OK a good number of the men here have read the Mystery Method and/some other PUA materials. Some might be aware of Vin Dicarlo’s concept of there being a difference between attraction and value.
I state in another topic that I have a variant theory of both, that what Mystery calls attraction switches are in fact value switches, and that Vin Dicarlo’s definition of attraction (as opposed to value) is really just another kind of value switch. Where the normally accepted switches are aimed at promoting the provider protector image that implies survival value, Vin’s tactics of sexual tension game focus more on your replication value via communicating strong genes and the ability to provide sexual pleasure.
Now, that summed up, I’ll go over the various value switches explaining my idea’s of which are the most important and why.
Mysteries book lists “Willingness to Emote” dead last when he explains the switches. I consider this a mistake since in my opinion it is the MOST important of all the value switches to hit. You must show the woman that you are an emotional being AND that your emotional responses are appropriate. There are two main reasons for this.
First, if you are not capable of emotions and therefor unlikely to fall in love, none of your other values or traits mean shit to a woman since she is unlikely to benefit from them. You can have resources and contacts up the ass and be a man of tremendous power and influence but if you are seen as being as emotional as a robot then the woman will know that none of your resources will ever benefit her. Now don’t go proclaiming your love and devotion coming right out the gate but so long as she knows you’re ABLE to feel emotion, then she knows the possibility of being the woman that benefits from being with you is there.
The other reasons emotions are important to communicate is that if you have serious anger issues you could very well be the kind of guy that beats a woman to within an inch of her life for spilling a drink. Getting angry is fine, natural and normal, but you have to control your anger and not let it control you. She needs to feel safe with you. Likewise if you don’t get angry or annoyed eve when such an emotional response is appropriate you come off as a doormat. She needs to know you will be assertive and competitive in life and that you are willing to defend her against other men. How attractive can you be if some stranger comes over and starts groping your wife right in front of you and you don’t get angry about it?
This leads and is directly related to “Protector of Loved Ones”. This value switch is almost the same as a willingness to emote. During an initial meeting all you have are stories to relate during A2 and the comfort phases. During actual dating during a relationships early stages they can be reenforced via including her with activities involving the friends and family members that you would want to be seen as protector of.
Leader of men, a few guys have asked me why this matters so much and when I first started studying pickup I wondered myself, then as I contemplated humans as social animals and why social animals have advantages over solitary species it made sense. Imagine two couples in a bar, in each case the woman is being harrassed by an over sexed drunk. Now all things being equal who is the more effective protector? The man who shows a willingness to emote and a protective nature by standing up and asserting himself alone?, or the man that displays the same qualities but when he stands up three more men come over shake his hand and say “Hey Bob, is there a problem here?” and present a strength of numbers advantage? Being a leader of men raises your protector of loved ones value. I believe this is why so many women have a thing for a “man in uniform”. Uniforms indicate being part of a group of men that will more often than not share a level of camaraderie and friendship, men that will offer support and backup when needed. Try picking a fight with the captain of the football team, or a cop and see how likely the situation is to remain “one on one” if you doubt me.
Now Savoy and Style have expanded or modified the list with many of their own addendum’s to include having an interesting lifestyle, comfort with your sexuality, a strong core identity (you know who you are and what you want from life and won’t compromise), income and wealth etc.
On the side of actual attraction or sexual/genetic value. Tactics I’ve used it downplaying compliments on physical or mental trait and giving credit to my parents. This subtly implies the trait she acknowledges as being positive is a genetic and hereditary one that might be passed to any offspring produced by you in the future.
Her: Wow, you’re pretty tall. How tall are you?
ME: About 6’2" but that’s nothing, you should see my dad and his brothers, buncha big burly irish guys, I’m a runt compared to them.
Incorporate Vin Dicarlo’s sexual tension game along with this “humility” tactic for indicating genetic fitness into the basic M3 model to hit both sides of the value scale.
One that Vin Dicarlo emphasizes in S-Cubed is “Having a Grand Vision”. This communicates a man that is going places, even if your life isn’t perfect now,you have a goal, a plan and are on track to reaching it. By emphasizing your vision over the woman you communicate a lack of neediness. She can feel secure that you won’t become clingy and an emotional vacuum that requires her constant attention.
This brings us to the final and in my opinion second most important of the value switches…“Pre selection by women”. The reason it’s so important is that if you’ve attempted to flip other switches that indicate what a valuable catch you are and she seems to still have some doubts as to your authenticity, interest from other women both past and present act as a comfirmation of your other values. “He SEEMS like an awesome guy but I;m just not sure, but since all these other women seem to think he’s great he’s probably for real.” Hell, even if you haven’t tried to flip the attraction/value switches, showing pre selection by itself will almost imply the rest.
The beauty is it can be done in a way that conforms with social mores and creates intrigue as well. Suppose you go to dinner with a group of friends, and the females outnumber the males by one or two. An onlooker might assume that some of your group are/could be couples. But at the very least it shows that women are comfortable being around you and being your friend. Some might be exes that you remained on good terms with etc. Pre selection without creating the possible moral grounds for LMR that something as blatant as a wedding ring might produce.
