techniques or reading the material to repeat does a great deal towards building ones self confidence and self contentment(at least for me) All the other stuff is not on my mind right now
…
If only every man grasped how simple that is. Good for you.
from urbandictionary.com …
A neg is not a light insult wrapped in a compliment, nor is it being mean for mean’s sake.
The real definition of a neg (straight from the horse’s mouth): A neg is active disqualification. It shows that you aren’t hitting on a particular woman and don’t have interest in her at that particular moment. You’re not being mean, per se, you’re telling her that she does not meet your standards of attractiveness.
It isn’t a direct comment, either. When you’re engaging a group you can “toss it like a pebble” at her or towards her social circle.
Many, many guys use this the wrong way, and end up leaving people with a bad taste in their mouth. To be used by licensed professionals, only.
A standard neg:
“You and I would never get along. We’re too similar. You’d never take my sh*t, and I’d never take yours.”
I think the game metaphor meant that one should, for a while at least, treat going out as playing a video game - not be overly afraid to experiment and try different things even if it felt awkward to do so at the time. You might die a social death when you first start approaching, but this shouldn’t be taken too seriously. This reframe was particularly useful for people suffering from some variant of social anxiety…
Unfortunately there are pejorative connotations of the term too - isn’t the game played by players (who are presumed to want only one thing and to approach that in an unelightened, non-authentic, fundamentally deceptive manner). It’s funny how often we get hung up on words rather than perceiving what is actually going on.
Well… A PUA on here’s antiquated viewpoints, and ridiculous posturing caused me from last night, to no longer be allowed access to the men’s forum, so before THIS is whipped too, I wanted to tell you all I will be having this account deleted. I have copied this post anyway, so if it goes, I will just have Lori repost it later.
I intend to copy all the posts you have all found some value in that I have made here, across to clipboard, and then will email them all to Lori to post.
I am asking for this account to not just be closed, but totally deleted, so I want to make sure those of you who have said such lovely things to me about how helpful you found my posts do not lose out on them, as I do NOT want a trace of this account left here.
I will NOT be part of a community where speaking the truth means I am censored and the MALE perpetrators get away with doing what the hell they like. Last night they even stopped reading what was written (a typical male trait I find - even with my own wee brother..) and decided to MAKE UP stuff they thought they saw, and even before I was given restricted access to the forums, I had had quite enough.
Way to knock the women’s movement back a few thousand years Jasmin! I think you’re an amazing person, but to bow to the bullying of a few blow-hard, self-important, arrogant so-called men? NO, that does not compute or gel in MY world.
Anyway, this is very likely to be my last post here, as I do NOT want this account active if I am only allowed access to SOME of the forums.
Thanks to all those who have been good friends, and to the women who appear to think it cool to try to BE and act like men, whilst tearing down one of your own - I will only say, watch out for karma. Karma is the universe’s own lovely way of making sure we ALL get just what we deserve, and trust me - be it in this world or another - you will.
Thanks to everyone here, and I hope you have a wonderful pheromonal journey.
Lori has my email address, and should any of you wish to get in touch with me, please ask her for it.
Take care of yourselves everybody. I have posted this here, as I know it will definitely be seen then, and if I made a separate leaving thread, it would no doubt be pulled, so I guess this is a last act of defiance.
I will not be silenced, I will not be bullied and I will NOT be made to feel unwelcome in a “man’s” domain - not ever.
I have one last thing to say..
It was brought to my attention that some of the women here apparently believe it is because I was a battered wife for almost 8 years that has led to my viewpoints on PUA, the seduction community et al, but I can assure you it is absolutely NOTHING to do with that fact.
It is to do with me standing up for my principles and my belief that EVERYBODY who is genuine gets on a whole lot better in life if they are just literally, themselves..
I have never been less than exactly who I am in my entire life, and my SO will tell people my brutal honesty is often pretty hurtful, but you will NEVER hear lies from me, and I abhor liars like no tomorrow. I don’t have any friends who are less than 100% genuine, and I don’t think I could associate with people like that.
I am very proud that us Scots are considered to be the most WYSIWYG people in this world, and I can tell you, it is a tag that is not taken likely here. We just are what we are, and artifice has no part of our make-up at all.
Stay true to yourself, and the rest will follow.
It has never seen me wrong, and I am damn sure a week from turning 40, I am not going to adopt some mindless game-playing and incorporate it into my very HAPPY life.
I am a strong woman, and if certain of the men here want to see me as weak, BECAUSE I stand up for myself and my beliefs, that just shows how very threatened they are by a woman who is SELF-empowered, and while I have an amazing relationship - with the man who for 11 years was ONLY my best friend and went through hell and back with me, we are all about give and take, and THAT is how friends CAN become lovers, and STAY that way.
No matter what inane rubbish you hear from the men to the contrary.
I live by simple rules:
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Be yourself.
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Stay true to your beliefs and don’t be swayed by those wanting you to become a sheep.
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Tell someone you love them, the minute you realise it IS the case, as we just never know when it will be too late to do so, given this troubled world we live in.
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Treat people as you expect to be treated, but NEVER kowtow to someone just to keep the peace.
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Regret nothing, Even the bad experiences are all part of the giant Learning-Curve of this complex journey we call life. Each and every trauma or happy event is a silken thread weaving part of Life’s Rich Tapestry. Treasure each and every one, and learn and grow from those events that upset and unsettle us.
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And finally my mantra: “Live every single day as if it were your last, 'cos after all..one day you WILL be right..”
No tricks, no mind-shagging, no games. I am simply, me.
Like I said last night, games are for kids.
..and that..would be how this ALL started in the first place…
Blessings to one and all.
Ail )O(
I have read through that god-awful thread and chosen to stay out of it, but I understand you bowing out respectfully and in this situation I would have done the same. It makes me sick to my stomach to see such behavior from both men and women alike on these forums, which I love so dearly. I understand and agree with your stance on this, and am tempted myself to take a little “time off” even though I was not personally insulted.
That said, you are indeed a wonderful person Ail, and we’ll miss you. I’ll try to keep in touch.