Any hope for me? Warning: LONG ASS POST!!!

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Men's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

Okay so I’m back but this time I’ve got a new problem…

So over the past 4 months I was talk to this girl I had a class with and everything was fine, she’s the one who started talking to me and as time went on we started hanging out outside of class, she was very flirty with me and I wasn’t so sure about her because she was a very outgoing/bubbly girl so I initially though… oh she’s just screwin with my head for shits and giggles… well after about a month of hangin out with her I started to really like her but… a few weeks into hanging out with me she told me she hadn’t had a boyfriend since being in college(2.5 yrs) because she didnt have time and that school is top priority for her… I took the hint but was a bit worried as I started to like her but I never really made any passes at her or suggested we become official.

Sometime later on in the month I couldn’t take it anymore and I had to tell her how I felt… so we met up and had a chat in her car, I find out she likes me as well, what luck… but the thing about her saying she didn’t have time to commit kept me from ever trying to make it official cause I respected the fact that she was focused on school and trying to transfer. So we stayed in the zone were interested in each other but weren’t gonna date or so I thought… well school got more serious and we hungout less and less, I saw her 3 times a week in class but that was about it.

So the weekend before finals come up and I try to set a day up were we can hangout for a bit, on saturday and she said she might but wasn’t sure and that was fine with me. Well saturday comes and she calls at around 3ish and says she can’t hangout because one of her online classes just gave her a pop quiz due on monday, so she said she was going to study… I didn’t argue and happily talked to her for a few more minutes and then hung up, well… next day I was on facebook(I know… I know… what can I say? I’m only 20yrs old haha) So I was on FB and she doesn’t have a FB but her bestie has one and I’m friends with him so whatever happens with him i can see whats going on, well at around late afternoon someone posted pictures of him and I being a friend of his thought I’d check em out… well I look at the thumbnails and in a few of the pictures a girl looks really familiar, so I investigate and it just so happens to be the girl I’m talkin to… she’s at this party having a good time. So I’m a bit pissed cause she said she was gonna be studying and she knew I wouldn’t bother her. I’m more pissed off due to the fact that she wasn’t comfortable enough to tell me the truth, I wouldn’t have cared if she was going to a party instead of being with me, obviously she has other friends and whatnot, I understand.

Well I wasn’t too happy about that and I had class the next day with her, so I was being really quiet around her(the complete opposite) and after class I was standing outside texting a friend, a group of kids come out including her and she comes over happy as can be, she asks me how I think I did on my paper, I was just very blunt with her, I said “okay, I guess? what about you?” and she said something and I just sat there quiet not really saying anything, so she kinda just turns around and heads over to a group of kids, they bounce and I all walk right past me without saying a word.

half hour later I text her asking if we can talk sometime soon? She responds yeah sure anytime. So i call her 5 minutes later and she doesn’t answer… ok? another 5 mins I call again… one ring and I get forwarded to her voicemail… WTF? and after that day we didn’t talk for about 6 weeks, I tried to call her and talk to her and just clarify and fix whatever was wrong but she wouldnt answer… FINALLY a week b4 school starts I call her but this time from a blocked number, first ring BAM! she answers… I start talking to her and she get mad at me for blocking my #… so we talk she says shes pissed off at me because I was a jerk to her and she says she didn’t answer because she would end up just yelling at me over the phone. we score things away and I explain why I was mad and she said she totally understood and would have been pissed too if it happened to her, I thought that kinda sealed the deal that we were back on good terms… I told her I still had feelings for her and I wanted to know if it was mutual since I had a few offers from other girls over the 6 week break but put em all off because I really liked this girl… she said everything was cool between us… I figured that was a yes and was quite happy to hear it. I ask her if we can hangout sometime since I’d like to see her as I missed her, but she didnt want to… she said she would feel weird because of what happened, I don’t understand why but accept it as she said she was sure she’d see me around school and slowly warm up to me again… well we talked again the next week and everything seemed fine and dandy… at least thats what I thought.

