Yesterday, something went horribly wrong. Even before I applied the P75, although I didn’t yet know it.
I use my calculator to do a daily pheromone optimization. It helps me choose the best dosage and choice of pheromone(s) to wear. More good results. I like it.
So yesterday the calculator indicated that I would have a better result than otherwise if I wore 2.5 mcg of P75 again.
This is the first time in memory that things did not go the way the calculator told me they would concerning the pheromones. I applied 2.5 mcg and some of the Green Irish Tweed that Revivia sent me, which I have come to appreciate more over time. But the results I was expecting did not show up.
I noticed that I was irritable. More than normal, given my level of sleep. I become very irritable if I haven’t had enough sleep. Lately, I have been staying up later than I should, but I also sleep until I am ready to wake up. Why I was tired still is beyond me.
The first half of the day I was becoming more and more irritable, as if the effects were cumulative faster than the irritation was wearing off. There was one point where I was attempting to explain a theory of mine to someone, and they kept insisting on something that made no sense. Of course it made no sense, they obviously didn’t understand what I was saying. But this REALLY pissed me off. I didn’t blow up, but it took me 30 minutes to calm down enough to explain it to her so she did. (She’s one of those rigid thinking jump-to-conclusions knows-it-all even if she doesn’t types, and that irritates the hell out of me, but normally I can just blow it off as boneheadedness.)
Then I went to get some sea shells for a photographic project I was planning. A series of exotic shells against a black backdrop. Simple, elegant, and something that will sell as artwork to a lot of people. But my debit card was declined. Now the shells came to $7 and I had $15 in that account when I left the house. It was my paypal card… so it came as no surprise that someone had charged me for something in the meantime. But the kicker is… having my card declined did not embarass me. Normally I’d have been mortified.
I had a couple of errands to run. It was all I could do to suffer through the first one, which was a low grade irritation, and the second one had me majorly pissed by the end of ten minutes. The objective: enter the drug store and buy two quarts of ice cream and a poster board. Somehow I even bought the wrong ice cream. Wow.
I got home to discover that my first joint test on a theory that has been holding up nicely under private testing had completely failed. I mean statistically significant in the other direction. Instead of 90% accurate, as it usually is, it was 90% wrong. I don’t know what happened, but the only thing I can think of is that I had the base and the comparioson variables reversed… otherwise it should not have been a statistically significant failure.
My second test of the theory, which I was there to run myself under strict controls, also failed inexplicably… and that was followed by doing the photography of the shells, which was literally back breaking work, because I was shooting them straight down from underneath the tripod… and after shooting and re-shooting, I had nothing but more reasons to shoot again. Exposure, noise, lack of critical sharpness… I forgot about diffraction unsharpening at f/32. Sigh.
But all day I was more irritable and frustrated than usual. I think these things would have gone wrong regardless, but I don’t think I would have been so irritable and negative. I was very depressed by the end of the night, and not even 35 mcg of TAA was helping it.
Not sure what to make of that… there was no confidence like the previous time I ran it at 2.5 mcg. Just this irritation.