Need your advice guys!

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Hey guys, this topic is more about girl advice than pheromones, but phero advice is more than welcome as well!

I’m 23 years old and recently met a girl that goes to my university. She is new and I saw he a few times the first week of school (last week), but hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to her. Last Friday I approached her while she was sitting alone. I thought the conversation went really well and that attraction was built. Before I asked for her number though,I realized we were both late for a test (to get credit for a requirement class) and walked with her. I planned to ask for her number after the test, but I finished early and unfortunately didn’t see her again that day.

On Monday I said hi to her, but talked very briefly so I added her on facebook where we got to chatting and had another good conversation. She told me she was shy and that she liked how now she understands that I like to tease, but I am also very nice. I told her she had to say hi to me in person the next day. So… (yesterday) she did by pushing me softly while I was talking to a friend and saying hi, but immediately went back with her friends to walk to class.

I wanted to avoid the friend zone so I decided against talking to her on facebook yesterday. Today I ran into her while buying books, so we talked, but the conversation wasn’t as good and I felt as if it was more awkward and she seemed less interested. I invited her to get the grade back with me and a friend (she doesn’t know him), and she seemed a bit reluctant, but I think she said yes right when one of her friends interrupted and said hi to her. Since they started talking and I was talking to my friend, I decided to just go get my grade and left.

The problem is feel puzzled in how to talk to her without seeming like a random guy who randomly talks to her every time we run into each other even though we know none of the same people, we share no classes, and I never ended up asking for her number. Normally I’m good with girls and game, but this situation just slipped due to bad logistics (times, the fact that we were in the university, etc) and me snoozing a bit. Haha also, I’m normally very cool and collected, but for some reason, I get nervous around this girl and seem to make feel like an AFC.

Any advice from you guys is welcome and hopefully Radman and Steve can chime in!
Thanks!

2

What pheromones have you been wearing around her?

3

I’ve been working with a combo of SOE and A314, due to the act that I’ve been in school.

4

How about, “Hey, I’m gonna grab some pizza down at (pizza joint of your choice), you wanna join me?!” It’s harmless, in a public setting and non-threatening. Then, before you actually go get pizza, think of another thing or two you could do if things go well. Like, if you’re walking and talking and it’s going well, ask her if she wants to walk down to the lake/river/park/whatever. Or, ask her if she wants to stop in at (pub of your choice) for a cold one. Personally, I’d make it a nice, quiet place where you can carry on a conversation as opposed to the dance joints where they have the bass on 10 and every song has the same annoying, hypnotic beat.

5

Your right about that axslinger. I do want to ask her next time I see we both have a break when we run into each other (many times it’s on the way to class).

I also don’t know if I should stop paying her attention for a few days (maybe not talk to her on fb and just say a quick hello and keep walking) so it doesn’t seem like every time she runs into me I try and hit on her. I’m not sure if that would be good or it might just make her forget about me altogether and kill any sort of sexual tension…

6

I have made the mistake of playing it safe far too often. Don’t just do the “hey join me,” kind of thing. Make sure she knows what’s up.

It can still be in a safe place at a safe time of day, but make sure your intentions are known…“I would like to invite you for lunch, would you rather have a pizza, or some wings?”

With Steeler Girl, it started out with us hanging out as friends, that was my intention. I wasn’t even considering starting up another relationship so I asked her to hang out at my place with some friends. But once I decided to make my intentions known I made sure to use the word “date” so she would know that the dynamics of our interactions would now change. In fact in one text I sent her after she said yes, I told her…“cool, cuz I’m gonna date you, I’m gonna date you real hard.” She got a kick out of that.

7

Personally while the guys have both given you good advice, its not what I would do. While I agree that nice gets left behind, asking a girl out to lunch seems to me as if you are doing exactly what every other guy has done. Put yourself above what every other guy in her life has done, or you become one of the thousands of orbiters she’s had since she hit consent.

You’ve already made some mistakes here and I am going to be blunt, because, well you asked me for my opinion. The first mistake, and really it was a pretty lame excuse, is you didn’t get her number. You mean you had time to walk, but during that time you couldn’t spend the 13 seconds to ask for her number? Come on dude, you are not fooling anybody, which means you put her on a soap box by raising her value based on looks. Now don’t go beating up on yourself just yet, because at least you had the balls to go and talk to her. That’s why the conversation went so well. You were fearless, you approached made your move, reached in and lit the spark in her loans and then just when she was all excited about a man who knows how to handle good looking women, not another boy who is scared of her looks, you let it all slip away and didn’t get the digits.