So I took off V-day in hopes of being able to spend time with her… I have a hard time getting a hold of her two weeks before v-day… finally I get a hold of her the week of v-day but everytime I catch her she is busy and can’t talk… so I text her and tell her to call me when shes free as I’d like to talk to her, she calls at a bad time and I can’t talk… so I call her and leave a message about v-day and if she was free. That was this past thursday, she calls me later that night around 930pm and she doesn’t mention it, so I ask and she says she’s busy v-day and that she already has plans… shit, that backfired… how about friday? nope busy as well… tonight? sorry I’ve got plans… so I ask her if she’s bust all v-day or just part of it… then she dropped a bomb on me…

She says " I’m busy all day" ok thats fine… I’m spending with this guy I’m seeing(talking to). WTF! the guy you’re seeing??? WTF happened to me?
And she basically said, I’m not interested in you anymore… and I don’t see the point in hanging out with you because I have nothing to say to you. And she says one of the reasons she lost interest is because I never tried to make it official… which is a bullshit move on her part cause she’s the one who told me in the beginning that she was focused on school and didn’t have time for a relationship, if given the chance or a hint that she was ready/open to a relationship you bet your ass I woulda been on that in a second, but it never happened.

I talked to her best friend and he told me that she told him that she’s not even into this guy she’s talking to… so I don’t know whats goin on with that?

Honestly… If I have a chance of getting back on her good side I’ll go for it because I really do like her alot and before the “incident” at school everything was going well or so it seemed…

Is there something I can wear, that if I can sit down and talk to her sometime for a little bit, will possibly make me seem worthy of a second chance so to speak? make her ease up on the issue and possibly think about our situation? People tell me to move on and to just forget her but its hard for me to do so… I’m very stubborn when it comes to girls I like, so besides from moving on, is there anything I can wear to make her possibly give me a second chance or reconsider what happened?:frowning:

2

hey man welcome to the forum… im a newbie like yourself so i cant give you much advice on the pheromones and all of that just yet, but im a good reader and i can tell you what ive read… before i try to do any of that though i just wanna tell you that your not alone in that boat my friend, just keep goin and keep tryin, but do remember thhat you cant waste too much time… just a thought… anyways, there are three that i think might help you with your situation: (all of these can be found at www.smartmones.com , the store that this site mainly associates with)

The first is Instant Female Magic. “Instant Female Magic” Female Relaxant for Men :: Spray Pheromones :: Androtics Direct/SmartMones

The second is Instant Honesty. “Instant Honesty” Communication Pheromone for Men :: Spray Pheromones :: Androtics Direct/SmartMones

The last is Turn Up The Heat. This one is more of a sexual attractant than anything else according to what ive read… If you are around her in class and start to talk to her and be around her, this could possibley help. Tisha and the others would know better than me though… “Turn Up The Heat” Sexual Pheromone for Men :: Spray Pheromones :: Androtics Direct/SmartMones

I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck with your lady friend… Just stay positive and remember the old saying, theres plenty of fish in the sea… GOOD LUCK =]

3

Dude, i know this is going to be difficult, but drop her. Get her out of your life. Delete everything that belongs to her, and stop checking for traces of her online. It will save you a lot of heart aches.

Trust me, been there done that. sigh.

4

IFM is unfortunately out of stock at the moment, otherwise it would have been a good one to try. So is IH, that would make the conversation more intimate and open, so if you want to know how she really feels then IH is a good choice.

TUTH…for this? No, no, no…TUTH is a VERY sexual phero that screams “I want sex…right now”…it’s not something that would make her comfortable around you or talk honestly about what’s going on, where the two of you stand. Especially not since you seem to see this girl mostly in college… TUTH is NOT appropriate for casual social settings or college… it’s for clubbing where you are on the prowl for a ONS, or for once you get to the bedroom…

It seems to me that this girl has been trying to keep you at arms length, giving you every excuse in the book…To be honest I don’t think you and her will happen…I think she’s been behaving like this to “let you down gently” or because she didn’t have the guts to tell you straight she’s just not that interested…
Phero’s wont make her change her mind, but they can help you on the communication side so you get some straight answers…

5

When your behavior over a long period of time has made its impression on a person and they’ve put you in some kind of box because of it, there is little that pheros can do to change that in a single one-on-one meeting. A big demonstration of change in behavior and attitude over time will do much more.

That said, phero usage can work synergistically for you as you better your social skills and increase your confidence. I’d recommend you work with A314 and (separately) Ammo and build some congruence with their vibes.

