after the relationship with my g/f of 4.5 yrs ended i’ve had a year to finish school and start my career. I’ve also had time to re-evaluate certain aspects of my life. I know i’ve never been a player and can be quite contempt in a monogamous relationship. the way I figure it, “If i’m happy with a certain girl, if I really like her or love her and have no complaints with our sex life etc., then why look elsewhere?” i read the first couple of pages of a book called The Professional Bachelor Dating Guide where the author states in an intro chapter:
“Your life goal should be to enjoy as many breathtaking, satisfying experiences you can. Let’s be more realistic. What’s more exhilarating? The first time with that scorching hot Russian exchange student with the bubblebutt at the gym or your gargantuan psychotic wife’s latest weight loss program that she quits after a week?”
-cute, huh? Of course these books most likely are targeted to the socially inept sexless and easily malleable male population. but after spending too much time being single and losing touch with too many friends from being “all work and no play” I can’t help but think that maybe i’m missing out by not aggressively playing the field. Either way, I’m gonna get out more over the next couple of weeks simply because I think it’ll be healthy for me but am I truly missing out on the big picture by appreciating monogamy and a fulfilling relationship? any feedback from guys and girls would be awesome.
thanks,
-queixada
I would say that if you truly feel like you are missing out on something that maybe you should try “playing” a little bit. See how you like it. If you think you should play because it’s what more acceptable in our society or because your friends do it, maybe you should stick to what feels right to you.
In my case, playing while between relationships is good. If I meet someone I really like, though, I give that a chance. Both have there benifits and both can be fun. I would not say one is better than the other. If I feel like “playing” while I’m in a relationship, though, it’s probably a sign that the relationship will not last.
BTW, being in a monogamous relationship doesn’t make you a chump. The only problem is staying in relationships you’re not happy in.
In the end, it all comes down to what you value most. If you really want to settle down with one girl for a LTR, you owe it to yourself and her to make sure it’s what you both want, and then to follow through with fidelity. This is, of course, assuming it’s not an open relationship.
If you do want to play the field while having a girlfriend, you owe it to her to let her know your intentions up front.
In either case, the root thing to consider is honesty, both to yourself and to the people your actions affect.
-D4