Ouch.. this medicine is not going to taste very good.
Yeah, to be honest, that first year after our breakup was rough. He was doing the whole “I still want to be friends” thing, but I was too much of a wreck and definitely did not want to be friends. He couldnt ask me how my day was without me going into a tirade and we didnt talk more less see each other for quite awhile.
He did keep trying though and its only in the past 6 months that we’ve really been able to talk again, and I dont get the emotional outbursts anymore. In the past couple of months hes upped the ante, we’ve gone out on a few dates and see each other quite a bit more too, and thats when the kisses and hugs, being affectionate started back.
I was pretty cold towards him for about a year…he really ripped the rug out from under me with our breakup and I had to get over the anger and hurt from that. His own mom felt like I was doing the right thing, saying I need to make him crawl through hot coals to get back into my heart, and I have to say…in all this time he has not let up with wanting to see me or do things with and for me.
Ive been warming back up to him lately, and yeah, the more time we spend together, the more I want with him. But unlike when we first started dating, theres some history between us now…really painful history. But along with that, really great history too.
I specifically said the guys on here. They don’t know you, him or anyone else attached to you. It’s pointless asking guys that know you both; especially if they know him first. There is a conflict right there. Or did you ask them hoping they’d tell you where his head was at?
To get honest feedback about this, ask the guys HERE. They don’t have a hidden agenda. They don’t have a vested interest in feeding you anything except how they see it. And being guys from all over, that’s going to be a great sampling. If you’re told something consistently - listen! They will be straight with you, taking advice from girls isn’t gonna work if you need a window into a guys head.
All I have to say is: FISH OR CUT BAIT. ONE OR THE OTHER. IN THE RELATIONSHIP OR OUT. THERAPY (HIM) OR MOVING ON TO SCREW SOMEONE ELSE OVER.
I don’t like your odds or chances. Sorry. As someone who cried literally everyday for 3 years and most days for another 2 over some shithead. I really don’t like where you’re at. I’d insist he go to a therapist for the commitment issues. Come back when he’s done, over healing, had his transitional relationship (you don’t wanna be that one. Trust me!!!); and has realised that he walked out on the best thing to ever happen to him. That kind of self sabotage leaves waves of damage in its wake.
Yup I feel you…I meant that Ive already asked friends of mine, not that I went and asked them just now 
I wasnt asking them to tell me where his head is at, since only he really knows that…just for a male opinion.
Beyond their not so hidden agenda ahh! as far as consistency goes, his friends and family still figure its just a matter of time…our breakup was a shock to pretty much everyone as it was. My family loved him, and still think that hes just going through a mid-life crisis. My girlfriends just want us to keep drinking wine together while talking about how much men suck 
But like you said, they all know both of us personally…so they have a biased view of us and our relationship.
I am going to ask the guys on here.
Now that we have been spending more time together, yes a lot of the feelings of wanting to be with him are there…and with that, bringing me to this point here and now to make things official, one way or another. I dont feel like I did in my 20’s where I would just see where things go and take things as they come…Im in my mid-30’s now and do not want to spend…or rather waste precious time in limbo. I do feel that urgency to either tie tie’s, or cut loose.
Im not expecting it to be an instant miracle though. Even for us to get back together, I cant just fall back into his arms as if nothing happened. And if we dont get back together, he has still been a great friend to me..not a jerk or cruel or anything of the sort. I dont feel anything negative towards him really…a lot of time has passed, and though it took me some time apart from him for me to get through the feelings, Im not harboring any of the hurt and anger I had from our breakup.
Whatever happens, everything is still moving forward, one way or another, whether we are together or go our separate ways.
Actually, maybe you SHOULD try to date other guys, for YOU, not for jealousy-inducement. Try new things, try to better yourself for YOU. Maybe dial back the cuddlies a bit / be busy more often – he’s getting something for nothing here. If he sees you might not ALWAYS be there for him, he might “snap out of it.” This will also help explain the pheromone changes.
