(Emphasis mine)
It doesn’t get much plainer than that.
I don’t think anybody did. I think they took the “I’m hurting, I’m not ready for a relationship” comment that THE GUY SAYS SHE MADE, and worked with that. And I don’t see how that has anything to do with the people who posted the advice pertaining to that.
I too think he has handled things well. But that still doesn’t argue that Astrea and Radman aren’t right and that he has, after being checked out and gotten to know, been found to be “not LTR material” for THIS PARTICULAR woman with a child. And he should be prepared for that. She may not be running back to him, she may just be, as was said, bored and looking for someone to hang out with for awhile.
No disrespect to any single mothers out there but, why does it seem that people are assuming being a single mom makes someone a great person. Plenty of single mothers have put their own desires ahead of their children.
What was said was that, since they already went the bf/gf route for a time, and then she broke up with him, and avoided him until such time as he stopped asking her out, chances are he didn’t fit her preconceived notions of what constituted a LTR. Period. Whether bc of the child (and frankly the fact she HAD the child says a lot to what came before unless she’s a welfare mom), or some other reason. Now, having allowed some time in between, she’s coming back with a “let’s do something,” and chances are it’s an, “I’m bored, who can I trust to hang with” thing.
Not saying mones won’t help. Not saying she may not have changed her mind on the relationship. Just saying don’t get your hopes up too much.
You’re right, for all anyone knows she could have broke it off because he was too nice and not “bad boy” enough for her. In which case he could use instant jerk to rev her engine and get her back. But just because a thing can be done doesn’t make it the thing to do.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I wasn’t implying the girl is a saint or even a good mother…I have no way of knowing that. But even if she’s a horrible mom it doesn’t change the fact that a child is a factor and kids cost money, time and responsibility
Are you suggesting that if she’s the type that parties too much and neglects the child that its ok to eliminate the child’s needs as q factor in whether or not he pursues this?
If she’s a good mom that’s looking out for her kids best interest then the earlier advice stands…
Logical conclusion to that is that if she’s a bad mom that doesn’t care about the kid then go for it.
In my view, josef and Astrea are both right. You have to show her you are busy and have options. Sure she is a single mother, but you are a single guy. She also doesn’t want someone who is hanging all over her too.
Use lots of IO, lots of Ishine and a little Ammo or TUTH.
3-4 IO
3-4 Ishine
EITHER Ammo or TUTH (but not both)
1-2 Ammo or
1 TUTH
I dont agree that she has, If she starts hanging around with him like he is one of the “girls” then she has put him in the box. When people are scared or unsure they often say things they dont mean. Until she acts on it and actually hangs around with him like two “just friends” would he is not firmly in that box and he should not let her put him in it. He clearly posted he is not going to push her and just wanted mone advice. I think its its premature for him to just move on without giving her a chance to become comfortable.
I assume this was addressed at me since you quoted me. Where exactly do I even mention RAD or Astrea ?
Most people know by now that if I have something to say about a person or about there comment I will come right out and say it. I said “people” because its was the general vibe I felt from all the posts accumulated before I replied not just one persons post.
The guy asked for mone advice, I gave him mone advice. Misein asked a question and I responded. If you or the two people you mentioned have a problem with my posts its very simple… Dont read them, but I have had just about enough of people assuming everything I say is about them somehow.
Tisha, you know I love ya. I really do. But you’re doing what you say you don’t want people to do.
I just want you to be congruent.
I do think that he needs to give her another chance and see where this leads, yes. I agree with you on that. But I also agree with the aforementioned folks that so far the track record for that happening hasn’t been good.
Tisha and Boudicca, you ladies need to settle any disagreements in a way that is appropriate for two ladies of your obvious maturity (no age joke intended) class and sophistication.
**hands each a pillow and goes to sit on a recliner with a bowl of popcorn
**Ok…proceed