Now you may be trying to rationalize why you didn’t, but regardless is you didn’t. You had time to walk, you had time to talk, you obviously had time for facebook, so you had time to get the number!

All is not lost…yet. My suggestion is to do exactly what you already know. You built a foundation that she initially liked and you need to broach it from that angle. The disinterested route to me sounds like the best. Next time you see her, go up to her and be like OMG, you are such a little stalker. People are beginning to talk you know. PAUSE. Let her talk…

Initiate conversation from there again as if its a brand new attraction sequence. You’ll need to stoke that spark again, or just get it going all over. You are right about facebook too. Its the friend zone and bad for this situation. So start over building attraction and get the hook. Bait, hook, real, release.

After you start talking to her, you need to move her someplace really close by, like if in the store to the pencils or whatever. Close and no big deal. Tell her an attraction story about how your phone was stolen by a terrorist from Idaho and he used it to call Osama and now the CIA has a hit on you. If you go to move her to pizza or coffee before you move her close by she will not feel comfortable. Kino her, do all those things that should have been done to begin with. The KEY is to make her running into you like she is stalking you. She is interested in you, not you, You could care less anyway since you have 10 girls at every corner. If you see her before she sees you talk with another girl close by and get her to laugh. Then be like excuse me there’s a girl who is stalking me and I need to go see why.

You’re building pre-selection right there and social proof. Right now you are chasing her and in here eyes the guy who wouldn’t or didn’t have the balls to ask for her number. When she finally gives it to you, then say something like hey, I’m going to get some lunch, you wanna come. You’re going anyway so it doesn’t matter if she does or not. You’re telling her you could take her or leave her.

If it don’t work out then move on. Go to the next girl.

Oh and wear pheromones :slight_smile:

8

Thanks guys, and thanks Steve, your honesty is much appreciated! I much rather hear it from a straight shooter!
I’ll take your advice and try it next time I see her (It’lll be a few days since I don’t have class).

9

Control the worlds man. If you read enough pickup stuff you’ll eventually hear that you want to bring her into your world and avoid being the guy that tries to fit into hers. I suppose this is ok if a guy doesn’t have a strong frame, but if you do, you can waltz in and control both worlds.

For example, when she was talking to her friend and you were talking to yours…you weren’t together, you just happened to be occupying the same general space. And believe me, she knows you were standing there wanting to be included in her world at the time, and left because you weren’t.
The way to handle that is be very bold and forward (and friendly) Don’t wait for her to introduce you to her friend, do it yourself, strike up a convo with her friend and start asking some “getting to know you” questions and offering approval/value for answers.
“Ohhhh you major in blah blah blah?, that’s actually pretty cool, I’d be interested in knowing how you came to that?” Then after a few minutes, apologize for being rude and introduce her friend to yours…basically the world is a party and you are the host.
This helps you gradually work her friend into a convo with your friend leaving you and the girl to interact. AND…later on, her friend will likely be so impressed by you she’ll mention a complimentary observation or two. “He seems really cool”, or “Wow he comes off like a real fun guy”. Now you’ve already got evidence that you fit in her view of her world.

Now, do not “ask” anything. This may sound sexist or manipulative but as a general rule women are non confrontational and don’t usually respond with a “no” unless it’s presented as an option. If you ask a yes/no question you have a good chance of getting a “no”.
However if you simply make it a statement as if her agreement is assumed, it requires more willpower for her to say no.
IE: “Hey would you like to go for a pizza?” is asking for a no
Better “Hey, me and my boy are gonna go pick up a couple of books and then grab a bite at such and such pizza place, we’ll meet you there in about a half hour.”
and then walk away casually before she can even register that her silence has been taken as agreement.

Likewise with the phone thing, I wish I could take credit for this but I learned it from David D. Simply walk up and very casually say “hey gimme you phone for a sec” again, without presenting a yes/no question and coming totally out of left field with it she’s likely to comply…when she does simply send yourself a text from her phone. Hand it back to her and text her back. At least you know it’s a legit number lol.
Then tell her something like "Yeah I got this thing going on this weekend (make sure you have a thing), I’ll text you the details so you don’t miss out. (framed like including her in your life is a favor to her)

10

I’d say her recent disinterest probably stems from the fact that you haven’t made a move - your initial conversation built enough attraction to make her interested, but your lack of initiative/aggression since then has eroded some of it away (orbiting is decidedly low status).

I like Steve’s stalking neg - I would personally throw the neg out, and then leave… the next time she sees you your neg will be on her mind (in a good way). You’ll need to be aggressive about getting her to go with you to a more intimate setting (you need to move your interactions away from school before you can build any more attraction)