Finally broke down and told the wife about my pheromone testing. For some reason, the only one I’ve tried so far that had any noticeable positive effect is Instant Shine. Found out the hard way that she seems to get irritable with MX292 and TUTH, even at low doses (low as one spray split/wrists).
Anyway, like I said, she likes the Shine. So much so that I took my nearly empty to-go and let her use it today. She’s a daytime bartender, and I figured I’d let her give it a shot. Five minutes after she applied it to her forearms (one shot), she was already happier, more talkative, even joking.
Damn! I’ve been doing this all wrong! I should have been spraying the pheromones on her in her sleep!
I told her that Shine tends to wear off after a few hours, so she took the bottle to reapply as necessary.
Now I have two questions:
What pheromones would you recommend for her at her job? She has a fantastic personality at work, and quite a few regulars, but tips have not been that great lately. More money = less stress = better situation all around for both of us. Shine seems to work, but it is scented like a man’s cologne (her words), so she covered it with her VS Amber Romance body spray. Any others? Do they make a more feminine-scented Shine?
She has agreed to see a therapist about our relationship. She did admit to me that she feels sexually “turned off”, not just to me but in general. Literally like her erogenous zones have completely desensitized (and to a slight extent, physically, they have). This is something we are going to talk to the therapist and possibly an OB/GYN about in case there is something physically wrong as well. I was wondering if there were any women’s pheromones that have the self-effect of “waking you up” sexually?
And, in regards to both of the above, are women’s application points the same as men in effectiveness? Where would you recommend she try applying first? The Shine to the forearms self-effected her pretty quick, and that was one shot from a to-go!
For me, IS as well as most other androtics products are just a neutral kind of scent. As soon as it dries I don’t really smell anything, and then I just apply perfume.
I think the female libido is so very sensitive to the hormonal state of the body. Chronic stress (or chronic anxiety as the case may be) causes many hormonal effects. I was once in such a state, and got out of it by seeing a holistic doctor who got me on a healthy diet (healthy fats, no refined carbs, higher protein, etc), encouraged me to exercise everyday, and got me to see a massage therapist. Anyway, one day something clicked and it was all good again.
I don’t know what to tell you except try not to blame her or yourself.
Hmm, I heard MX134 gives you a more respected vibe. That would be good in the work place. Also MX274 because, as I understand, it causes people to be more accommodating to you and even give you gifts.
From what I’ve heard certain medicines can cause a person to lose their sexuality. Has she been taking any medication for a personality disorder? It could just be that her body chemistry isn’t level. Maybe her hormones are out of whack? Her therapist will know what to do. A doctor could probably help as well. Good luck to you. I hope all goes well
Only med is Prilosec. Hormones could possibly be out of whack, but I don’t think there’s really a test for that, is there? I honestly think it’s more psychological.
The MX274 sounds right up her alley, being a bartender.
I would check the label on her meds just in case. I have no idea if there is a test for hormonal imbalance, but you can ask. It may very well be psychological. You won’t know until you go to the therapist I suppose.
Yeah, I’ve never tried MX274, but I know someone who has. Make sure she covers it with her fav perfume because it kinda stinks.
Prilosec (Omeprazol) is an OTC for acid reflux/gastrointestinal problems. Only warning I’ve found is not to take it with other antacids. I take it myself.
Yes, there are tests for that . A GYN who specializes in peri/menopause concerns will be able to help, if that’s the cause.
Diminished libido and loss of nipple and clitoral sensitivity can happen if testosterone is too low. Even before menopause, falling hormone levels can be supplemented to relieve symptoms. There’s no one-size-fits-all remedy; it would need to be tailored specifically to her needs.
edit: if she’s around your age, 33, that is a little young for hormones to be the cause, though it’s not unknown.
She’s about to turn 28 (I know, I robbed the cradle back then) but she is under stress a lot. I will look into that article, xev. Right now I’m trying to get her health insurance, doing the research, because she doesn’t have any through work.
Ironic that they discover that women need testosterone. My sister is always complaining that there’s too much in the air at her house, maybe my wife should spend more time there so she could absorb it.
Well, I looked it over, and other than mild occasional depression, she really doesn’t have any of the other symptoms. Weight gain was listed, actually since all this began she has lost 65lbs. She’s finally the size 9 she always wanted to be. She doesn’t have the cravings or chronic fatigue.
I’m going to research the testosterone level theory and see what I can find out about that.
Loss of libido is so common and it can be due to alot of different things, and often it’s a combination of several “smaller” things that together add up.
