A male friend has expressed to me that he absolutely HATES it when girls put themselves down, that it’s such a big turn-off. Another male friend broke up with a girl because he “was more her therapist than her boyfriend.” My ex had once said while we were dating that he had been intimidated to ask for more than friendship because I seemed so confident and satisfied with life. In his eyes, my “value” increased because I acted like I was valuable.
I used to totally be the submissive type. Since I was younger, my personality has done a complete 180. I used to be that dorky girl (I’m still dorky, but I’m not THE dorky girl
) – glasses, braces (with really crooked teeth!), uneven bangs, socks pulled half-way up my calves (my mother tried so hard to break me of this preference… I didn’t know why at the time LOL) – well anyway, my personality and self-worth was what you’d assume, considering my appearance and how classmates regarded me. And don’t act like you lovely ladies didn’t laugh at that girl! She’s gone to school with all of you! Well, the point is, I’ve got a pretty good basis for comparing confident/insecure behavior, and how others react to both.
Well let me tell you, now that I’ve established a backbone (and learned to fold down my socks), I get a LOT more attention, and upwards of 95% of the time, it’s positive. Actually, the only people that I KNOW dislike me are a girl with poor self-esteem who thinks I’m a know-it-all (seems like jealousy) and an alpha, pushy girl who thinks I’m creepy and weird (I can’t explain this one… I suppose I must simply be creepy and weird).
Well GUYS… whether they have confidence in themselves or not, they can’t help but be attracted, even if they aren’t necessarily interested in you. I have a much larger percentage of guy friends now than I used to. I chalk it up to appreciating that I can take a joke, as my guys often comment on it.
Guys don’t want to deal with emotional issues. Who does? Girls have a higher tolerance because we’ve got that motherly instinct, but anyone can quickly exasperate their friends by going on and on about issues with themselves. Confidence is extremely attractive; I guess that’s why girls go for the jerks a lot of the time.
So, in the context of attracting guys, opportunities, and respect, appearing emotionally stable is your best bet. In the context of attracting friends, friendliness, and admiration of peers, appearing happy is your best bet. Add confidence and… well, to be happy and emotionally stable, you need to be confident
These are my observations, anyway.
I can’t wait to get my first shipment of pheros
How drastically could they tip the scales? Ahhh, so excited!
(Anyhow, I need to shut up. Psychology is my chief interest right now, so I blame enthusiasm. Sorry if I rambled, and thanks to the person who had sent some reps my way for my last post
)