6

man, long post =/. i’d say get the balls to confront her. it seems like you’re too shy and over thought your plans through. just go in head strong. reading your post I can understand, it is partially your fault for not making it official, i mean why would she tell you that she didnt have a boyfriend in a while cus she was busy but tell you this, i think she sorta wanted you to seal the deal right there. but anyways good luck :smiley:

7

Karasu16

Okay so I’m back but this time I’ve got a new problem…

So over the past 4 months I was talk to this girl I had a class with and everything was fine, she’s the one who started talking to me and as time went on we started hanging out outside of class, she was very flirty with me and I wasn’t so sure about her because she was a very outgoing/bubbly girl so I initially though… oh she’s just screwin with my head for shits and giggles… well after about a month of hangin out with her I started to really like her but… a few weeks into hanging out with me she told me she hadn’t had a boyfriend since being in college(2.5 yrs) because she didnt have time and that school is top priority for her… I took the hint but was a bit worried as I started to like her but I never really made any passes at her or suggested we become official.

welcom to the forum !!!
and thanks for sharing your ex…
I was like that too , but then i found this site and pheros and the most important all the nice people here that will help you in those cases .. anyways , in my opinion you sould just relax around her , you dont have to let her know that you realy like her , cause when they see that they wanna start playing games with you , if you want to talk with her just call her once , she dont answer , leave a msg telling her to call you back
and you wait , the first time might take longer becaus you trying to brak the monotony , and the habit, she will start asking her self why your not calling her again , and she will start to look for you and other thing is that you two dont have anything formal , go and have fun with other girls specially if she is aroud, cause i very shure that she still interest in you
i hope this will help you with thise girl
and for the pheros , try ammo , instant female magic , come talk to me mix 2 and instan honesty
but remenber that you have to find you dosage , anyways in the first week using pheros you will see some results :slight_smile:

if you have any other question let us know !!

peace out bro

8

I agree with Carrie, this is not a pheromone issue. Don’t take this the wrong way, but reading your post gave me an impression that you’re a bit possessive even when the relationship was not official. I’d say play it cool and distance yourself a bit from her. If you do decide to have one-on-one friendly conversation with her, I’d say you use IH.

9

i know how you feel man, my girlfriend was/is a little ***** like her. She’ll say one thing and want the total opposite. In general, she wants you to be a man, call her and dont ASK her. Act like a jerk and just tell her, im picking you up or get dressed im coming over

10

Karasu,

I’m going to be blunt here, stay away from this girl, she may have been interested in the past but now she’s over it. Like the girls are saying, she’s already placed you in a certain “box” and will probably not change her mind.

I’ve been in the same situation, and seen it plenty of times, women in their early twenties don’t like confrontation, they don’t like it when you call them and “ask to talk to them sometime”, it’s a signal for them that you may be too serious or come with some drama. Such women want easygoing relationships, they want to have fun and let the details sort themselves out. And btw 100% honesty is not the best course of action, telling someone you are interested them is not always the way to approach women. Actually, it’s something you almost never want to do, unless you are sure things are going in that direction or are already in a relationship.

Take this as a learning experience, move on and meet some other girls. You are in school, you are surrounded by intelligent, interesting and sexy girls. Play it cool.

Don’t mean to be harsh, but it’s a lesson many of us have already learned and there’s no reason for you to have to learn it over again.

11

Self respect.

The people are giving you that advice for a reason.

12

Alright, man, I have been in your shoes and I know where you’re coming from. And I’m gonna give it to you straight up, because I think you deserve the truth, even if it is harsh.

I think your actions told her you weren’t interested; she gave up and moved on.

You were too soft. Too slow. Too weak.

Too soft to say what you were thinking, too slow to act on your feelings, and too weak to refuse to be walked on by this girl.

These last two posts are right. You have entirely too little self respect and way too little self esteem. No man worth his salt is gonna let a woman treat him like she’s been treating you ever since you told her (with your actions) that you weren’t genuinely interested.

Furthermore, your shot at this girl is OVER. Read that again. OVER. Gone. Kaput. No more. Give it up - being stubborn will only piss her off and get you drama. You could simply learn from this mistake and move on, instead, which I heartily recommend you do.

The problem here is twofold. First, you haven’t grown into a man yet, and second, you don’t speak her language - and she doesn’t read minds.

