Ohhhh, the frustration!

Field Reports & Anecdotal Experience Women's Pheromone Advice & Field Reports
1

I hate to admit this girls, but I had completely given up on the pheromones for a little bit. Sure, Instant Shine has had it’s effects on me (and a few others), but I just wasn’t getting the results I want. Instant Openness doesn’t really seem to make me more outgoing, and I am not an outgoing person. I had not worn pheromones for awhile, but I guess that’s primarily because I had just moved into a new residence hall over the summer, have a new job, and am taking summer classes so I have had other things on my mind lately. I’m still adjusting, and I don’t go out nearly as much as I used to since all of my friends are either away or are ignoring me due to a misunderstanding.

Anyway, I went home last weekend and met up with one of my high school friends to go bowling. She brought some of her friends too, but they were people I rarely talked to in high school. That night, I decided to try out Instant Shine, Instant Openness, Instant Honesty, and some TAL. I can’t remember for certain, but I think I wore Instant Shine and TAL on my chest and neck and Instant Openness and Instant Honesty in my hair. I still had difficulties coming out of my shell, and everyone was telling me I need to talk more. I could have been a little uncomfortable since I had not seen my high school friend for 2 years and I didn’t really know the others, but would the Instant Openness still have helped with that? Or am I expecting too much out of it? Or was it affecting the others when they were trying to get me to talk?

Later on, my high school friend, her boyfriend, and another guy from high school (whom I don’t think I ever spoke to in high school. I’ll call him Pat for simplicity) went to the park just to talk. Pat put on some music and asked me to dance. I did not trust him, since he was content with tickling me any chance he could, so he gave me his billfold as. . . ummm. . .should I call it collateral? Anyway, he was always wanting to hold me afterwards, and that made me uncomfortable since I was not that interested in him. He even sat me down on his lap, leaned me against his chest, and asked me what would he have to do to get me to talk (again, was that the effect of Instant Openness? My hair was pretty much in his face.) He tried to hold my hand later on, but I wouldn’t let him so he got the hint I wasn’t interested.

I guess I’m just so confused about his reaction to me. I don’t know if it was all the pheromones affecting him, or if he was thinking with his “equipment downstairs”. He did go off with my high school friend in private to talk, but I don’t know what about. I’m paranoid that it might have been about me, and my friend told him that I’m not a virgin, which would have probably peaked his interest in me. Like I said earlier, I did not talk much so I have no clue how he would have been interested in me in the relationship sense. He could not have known that much about me. Would TAL make guys interested in you in any way, or is it just pretty much a confidence booster? And why was he not blurting out any deep, juicy secrets when I had Instant Honesty in my hair, and his nose was pretty much in my hair at times?

Sorry about all the questions. I’m just so confused. Another thing that makes me think that he was only interested in having sex with me that night was because he was going off to the army in four days, and it wouldn’t be a good time to get into a relationship. I hope my thoughts weren’t too jumbled. Any help in discerning these behaviors is much appreciated.

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Was Pat’s behavior out of the ordinary with how he normally treats you? Namely is he normally super attracted to you?

Instant Honesty. Where you wore it affects OTHERS. If you want it to affect you for YOU to open up more, spray it in your cleavage (you’ll breath it) as well as wrists/elbows areas. Areas where YOU will smell it on you.

I don’t use Instant Openness because I’m usually wanting to build rapport (instant honesty) and not have them or me spill our guts (how I think of Instant Openness).

Hope that helps a little!

April

3

Pat was hitting on you left and right so I would have to say the mones are working.

IH makes people talk in a more deeper sense. Just because he didnt tell you some deep dark secret dosnt mean it didnt work. He may have said things he would never ordinarily say and you didnt talk to him much so you were not making it easy for him. IH gives him the comfort to tell you things he would not normally say but it seems to me that any comfort level the mones gained you was lost by you not talking.

I do think you may be expecting to much from mones. They enhance they dont change. You seem very shy if people have to try to convience you just to talk to them. I know you were not interested in Pat in a more then friend sense but it would have been a perfect time to work on that shyness. The more you get out there and talk to people the easier it becomes but you have to make that effort. IO dosnt make you talk, it makes people feel more “comfortable” which in turn makes them talk more then they would normally.

Yes Pat wanted to have sex. All men want to have sex with women they are attracted to it is pretty much how they are designed. Alot of guys will try to have more sex before going off to the military simply because they dont expect to get any while they are there. However this dosnt mean that sex was all he was interested in. You said yourself he kept trying to make you talk to him. I would say he was trying very hard to get to know you. Alot of guys will get into a relationship before heading off. They want to make a connection with home. A person they can think about when times get tough. A reason to make it through one more day of hell (depending on were they are stationed) because they know there is someone who cares about them besides there mothers.

I think what you need to do is work on your shyness. Mones can help there but you cant expect them to do it for you.

Tisha

4

It’s doubtful that pheromones will change your fundamental personality. They may be helpful with growth and development though. I’ve found them to be so for myself. I am also introverted. Pheromones have been a useful tool for me to increase my social awareness, and to manipulate social signaling to a degree.

Everyone does not have to be extroverted. There are people who appreciate introversion in a partner. It’s ok to be quiet. It is also ok to trust your gut feel about who you want to relate to.

Perhaps you will find a person to be quiet with, and when you speak to each other the few words will have deep meaning. Maybe that’s your way, maybe not.

Insightful words from Tisha.

5

wow this is blatantly your thoughts projected outward in the biggest way possible.

first,it doesnt make you odd for being introverted.
its odd that others had an issue with it.(your fears).

then you go all to be different than you are naturally.(fears)

fears come in again when you allowed that guy you did not know to cross boundaries over and over and over and over again.

pheromones dont make people ignorant, and he obviously wasnt taking clues.since you did not put a stop to it, i have to assume you thought (fears) that others would be mad with you had you spoken up.

i dont think that pheromones didnt work… i think they worked on your friends alot. exaggerated the social atmosphere.

my suggestion would not be anything with strong nols in them.
i would have suggested TAL..MX134…a hint of TAF.
anything that would have you feeling in control and maybe a little authoritive.

btw, authoritive types do not cluck their little heads off.
they speak when its timely and for that reason, people listen when they speak. thats not a bad quality to have :wink: :slight_smile:

unfortunately im a clucker. i hope something here was helpful.:o

6

Thanks everyone. This is extremely helpful.

I was not trying to be mean to Pat. He was just simply not my type. That and I don’t know what his personality is usually like, since I have never talked to him before last weekend. Before I go out on a date with a guy, I have to feel like I trust him, and I did not trust Pat. I’m a little bit more firm on this belief now than I was yesterday, because I just had to have a talk with my roommate who has an abusive boyfriend. I never want to get into that situation. And now I am afraid he will come after me and my RA for talking to her about that.

I guess I just have to regain my comfort level with my high school friends in order to be talkative again. She said she would come see me some weekend sometime so we could go clubbing. Perfect time to experiment. . . I should order something with cops. . . :smiley:

7

I quite honestly have to say that I was really thinking about having sex with him at first. It has been. . . like. . . five months. Then I got uncomfortable with the thought and figured I had better start giving him the hint that I wasn’t interested in more than friends. That and I didn’t think I would be meeting anyone that night, so I was not adequately prepared for sex. Dang female hormones. I swear that is what was causing me to not make up my mind. :smiley:

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