And resist the urge to talk about how men suck. Some men do; so do some women, but focusing on negative gossip will really only change YOU for the worse. Many men are amazing and wonderful when they want to be. Plus, if he ever HEARS you were at such an event, he may incorrectly assume you think HE sucks, and no more chance, eh?
Oh..Im lumping together like…a year and a half of experiences here Yeah, the men suck wine fests were pretty strong for the first couple months after our breakup…lol! And he did suck…at that moment anyway…hes admitted it too, so I dont think hed think less of me for having my moment. But Im over it…my friends just miss their wine buddy and our bitch-fests is all LoL
I tried dating, but realized I had to get over and past the hurt I was feeling before I could take anyone seriously. It just wasnt fair to get involved with someone with the state of mind I was in, even though I was trying to get out there. Only recently have I started getting back out there yet again and with a more open mind…nothing past a first date so far, but still…its something. As a matter of fact, had a first date last Sat (pre pheromones) and it went well…planning to see each other again this Sat.
Not putting all my stock into this guy…as much as I do love him, and as wonderful it would be if we did get back together and what we had, I havnt put my life on hold. Im 34 years old here…yeah everyone keeps telling me thats not old, but the way I look at it..Im still too old to hang onto hope. I do want to get married again and want someone to share my life with…some day, some day…
Yeah, no shit. Instant Miracle?!! 2 years of separation on top of - how long? Instant only in the cosmological sense.The breakup wasn’t cruel? At moving in? Especially since he immediately came back with the friend thing? Really? What does constitute cruel? What is your definition of a jerk? I think once you felt comfortable in the relationship again, you’d be very damn surprised to find out what you harbor.
How much time? SIX MONTHS IS NOT A LONG TIME. I have gaps in my hair trims longer than that.
Friends for whose benefit? Yours? After he just tore your world apart and shredded your heart? I’m assuming the shred because you’re still holding on. and DUH!!! You’re supposed to have time WITHOUT them to get clarity and over the hurt. I’ll bet you haven’t processed this in any really beneficial way to you. Nothing was dealt with, he just waited until you yelled yourself out.
Why? To keep you from moving on? To keep you on a string? On his schedule? His convenience? There is no consideration for you in any of this that I can see.
Do you get that you’ve never broken up? He left you, kept bugging you to assuage his conscience, and finally got his way about 6 months ago. Yay. That’s such an awesome basis for a friendship, don’t you think? If this was a movie, how badly would you be heckling? You seem, to me, to have more time in your alleged breakup, than the relationship.
I guess I just dont feel all that kind of hostility or animosity towards him. He hurt me but its not something I can or want to hold onto forever. Hes never laid a hand on me, or said anything to me to try and break me down or add insult to injury…he broke my heart.
To me the bright side is that he did speak up before we moved in together, and before we got married, instead of having his doubts and then waiting until then to say something. That to me is what would be cruel…being honest about how he felt at that moment, while heartbreaking, is better to me than staying around for the sake of not hurting my feelings.
Either there is something there, and it will work, or there isnt and it wont.
With or witout him, holding onto anger and raking him over the coals for eternity isnt going to do me any good, and harboring feelings like that is not going to do any good for any relationships I move on into either.
This!!! This this this. Get yourself out of “I have to chase and chase to get any affection” mode. That kills a person! It makes you feel like shit! Feel good. Go out a few times. With a guy, or by yourself, who cares, get out and mix with people who pay attention to you without your having to work so hard at it. You’re only reinforcing in your own psyche that you’re not worthy of simply receiving love. (Not to sound kumbaya-ish or anything.)
Good for you, sweetie! Keep it light and fun. Have a great time.
Hehe..yeah, actually I have. Im lucky to have friends who didnt let me sulk for too long, theres the wine group, but theres also the “we’re going out and youre coming with us and you’re having fun whether you like it or not!!” group too. Im super lucky I have to say… I did try dating, nothing to do with trying to make him jealous, as a matter of fact I abhor it…if he ever did get jealous that would be a surefire way for me to get over him because I find that incredibly unattractive.