To grow into a man, as I am talking about, you have to understand the simple fact that a woman expects a man to speak his own language (be forthright and blunt and act on his interest and desires immediately) and hers as well (understand what she thinks is perfectly obvious, which is very subtle to most guys).

She must have told you she was over you 33 times before you got to the end of your story. I was almost slapping my head over it.

You want girls? Here are two things you can do to make that happen.

  1. Stop being a passive aggressive wuss. Get the nerve to approach and be up front and blunt. Say you like her, ask her out, and don’t expect her to read your mind! In other words, in a woman’s mind, men are supposed to be the aggressors, and as a woman, she has a lot of other guys to choose from. If you think she’s gonna wait around, you’re sadly mistaken - especially when she gets from your lack of action that you’re not interested!

  2. Stop being a passive aggressive wuss. When a woman stops treating you with reasonable respect - walk away. No exceptions. The door closes on her. She has no more chances with you. There’s only a few BILLION more of them where she came from. She’s not all that special. Trust me.

I am telling you this the way I am because I don’t believe you’re not gonna hear it otherwise. I’m willing to bet that, like me, you’re a bit of a bonehead. You need to be slapped with the facts to get them.

Well the fact is, you not only told her you weren’t interested, but you demonstrated that you aren’t a man, in her eyes. A man, in her eyes, would simply say he was interested, and ask her out. A man would go after what he wanted, and be blunt about it, right off the bat. You dilly-dallied and made assumptions that led to inaction because you were afraid of rejection.

It doesn’t work that way. We men get to take the shit end of the sick on that one. We are responsible for the approach, and we are expected to “just deal” if we get shot down. I guarantee you, though, that fortune favors the bold. Every girl I have had a serious relationship with told me she was attracted because of my confidence.

If I had known what I am telling you, when I was in HS… I’d have ended up probably marrying a gorgeous woman I could not take my eyes off. But like you, I was too scared of rejection. I didn’t act… and when I did, it turned out to be too little, too late.

Moral of story: Learn to be more assertive, and learn the language of women. And NEVER let a woman treat you like you’re a second class person. NEVER. Walk away at the first sign of an of that shit. Trust me.

Hope this helps.

And by the way, you will not be helped by pheromones on this one, bud. Pheromones are only good as an accentuator of your own behavior in most cases. They will not be “believed” or acted on if they disagree with what your actions are saying.

Chalk it up to a learning experience, as was said before, and deal. There is no one woman worth becoming a stalker over.

And welcome aboard. Feel free to read… there’s a lot to learn here and a lot of great people to learn from.

13

Grow some balls, stop being a passive aggressive wuss, and learn the language of females. That about covers it, I think. Oh, and pheromones aren’t gonna save you on this one - you have long since blown it with that girl.

14

I’m sorry to say but almost everyone have valid points made here…There is no need to be a stalker, no matter how hot the woman. You also need to learn some self respect, increase your self esteem, and don’t let women step all over you.

15

Wait, what just happened here? There was a huge long post that explained some excellent points, then it was distilled down to 3 sentences? Catlord, you should have left it as is! But at least the points still stand.

I’m afraid i agree with the guys on this one, Karasu. If you like a girl, you’re gonna have to step up. If it doesn’t work, step back down and decide if you still want to be friends. Don’t be the guy who works to be her best friend in the hopes that she’ll one day see you’re the best guy for her. BE the best guy for her… better yet, be the best MAN for her. Victory goes to the strong and daring. Take the chances in life and go for what you want. You’ll be surprised at where that’ll take ya. :wink:

16

FFS, Catlord, I had just read your post and went to rep it and you edited :smiley:

Having said that, completely agree with what you are saying.

Dude, you’ve blown that one, there is no going back, Forget her, grow some balls and learn from your mistakes.

Rest assured, you are not the only guy to have done this, Catlord has, I certainly have and you’ll find most guys on here have done it at some point. It’s called experience, learn from it.

17

Not a bad post C L , very good and to the point in fact, If you dont get thanked for it i’ll eat my bush hat, Its made of hemp and it’l probably give me indigestion or a really weird nights sleep. Hmmm maby i eat it anyways :smiley:

18

I am too tired to be ranting like that and be sure I am not overstepping the bounds of reasonable. So I condensed it.