MX316 – solo
This stuff is strong! Aggressive! Confident! No Bullshit Zone!
I drive home after work and cruise by Watering Hole N and see the parking lot is full so I head over to Watering Hole S. I put one spray on the back of my hand – smear it with the other and wipe both across my jaw and saunter in.
I park myself on the stool by the register – the one with the air conditioner blowing at my back – pushing my phero cloud over to the barmaid’s side of the bar. I notice that I have a somewhat cavalier “I don’t give a damn” attitude, if not pugnacious.
Barmaid D is there and says, “Hello, it’s been a long time. Where have you been?”
I explained that I had a new knee put in and she expressed amazement that I’m out and about so soon. She said she missed me. I told her that I usually go to N because it is close to home. She then proceeds to tell me that she lives close by N. In fact, she says, “the house right next door to the” such-and-such building. By doing this she effectively told me the exact location without a house number.
A woman is griping about having to make pizza on a Wednesday instead of Friday. It’s what her man wants – and she’s having a fit because it is different than from her same old routine. This is going on for a while and I just finally put my hands out making like I’m playing the violin – with lots of vibrato.
The barmaid is locked eye contact with me and laughs. She asks the whiner if she saw me – she didn’t- so I did it again making a face like I was going to break out in tears.
The whiner asks, “Do you think I’m bitching?”
“Ever since I came in here I have been hearing how a pizza, of all things, has made your life miserable.”
“I’m not bitching!” says she.
“Denial is such a beautiful thing, isn’t it?”
She’s not stopping. “Pizza has too many carbs!”
“Pizza has ingredients from several food groups and is much more nutritious and not empty carbs like that piece of cake you just ate. You need to fix your man a pizza or order one delivered – get over it - and think about giving him something special between the sheets for desert because you definitely need some and don’t feed me any more denials – just do it”. She finally shut up? Unbelievable!
Then Barmaid D, who has been in my cloud all this time, looks me in the eye, winks and says to me, “You can come over to my place and get a piece anytime.”