These past few months have been different, now that Ive let go of the negative feelings and not an emotional wreck, my dates are going better and Im a lot more open and relaxed than before..even though Ive still yet to make it past a 2nd date, mostly cause we’re just not compatible. Nothing serious has happened with anyone yet, so nothing to write home or talk about. :\
Oakies…didnt think I would have a chance to PheroPlay today, but I ended up going out tonight, its our first time getting together. I do promise to start doing the single tests and finding my sweetspot, but I had to mix again. I felt compelled. The PheroDevil made me do it! lol
930P, 2 Sprays of IO to my hair, 2 sprays of IS sweeping down each arm, 2 sprays IS/b to each side of my neck. We met up at 1030p and talked for awhile…by that time I was really very bouncy and giggly and in an awesome mood. He was super talkative and no matter what I said, he thought it was so funny…it was all really super charming. He also kept pausing and saying…wow, you are amazing, so perfect, so beautiful…wow lol it was really quite something!
He was really just amazingly sweet, but then broke the bad news that his job was moving him out of my city so hes only here for a few more weeks. sigh He did ask me out again next week…the whole time really was just…sweet I have to say. Definitely though, his reaction was…wow. Over and again hah! I mean, I know I looked good but…“perfect”? Nahhh…haha! Anyway. That was my night.
Like I said, and I do promise, Ill start doing my single reports…at this point I realize Im still kinda shooting in the dark and playing around with it. But the results are “wow! amazing! perfect!” hehehe!
Wow, things seems to be somewhat changing right now!
And don’t worry about testing every single product by itself. The simple reason for that is IS, IO an IH are just socials that are very hard to OD on… in fact some people use up to 8x to reach maximum effects and that’s all. IS/b might need some sweet spot testing but from what I’m seeing 2 sprays is your minimum and 3-4 is your sweet spot.
Hope you the best <3
If I spray more than 3 of IS, it makes me fragile and I get a ‘down’. 
This has happened more than once and is most definitely Instant Shine. It does happen, just like being allergic to egg whites.
Wow that’s actually crazy!
it’s the exact opposite for me, at like 6x I have a total caffeine rush. I’m super happy and talkative and energetic. and I would never ever say no to a spray or twenty of ISHINE to be honest 
ISHINE is just so amazing.
Im on the general a pretty upbeat person and I definitely see that IS really revvs that up. Reading back over my post from last night it sounds like I was on something when I wrote it…just bouncing off the walls haha!
This was the first real conversation I had with this guy, so I dont know what hes like usually, but Im sure too that my very upbeat mood added to him being very upbeat too. Im almost tempted to not wear anything and see what hes like the next time we meet…but I dont wanna I liked the reaction, and also how I felt.
On a personal note, I wish I had found this earlier… Just from curiosity alone of testing this out and seeing how people react to me is so much fun. It totally takes my mind off of the ex, and Im actually really very interested in seeing how new people respond to me. Its a very nice distraction.
My ex wanted to come by and see me last night, and before I went out I was trying to make it work, to try and be back home by the time he wouldve been getting off of work, but then after I got all dressed and all sprayed up, I just really wanted to relax and enjoy my eve with this guy, so I texted and told the ex that it wasnt a good night to meet up, but maybe another time. He was fine with that, but it was super nice I have to say…I didnt think about him at all the whole evening.
I wish I found this a year ago!!! But Im glad I have it now
BTW, yeah I can imagine there is already more than enough test results on the socials… I do have TUTH, Ive only tried it once, that first time where I got no reaction from the ex. Thats something I can test through right? I want to be able to contribute and donate my body to science here
To be honest, I would say just spray your ex with it and you would probably happier 
lool. TUTH is usually not a woman-friendly product to start with, so don’t count on it. Play with IS/b with different combinations of socials and see what works best for you. If you are really up to testing new products, check the Experimental Mixes. These are formulas that are unknown to the public and require blind testing and most importantly, user reports. There are a few new MXs that just got released for women.
I would say keep the MXs after you tested and know exactly what to “expect” when wearing anything in the Instant line for women. after you can test blind formulas and be able to tell how the reaction is a little different.
It’s good that you are letting yourself have more options now! Congrats on gettin past that