Lengthy post so consider yourself warned.
I remember reading some time back about a study that was done on the effects of nature vs nurture. Sadly I can no longer find the article but basically several “problem” students at the grade school level were given IQ tests, the results were basically ignored as they were irrelevant for the study. The kids and their teachers however were told that the test scores showed the children as being very highly gifted and that the behavior and grade problems were likely from a lack of being adequately challenged. Within a fairly short period of time the kids grades improved dramatically. The hypothesis is that simply being told that they were smarter than they thought improved the kids self esteem so much that their motivation to apply themselves to academic challenges skyrocketed, but more than that, the attitude of the teachers dealing with them changed. By changing the teachers perception of the students from being brats, bad kids, slow learners etc. The teachers approach changed as well, final result? kids that were thought to be low on the intelligence scale became some of the best students in their respective classes.
What was the point of all of that? Well the phrase “Madonna and the Whore” was referenced in another topic and got me to thinking about the mentality that a lot of men share. myself as well once upon a time about “types”. You see for those ladies that may not know it, men as a gender not only judge you physically in the attractive-not attractive sense. It seems we also have two classifications of attractive types. We divide women into the “I’d fuck her” type. and the “I’d marry her” type. And while there ARE women that truly do fit into those categories I have to ask, is it their fault?, or the influence of people around them?
Being guilty of it once myself I used to see a woman and based on how she looked I could define if she was an attractive girlfriend/wifey material type, or if she was a “wild sex and never really consider her for anything serious” type. In hindsight I see what a mistake this was. See I have a few theories as to why men do this. The marrying type is usually a very simple sort of attractive…not plain mind you, but not WOW, She doesn’t have the striking exotic features of an Eastern European super model that evokes images of the femme fatale Bond Girls, nor does she have the outrageous proportions of stripper or porn star. No the marrying type “looks” more wholesome and “pure”. So why do men consider the LESS striking woman, more marriage material than the woman that makes every jaw hit the floor when she walks into a room? One reason imo is fear. A man would enjoy having sex with a spectacular “Ginger”, and will fantasize about it, and maybe even make an attempt at seduction. But will be afraid of anything long term because he see’s how other men react to her when she walks by radiating sexuality. Anything long term could result in him getting saddled with taking care of children he had no part in the conception of. So many men would be trying to get with her that law of averages would state that she’s bound to cave in and surrender to some man eventually when he’s not around. So they go after the “Mary Ann” instead. Still very attractive, but not in a way that draws too much attention from competition.
Another theory is that many believe that there seems to be an inverse relationship between attractiveness and intelligence, morality, personality etc. And frankly women themselves are guilty of it. You have no idea what unprovoked hostility is until you are standing with a group of women and another woman comes around who is quite clearly the most physically attractive woman in the room. “She’s probably slept with half the men in town already”, “Sure the men are looking at her but try holding an intelligent conversation with a woman like that” etc. Now I’ve gotten the slut/bubble head/snooty bitch vibe from first impressions myself and as a result my own prejudices held strong for quite a while. However over time when I stuck around (usually because the sex was exceptional…respect the honesty at least people!) I would notice little “out of character” moments. Their guard was slowly being let down. I realized a lot, not all but a lot of these women were at their core, NOT the type people thought they were even though they acted it out quite convincingly. I suspect that we are influenced by society and tend to morph into what society expects us to be. Tell a kid with bad grades he’s actually a genius and have his teacher and classmates believe it and act accordingly and you get a straight A student, tell a woman with larger than average breasts that she’s not that bright and prone to promiscuity and you’ll get the Pamela Anderson stereotype. If a large enough group of people that you interact with impose their preconceived notions about you, onto you eventually you may find yourself living up, or sometimes down, to their expectations.
Imagine a girl is pretty and an early bloomer, I’ve known a couple growing up and in hindsight I can understand why their lives went as they did. One girl I knew was a little girl as innocent as any, but she grew breasts quite early and grew them enough that they were the center of attention in school. This poor kid didn’t do anything but the boys would start talking to her more now and always the conversation would their interest in her anatomy. She was shunned by girls that were her best friends before. Long story short (TOO LATE!) she had racked up quite the list of partners by the time she graduated highschool. Was it because she grew breasts earlier than most, or larger than most, or was it the influence of the people that couldn’t see past that (no pun intended)
That’s why I sometimes laugh in amusement when women see me with what some would consider a “barbie doll”. And give me their post feminist lecture on how shallow and superficial men are and how I should learn to look past a persons appearance…when the breast size of the woman they saw me with is all they know about her. And yeah, some of the women had either been playing their role so long that nothing would shake them out of it, or they really were that stupid/bitchy/slutty etc. But more than a couple turned out to be a lot more interesting, warm, and even family minded than you’d think by looking at them.
So the next time you see a woman that looks like a porn star or hooters waitress or whatever and you consider her “fuck material” but no good for marriage or a serious relationship. Consider that while you may or may not be right, if you are correct it may very well be people that saw her and made the very judgment you just made that made her that way.
Myself, I’ll spend time digging to see if Ginger has a little Mary Ann inside her.