Stress and being just plain run down is one of the big ones…Depression does it, as do some anti depressant meds. PMS and hormonal imbalances can cause it (and btw, hormones can be checked by a gyno or endocrine doc if you wanted to try that)… It’s a REALLY long list…
As for what phero’s to wear at work…Lor is the one to ask about that She is not only a phero goddess but also a bartender She knows which combo’s tripple tips and which don’t!
Well, I’m not making a conclusion here, I’ll leave that up to the doctor, but after researching testosterone imbalance, so far, she’s got almost all of the symptoms of low testosterone levels. I’m still working on getting her medical insurance, so a trip to a specialist is still out. If it turns out that she does have low levels, I’m going to see if the natural progesterone cream will work as most of the others either require repeat medical visits for the treatments or have side effects I’m cautious of, especially risk of several cancers.
For now, we’ll go to the therapist to try and figure out some long-term goals, but if there’s an underlying medical problem then the problem won’t be solved until that’s taken care of.
This is a troublesome sad deal I can’t imagine having my sex drive taken away. Recently TG has had his libido going down hill. No wonder he wasn’t wanting to kiss…I think he’s depressed.
I really hope you can get her testosterone back up. Please keep us updated
Ironically, I have bipolar disorder. After a long ordeal of “prescription cocktails” by various quack doctors, I finally found one that got me on the right dosage of lithium. That’s all it took. No puking from the Wellbutrin, waking up under my desk with the chair pulled in behind me and no idea how it happened from the Valium, no severe depression from the many other pills I tried. Now I have the occasional mood swing, but they’re all mild (who doesn’t have mood swings these days?), and most are manic instead of depressive.
Wait, I do have a point here…
Whenever I do get depressed or anxious, one of the sure, proven ways to level me out and bring me back to earth is cuddling and/or sex. I just can’t comprehend not having sex because I’m depressed. It stabilizes me either way, it’ll bring me down from a manic attack too.
I know that it’s different for women, which is why the ordeal with my wife has been so difficult. Because of the situation, I’ve been majorly depressed and anxious. Double whammy! Because of the situation (and part of it), sex is the LAST thing on her mind.
Sometimes I feel like Donkey in Shrek: “I need a hug”
I don’t know how exactly you feel, but I know what you mean by “I need a hug”. Feels like forever since I’ve had a good cuddle session. It’s scaring me. I don’t want to become unfeeling and turn everyone away because I’ve forgotten how to be loving. And being away from my family in college doesn’t help. I’m craving it. Starving for it. Dying inside from it and I hate it so much, but it’s the price I pay for waiting till I find what I want.
As long as you still crave cuddling, you’ll never become unfeeling, and with your personality that I’ve seen so far I don’t think you could forget how to be loving. Just my observation. And I know all about being away at college. Sometimes just a hug from a good friend helps. Pick up the phone and call someone you miss while you’re snuggled up in bed. Cookie dough ice cream helps. (although I prefer dutch chocolate myself.)
And I know it doesn’t help much, but hug.
As far as my wife’s libido, she’s never been a nympho. About the most we ever did it regularly was twice a week. I would have loved more, but seeing as she does have a traumatic past (she has had counseling for that and swears she’s over it and it’s not part of the current problem, but I have my doubts) and low self-esteem, I was happy with what I got. We occasionally experimented, but she’s always been a little bothered by her lack of “sex drive”. I should have got counseling years ago, I guess.
Even though we’re not wealthy and don’t have the nicest car or coolest friends, we’ve been happy together. Sex was really the only problem in the relationship, and while I had my “guy” moments, I was really trying to be understanding and accepting. A LTR is not just about sex, after all.
I think for a while she thought that I deserved someone more sexual and ended up believing it. Low self esteem in a woman is such an incredibly hard thing for a man to deal with. If you’re in the relationship with her, you’re “biased” or “just saying it”, and if you’re not in a relationship you’re “just trying to get in her pants”.
Thanks. Thats some good advice. It really sucks, but I’ll get through it. Only a month and a half of school left till I can go home.
Yes, women’s low self esteem becomes very taxing. It’s what ended my last relationship for the most part. It’s a killer, but props to a guy who can stick with a women who has it.
I think we all need to work on our self esteem a little. It helps to have friends (even if they are in a forum ) who can help you with life’s problems and encourage you.
. A GYN who specializes in peri/menopause concerns will be able to help, if that’s the cause.
She is not only a phero goddess but also a bartender 
I can’t imagine having my sex drive taken away. Recently TG has had his libido going down hill. No wonder he wasn’t wanting to kiss…I think he’s depressed.