So I planned to start my journal today, and here we go.
Please bare with me, I have a very bad memory problem, and yea, I know I’m way to young for that, but excessive thinking about life, and excessive blows to the head (don’t hold your babies with excessive amounts of lotion/lubricant in your hand please to all you parents), is not a merciful creature.
I’m awaiting my order of pheromones, so tomorrow, or wedsday, will be Pheromones.
Pre Pheromones:
For todays post, the grammar might be a little buggered up, and sloppy. Since I’m only seeing through one eye (you’ll read why later on)
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Alright, so new day starts, and its Monday. To avoid forgetting what clothes I wore the other day, I organize what I wear into days, with a jean for everyday. Today was gym, and I had organized mondays as wearing my “lived in” black jeans, with black shorts under. I threw on a black shirt, and black boots (they are actually sneakers, but Nike was brain dead at the time they decided to make these things
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). Geeze, lots of black eh? No I’m not emo by the way. It’s just that my shorts are black, and I lost my grey shirt so, heh, I’m living with the times for now
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Waled out the door with a positive outlook on life today, determined to put myself output there as suggested by you guys. I went in to the school, and had some homework to finish up, and since it was “HW Day” in homeroom, I decided to get to that. Three girls and one boy sit at the group of desks right next to me. One has liked me since the beginning of the year, well at least I have the assumption since she approached me with random Hi’s and Hello’s everyday, till she got tired with me not approaching back. She has tried to flirt with me too, here and there, but not really. Her name is Stacy (till I remember what her real name is). Another girl is Kassandra, who has a boyfriend she’s “engaged too”, but is willing to cheat on him. She offered to let me, and two of my friends have sex with her around the first day when she came to the school, which was a couple months back. The third girl is Samantha, who wants to have sex with my best friend, Frankie, but isn’t positive. The boy’s name is Sammy, but not much really happened with him, he just paid attention. Here’s how it went:
Sam = Samantha
Ste = Stacy
Kas = Kassandra
Sam: So, I’m thinking of doing the nasty with him
Ste: The nasty nasty?
Sam: Ewww
Sam: I’m not sure if I should do it though. I’m so confused. He says I’m a slut if I dont have sex with him, and he’ll still call me a slut even if I do have sex with him anyways, most likely. (He actually is calling hier a slut because she said that our other best friend, Jonathan, is “on his dick”. So he warred against her.)
Ste: You dont have to do anything for him. Make sure you actually wantto do it before you do. There’s no turning back.
Kas: Huh? You’re a virgin?
Sam: Yea…
Kas: Then make sure you dont do it because you think you have to.
Kas: I don’t think I have to…I mean I do want to, but I’m not sure. I mean, we were talking and he said if I really loved him, I would prove it to him.
Ste: Look, you don’t have to prove anything to him.
Kas pulls out a huge folder that is the size of a encyclopedia, and drops it on Sam’s table
Sam: What the hell is that? flips through it
Kas: Everything you need to know about sex from A – Z.
At this point, I start bursting out in laughter at the thought of her printing out, and then even carrying around a huge folder about sex. I mean, what are you going to do? When someone approaches you, are you going to whip it out and flip to page O: Can you get STD’s from oral sex?
Kas (at me): Don’t even comment. It’s not funny. This book has everything you need to know, and I have it so that I don’t contract STD’s, use a condom, get pregnant…
I start bursting out in laughter again, by myself this time, because just a week ago she was telling everyone how she didn’t know if she was pregnant or not. Then she went on to say she was hyped about getting the baby. LoL
Kas: Don’t comment!
The time was draining on me, and at this point I decided to focus more on my work. It seemed that even just laughing, or being the only one put myself out there to get attention! Well needed experience for my moral indeed. At the end of class, I decided to give Stacy
The day went on hazy, and nothing really interesting happened, besides getting kicked out of class. So GYM came, and I decided to get more involved. I have always generally sucked at sports, any, you name it. I failed, and failed hard. This is partly because my dad caged me inside my house, and away from people, like I was a lion or Tiger, or something. I ended up failing hard in school at sports, while others excelled, and this threw so many endless blows to my self esteem. I ended up not trying hard enough, because I felt as though I was so horrible, there was not time, or hope for me to get better. I also didn’t want to try, because if I participated, they would all just see how bad I am, and laugh at me. It would end up to me feeling bad about myself, and girls liking me less for not being as athletic as other guys and men are. That’s not attractive. So I decided to put on the shell of, “I used to play sports, but it gets old, and now I really don’t like it. You can call me a sports hater.”
I wasn’t about to put that shell on today. The pearl is making its way out of the shell; imagine me as the pearl in renny’s avatar. So I stepped up to bat ( it was baseball) and leaned forward and put the bat up, I was a little butterfly about the posture at first, but hell, I smacked that ball so hard it practically cried. I ran to first, second, third, and then strolled down to home in sweet, sweet, oh so damn sweet, victory.
So that was sweet. I went home that day bymyself, I usually try to walk with one of my tree best friends, and this one guy who goes my way. Today I was alone. I turned into a street that was empty. I walked half way up, and as you know I was wearing all black. Those are blood colors, and a whole bunch of crips where on the other side of the street. They sent two across, who came up and jumped me, I managed to get a hit in o a guy, but was overwhelmed by ten bodies falling on me. A woman started walking down the street, and they ran. She didn’t say anything to me, just passed by, so I walked home today with a black eyes, bruises, and bad aches. Told my mom, and I’m about to go to the doctor right now, so this will be a the end.
Will “NPC” become the “Boss” in this game of relationships, adrenaline, sex, and socializing chaos?